Once again my rant is going to have to be postponed, because I am just so frickin' overrun with drama that I can barely function.
Today the blogosphere (or, to be more accurate, a small section of the blogosphere) imploded. If you run in the same blog circles as I do, you know what I'm talking about. If you don't, it's no big loss, because drama is drama regardless of the details. Suffice to say there was a very disturbing, very public, turn of events that ended badly. This had a ripple effect throughout The People's Republic of Blogistan* where a great many people were left with dropped jaws saying "what the fuck?"
For the most part, I am unsympathetic to the bloggers involved. If you are going to disclose every frakin' detail of your sordid affair to the entire internet... but then disappear when things turn to shit... well, people are going to speculate, gossip, and discuss the situation because you invited them to. And yet, to say I am unsympathetic does not mean I wish anybody ill-will. On the contrary, I am hoping with all my heart that everybody comes through this okay and can find happiness once again. All I ever want is for people to be happy and live in peace.
But enough ambiguous chatter, let's talk about me.
I am the polar opposite of a life-sharing blogger.
I do not discuss my family, my offline friends, my work, my relationships, or anything that's truly personal. This blog is all at once a highly superficial yet deeply reflective look at my life. Or at least (being honest here) the parts of my life I choose to share.
Take yesterday, for instance. It was a very, very bad day. But all the horribleness revolved around things I choose not to blog about, so I posted a DaveToon of my world raining shit and hoped that people understand this is all I have to say about the situation. Fortunately, most do.
But today's events have me thinking back to a conversation I had with my good friend Bad Robert a few weeks back.
Robert observed that I invite my readers to speculate about the Big Picture because I leave them hanging for details. At first I protested, but (and this is the thing about Bad Robert's brilliance) I quickly realized he's absolutely right. For everything I don't reveal or discuss, it's like opening a big door towards speculation. It's human nature.
So am I really any better off than those who choose to share their dirty laundry?
Apparently not.
People read about my frequent travels and speculate that my career is everything from hired assassin to jewel thief to gigolo to terrorist. The truth is far less interesting but, since I'm not talking about it, I might as well be inviting other people to guess...
FACT CHECK: I'm a graphic designer. I fly around a lot for all aspects of my work, and often add-on extra personal time to my trips because I love to travel and see the world. I am, for the most part, forbidden from sharing details of my work, and so I don't. It's really as simple as that.
People read my joking around about being 20% gay, don't read about any girlfriend, and speculate that I'm 100% gay. Again, the truth is far less interesting but, since I'm not talking about it, I might as well be inviting other people to guess...
FACT CHECK: I'm straight. If I were gay I would have no problem being the most "out" homosexual you know, because my friends, family, co-workers, job, and beliefs just wouldn't care. There's no reason for me to be in the closet if I were gay, and I wouldn't be. Just because I don't blog about women in my life doesn't mean they don't exist.
And so on.
This is not to claim that I don't ever reveal myself on my blog.
There are occasional glimpses into my life that I consider highly personal.
There are other times I've written an entry and realize that it tells a lot about who I am even though it actually says very little.
Sometimes I surprise myself by drawing a simple cartoon that reveals me more deeply than any words could ever express.
Occasional controversial topics do enter into the fray from time to time as you would expect them to.
Though people tend to forget, I have blogged about sexual encounters, albeit in a way that admits to nothing.
And, of course, women and romance are not entirely off-limits, I just don't get too close.
Even my family turns up on rare occasions, if people were to take a minute to notice.
And so on.
Is it better to reveal everything and risk repercussions?
Or is it better to reveal very little and risk speculation?
I honestly cannot say.
Something tells me that this would get a little too personal.
* The People's Republic of Blogistan, courtesy of mah Hilly-Sue.
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I think that even with those bloggers that share all the personal details of their lives, their readers will speculate about what they’re really like, or the reasons for why they are the way they are. It’s the human condition: people will each insert a little of their own viewpoint into any observation, some coloring their perceptions with their own lives more than others.
Bad Robert actually brings up a really good point!
I dunno, there’s got to be a happy medium.
I DO agree with you, though. As crappy as the events of today were….well….yeah. I agree w/ pretty much everything you said.
And, for the record, I never thought you were a jewel thief. Hired assassin, maybe…:)
What am I missing?
To me the meaning of your blog is to bring joy and laughter. Even though you are private it´s obvious that you have a big heart and that´s all that matters.
You should probably start a religious sect because then it would be fun to be religious 🙂
I’m not so sure about your fact checker, Dave, because I know for certain that you are a gigolo/assassin. At least that’s what I tell people.
Hope whatever drama is going on disappears soon.
I think blogging in a personal way requires blogging about the good and bad things. Like Britt does. Otherwise, it will feel insincere.
You told us about your kidney stone. That’s personal enough for me! 😀
I have a few of the same blogs on my list as you, but apparently none of them are part of the drama, because you’ve lost me on what was ‘imploding’. I’m considering myself better off.
I’ve also stopped sharing so much of my personal life on my blog.
I don’t subscribe to Blogography to hear about the inane details of your life. I subscribe to hear you rant and rave about life. You do indeed remind me to take a step back and look at life a little differently.
You and I have talked about this before but wow, yay for Bad Robert for totally hitting the nail on the head. I’ve always been one of those people that just rolls my eyes or snickers at others when they ASSume things about you but hrm, maybe now I have to stop all that ;).
And the thing about your blog is….when you do get more personal, it’s always an unexpected treat, so there’s that. 🙂
Even though I already knew what you did for a living, I rather like he idea of you as a jewel thief. That’s hawt.
😉
There is definitely a high price to pay for revealing all of oneself on the blog. I’m a pretty open blogger but I don’t share everything though people assume that I do.
People will always assume something…whether you tell them the straight up truth or not. Human nature.
As the epitome a personal blogger, I can say with confidence:
Being transparent does not stop speculation. Nor does it mean that people couldn’t still benefit from a fact checker.
I swear some days I think I could write “the sky is blue at my house right now” and I would get comments and emails saying “I know it feels like the sky is falling and your house is on fire, but you didn’t make a mistake in moving to Florida.”
So there’s, uh, that.
So you’re engaged to Hilly?!??!?! CONGRATS YOU TWO!
I’m all for the superficial. I believe I blogged about this before, but I can’t find the link. I’m awesome.
While you might not let us in on the personal details of your life, you always tell us what’s on your mind. And you can’t get much more personal than that.
I just can’t believe that bloglines isn’t updating your feed.
sad times
Unfortunately, it’s not just mine… but hundreds of feeds, and more are being found every day.
Everything on my end is working, so there’s nothing I can do. I visit the Bloglines forum only to find that nobody is addressing anything as more and more feeds refuse to update. Sad times indeed.
All I can do is suggest that you give Google Reader a try. It’s very nicely done, and can import an exported feed subscription list.
Folks who take the risk of baring their souls online who don’t realize that it can open them up to a lot of true shit from time to time maybe shouldn’t be online, or ever leave the house. How can a person not assume that they’ve set up their own acceptable parameters and that’s that. What ‘welcome to the internet’ never got around to them?
As I said elsewhere what troubles me is that now I find myself friendly to people on different sides of an issue and wtf am I supposed to do about that is the question.
I guess when it comes to the intertubes someone is always going to be the asshole du jour. Wait long enough and it’s somebody else.
Whatever you say, you say enough for us to know that you are truly a good soul who works too hard but, always finds time to share and entertain us (in a sometimes cryptically-transparent way). The “Strut the Rooster” link made me cry…and that’s a good thing. You’re a good man, Davey. BTW You used the word “te**orist” in this post. Is that Homeland Security knocking at the door?
What? You say you’re GAY? No, wait, that’s not what you said….. you’re STRAIGHT? Hell, I’m confused. Again. Does it matter if I say that I just love you the way you are? Let’s wiggle our noses and twich our other body parts and send the drama running. Don’t have time for it.
Damn, I thought you were a secret agent. 007 so to speak. Sizzle is your agent 99.
If people read you, there really should be nothing surprising about this list.
personally i think that the amount of stuff you blog about is perfect and a little speculation is enjoyable. before i ever sat around and read all the blogs over again and also listened to the vid blogs i always thought your voice would be different but at the same time i can imagine how it’s a doubled edged sword when it comes to a very public blog. i think you manage to sit in the middle without causing any major repercussions on either side of the issue you don’t reveal too much, and you reveal enough that w know the basics without needing too much speculation.
People will speculate regardless of what you say or do. Tell them the truth and they’ll twist it into something different; tell them lies and they’ll twist them into something they find more interesting. You can’t win. Thus has human nature always been, and ever shall be, amen.
BTW, I choose to believe that you’re a gay gigolo assassin and nothing that you say will ever make me believe otherwise. *shrug* Sorry.
I blog about the things I am comfortable with people knowing, and I don’t care whether or not people speculate. They can if they would like to, but it is immaterial to me, or my life.
I’ve also been a big fan of the saying “Don’t do anything you wouldn’t feel ok discussing with your mom at the dinner table.”
As someone lacking the proper radar to pick up subtle suggestions, (or maybe I’m just not curious enough?) I am often blind-sided by people who tell me that I “would have asked” or “figured it out” if I really cared. I guess I trust people to decide what they want me to know, and to tell me or show me if they want me to know it. If they don’t, I rarely ask or speculate because I’ve found it unproductive. I would’ve been a great military grunt, because I’m so content with the concept of “need to know.”
Anyway, the links provided me with an opportunity to go back in time, and discover again how amazingly articulate you are. I appreciate the extra context, all the more because you’re inviting the inquiry here.
What anyone chooses to share on the internet/blog is of course by choice. I feel like if I didn’t share some private info there would be nothing to blog about as I seem to not have many hobbies to talk about these days as I’m busy. I like your blog cause you reveal a bit and I like to follow your travels and you really have a good outlook on life and common sense. I never really thought U were gay as you talk about Elizabeth H. so much, ha!
If you are still doing the great and meet in Seattle…let me know where it’s at as I wouldn’t mind coming. Hope the rain of poo has stopped in your life.
Wait. You’re *not* an Assassin? I’m so disappointed.
well. I have just two questions to ask you then :
1. did the money order I sent to you get there yet
and
2. why, for the love of god is your site not updating in my bloglines! What did I do wrong! How do I fix it?!
hmm. I guess thats more than two questions, but you are a big boy, Im sure you can handle it!
I don’t think we all should blog the same way. How boring would that be? Some people should let it all hang out. Others, like yourself, should be judicious about it. However, the one thing I think we should all be doing, is telling the truth about ourselves in some measure. An out and out fictional blog… well, I have my fictional characters at the Bar for that. I don’t need a real person to tell me a fake story about their life. I like how you dole out tidbits of your life to us amid really excellent cartoons.
No matter how much a blogger shares, it’s always just pieces.
I have, however, occasionally been surprised by how well someone knows me. 🙂
Great post Dave and great questions. I try to keep a fine line between my personal life and the blog, but sometimes it’s easier said than done. I do mention things from my life on the blog, but not that often I hope.
It depends on if stalking people who abuse the 10 items or less lane at the supermarket and then killing them qualifies me as an “assassin”…
Who says a Graphic Designer can’t be a gigolo/jewel thief/assassin in their spare time? Geez, a person can have hobbies…
you have a unique ability to say so much more than your words do in your posts. Your philosphies on life and the world do shine through, albiet sometimes subtlely. And you have a great sense of humor. I am glad I discovered your blog. 🙂 I get my own sense of Dave2 and it makes me smile.
Like everyone else in the World Wide Internets, you are inclined to your opinion, and have the freedom to express it. People might be offended, or whatever, but they will get over it. But I am sure you know that already.
C’est la vie
This is exactly why I cannot share everything about my life. I know that some day it will come back to smack me in the ass and I’m too much of a puss to deal with that.
My blog is a mix of the personal and not. There are times I consider whether something is too personal to post, but I feel like I’ve got my boundaries mostly figured out now. In some respects it’s less of an issue for me because I don’t have high traffic and comment participation. There are benefits to that.
A propos of nothing but the post. There is something to be said for impersonal..
I have to blog about my life because I don’t have anything else to say. I don’t want to talk about politics, for instance, and I can’t draw … so … there’s just me and my thoughts. I still pick and choose carefully what I put out there, though. I don’t want to hurt anyone and I don’t want to be too vulnerable.
So my blog sucks. 🙂
Dave, I knew you were a graphic designer but I thought being an assassin was a side gig to make extra cash to fund your world travels. I’m so bummed that I was wrong.
As for sharing personal information, I think you share what is perfect for you and necessary amount of info for me to enjoy reading your blog. I must run in other blog circles though, because I have NO idea about this implosion you speak of, although, I am MIGHTY curious now.
So I should stop telling people that you’re really Carlos The Jackal?
Wait? You have a little brother? Is he single? Ha ha ha ha cough…
As of last Wednesday, no! 🙂
I adore your honesty!!!