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Posted on Thursday, March 13th, 2008


As I reported two days ago, the evil Tracy Kaply had blogged about top-loader hotdog buns that I remembered fondly and was compelled to order. But these buns were extra-special because they had grillable sides. After work I rushed home so I could fire up the frying pan, microwave the Smart Dogs, and chop the tomatoes & onions so I could add guacamole to serve 'em up Pink's Patt Morrison Baja style...

New England Dog Bun

So good.

SO good!

I'd almost say that they taste better than the Pink's original, because the top-loader buns makes allllll the difference. First of all, they don't split apart when you try to eat them. Second of all, those toasty grilled sides add a new level of texture to hotdogs that should have been there all along. If it didn't cost $20 to order these buns, I'd never buy anything else again.


In other news, I have been working my way through the "new & improved" Star Trek: Remastered episodes and came across "The Corbomite Maneuver" (if you've never seen it, I have to warn you that there are spoilers ahead). In the episode, the Enterprise comes across a glowing cube that they have to blow up. Then a giant ship comes to spank Kirk's ass for busting their shit, but Kirk bluffs them into backing down. After some boring crap I don't remember, the alien ends up being Opie's younger brother... complete with freaky pasted-on eyebrows and an equally freaky-ass adult voice dubbed onto him. He says his name is "Balok" which is one of those vaguely alien names that humans can still pronounce.

In the end, the entire confrontation was all some kind of test, because the alien is lonely and looking for companionship. After getting Kirk drunk on an orgasm-inducing punch called "tranya," Kirk decides that Lt. Bailey (the whiniest moron ever to serve aboard the Enterprise) should stay behind to keep Balok company...


Corbomite Tranya

Corbomite Lt. Bailey

My guess is that Balok got Bailey drunk on tranya one night, then bit his head off and ate him. That's what I would do if stuck with the whiny bitch for more than fifteen minutes.

I just find it odd that there was never any mention of Lt. Bailey again... at least not that I could find. Perhaps Balok brought him back to the Enterprise in one of the Star Trek novels or something, but I don't think so. Of course, there's always the possibility that Balok and Bailey hooked up and are now happily exploring the universe together. Who knows?

Hmmm... I've already had two hotdogs... dare I eat another? I'm not hungry, but they taste sooooo good.


A video test for Belinda...

Categories: Television 2008Click To It: Permalink


  1. Hilly Sue says:

    Mmmm, I really want your hot dog!

    (in another light, that could have been sexy).

  2. delmer says:

    When I saw the “Tranya” I immediately thought of the kid from Gentle Ben (rats, I normally know his real name).

    Baily must have come back at some point. Well, at least he couldn’t have died — he’s wearing the same color uniform as Kirk. Wasn’t it the folks in the red or blue uniforms that always got killed?

  3. sizzle says:

    And over here in Seattle, Tracy lets out a wail.

  4. Avitable says:

    I wish I had eaten at Pink’s before leaving LA.

  5. claire says:

    I’d forgotten about Lt. Bailey. That’s hilarious. I’m not surprised he never got mentioned again though. Aren’t most TOS eps stand alones?

  6. claire says:

    p.s. Love the vampire Dave header. He is a vamp, right? (all pale with the ankh necklace)

  7. Iron Fist says:

    I think our next blog meet up should be called “TranyaCon.”

  8. Kyra Sutra says:

    Eat another one! And do it slow! On the webcam!

  9. Mrs. K says:

    Maybe it’s a east coast thing, but we can buy those kind of buns at the grocery store. We’ll have to try the tomato, onion, and guacamole toppings. In southern WV we like our hot dogs with mustard, chili, and slaw.

  10. Mike says:

    Now that’s a good argument for a “Davenada”.

    I would say we have a plethora of those buns around here. And they’re 1.79$ a dozen.

  11. Michelle says:

    Damn, now I’ve got hot dog envy.

  12. ETinNY says:

    I remember this Star Trek episode from the first time it aired (and the dozen other times I’ve watched it). I always thought that the real Balok looked creepier that his alter-ego but, I never realized that Clint Howard the Gentle Ben boy (& Opie’s brother). Ironically, it appears that they shaved his head for that episode and now he’s just as bald and still looks exactly like Balok….after he grew up. It also appears that Lt. Bailey (Anthony Call) was returned to earth and, of all things, is presently the narrator for the Discovery Channel’s series “A Haunting”. (I guess he’s been able to overcome his whininess by this point in his life.

  13. Tracy Lynn says:

    You’re welcome, and I’m going to see if I can find them for cheaper.

    Balok always creeped me out.

  14. Dave2 says:

    Oooh! Let me know if you do!

    It seems crazy they aren’t available in Seattle somewhere!

    At first I thought that the Maple people were a rip-off, but the buns they send are marked $6 ($3 each) and the postage $9, so they’re only getting $5 for their trouble. Seems the postage is the biggest offense, but they have to be Priority Mail or else they’d spoil on the way?

    So addicted now…


  15. Holy non-cow! That hot dog looks absolutely delicious. But then, I lost my appetite after seeing Richie’s brother. Poor kid. His teeth were horrendous.

  16. Robert says:

    Apparently he did reappear in a non-cannon fictional work:
    “After exploring the Alpha Quadrant with Bailey for around 20 years, the two decided to continue their explorations into the Delta Quadrant. Their next contact with anyone from the Federation came in 2373, when Captain Kathryn Janeway and the crew of the USS Voyager rescued Bailey from the Mondasians. As a thank you, Balok escorted Captain Janeway on a tour of the Fesarius. (VOY short story: “Ambassador at Large”).”
    Never read it myself but sounds interesting.

  17. Dave2 says:

    Hilly Sue… Everybody wants my hotdog! It’s got guacamole on it for heaven’s sake!

    Delmer… Clint Howard… Ron Howard’s little brother. He was indeed on The Gentle Giant! I had forgotten about that!

    Sizzle… Of triumph! She’s taking over the world… one hotdog at a time…

    Avitable… You could always go back for a visit… it’s still there!

    Claire… Yeah, I don’t think too many supplemental characters reappeared after they were used in an episode. Lt Bailey was really strange because he appeared as navigator for just that one episode, then was conveniently disposed of.

    Claire… That’s Lil’ Dave Death!

    Robin… I like to think so!

    Iron Fist… There are some recipes for tranya on the internet, but I’ve read the original on the show was just grapefruit juice!

    Kyra… I’m afraid that I charge money for that…

    Mrs. K… When I can find vegetarian chili, I love a good chili-dog! With onions and cheese! Delicious.

    Mike… But that’s $1.79 Canadian, which is about $30 in US Dollars!! 🙂

    Michelle… You are not the first to envy my hot dog!

    ETinNY… Balok is indeed scarier than the freak-show puppet that they made all wavy on the show. When he starts speaking with that adult voice it gives me chills every time.

    Tracy Lynn… Cheap buns! It doesn’t get much better than that!

    Bombshell… Which just made him look all the more alien and scary! If you look at more recent photos, he did eventually get his teeth straightened out… but he’s still creepy Balok!

    Robert… So that’s like fan fiction or something? An interesting concept, but kind of strange that it goes against the original concept of providing an exchange of cultures and knowledge. I guess Balok and Bailey really DID hook up!!

  18. Kyra Sutra says:

    GAWD. Did you watch Dr. Laura on Larry King last night???

    That woman is hideous. She looks like that lady from Who’s The Boss. Ick!

  19. I’m still trying to get past “My Buns Arrived Today!”

    You slay me…

  20. HoosierGirl says:

    Okay, I know I haven’t been by here in awhile, but this post is about hot dog buns, baby aliens, and missing Star Trek crew members. I think I’m definitely confused.

    Have a great weekend.

  21. Winter says:

    RAWR. I could so bite your buns. YUM.

  22. Robert says:

    Dave- no it was published & printed work. (“Non-cannon” meaning that the TV writers typically don’t pay attention to anything that happens in novels when they do their scripts.)
    I didn’t read it, but found the synopsis.
    Yeah you’re right…did sound kinda odd.

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