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Day Four: Göteborg to Oslo

Posted on Thursday, March 27th, 2008

Dave!My brief time in Göteborg was at an end, so I said my goodbyes to Göran and made my way to Track 8 for the four hour journey back "home" to Oslo.

When you upgrade your Norwegian Rail train ticket to NSB Komfort Class, they give you tokens which can be used to get a complimentary cup of coffee or tea for the journey. Lucky for me, they also had hot chocolate.

Which comes out of the vending machine SO much hotter than the word "hot" can express.

I mean, seriously... unless you are craving a mouth-full of seared flesh, what is the point of serving a beverage at scalding temperature? It's like when people order a drink at Starbucks and ask for it to be "Extra Hot." What the hell for? Are you going to kill somebody with it? Melt a hole through a steel girder? Boil pasta? Because it's certainly not suitable for drinking...

Oslo Train Snacks

While in Sweden, I highly recommend picking up a Plopp candy bar. I first bought one just because the name sounds funny. Where I come from, "plop" is another word for "crap" (as in "cow plop") and I was intrigued. Now I buy them because they are sublimely delicious. It's chocolate filled with caramel, but they've infused it with toffee flavoring for a mind-blowing treat that tastes nothing like crap.

And speaking of treats... arriving back at Oslo, I immediately headed to the nearest kiosk so I could pick up a bag of crack...

Oslo Smash!

Actually, I think crack would be less addictive than Smash!, but I'd have to give crack a try to be sure. All I do know is that Karla has reached new levels of all-consuming evil to afflict me with this new candy dependency. As if Mars Delight wasn't addiction enough for one man to bear.

And speaking of crack... my old room was as small as a closet, which led me to complain about not having enough space to have a hooker over. Apparently the hotel reads my blog and felt sorry for me, because my new room is at least four times larger. Not only could I fit in a hooker now, but there's room left over for a full breakfast buffet complete with omelette station...

Oslo Big Room!

A pity I'm nearly out of money and can't afford a crack-whore. What I really need to find is a Smash! candy-whore. Heaven only knows I'd be willing to trade sexual favors for a bag.

And, lastly, I present Goodbye Sweden: a photographic series in five parts by David Simmer II...

Goodbye Sweden

Goodbye Sweden

Goodbye Sweden

Goodbye Sweden

Goodbye Sweden

Sometimes you look out your window and it feels good to be alive...


Categories: Travel 2008Click To It: Permalink


  1. Laurence says:

    Aaaaaaaah Maaaaaaaars ! ahem… Sorry…

    I want to taste Smash ! 🙂

  2. sizzle says:

    Can you pleeeeease bring me some Smash? I’ll trade you a Kate for a bag. 🙂

  3. diane says:

    Wow, the Nordic countries almost have Japan beat on the cool candy front!! :p

  4. Tori says:

    OK… as a coffee person who orders my drink extra hot… my first hour at the office was usually too busy for me to actually enjoy drinking my coffee… so by the time I’d get around to it, by ordering it extra hot, it’s still warm an hour later… lame, I know… but hey… it works for me.

  5. I really like those last photos. I don’t know what it is about photos of the sky. Love ’em. Yes, I’m quite the nutjob and also addicted to the skies above Flickr pool 😉

  6. karla says:

    Ah yes, Sweden. Flat and green. I think they are still mad they let Norway go when they split up Scandinavia…Norway has the mountains and the OIL. Nyah nyah!

  7. Kristin says:

    Dave! You are bringing some plopps home, aren’t you? I’ll be your best friend! I’ll let you play with my hippity hop!

  8. Beth says:

    OOOhhh, Plopp and Smash! Send me some, PLEASE!!!???

  9. Lewis says:

    So, did ya pick up the new Volvo? I can’t believe you did that 8-hour trip to/from Sweden. As if you weren’t tired enough!

  10. Karl says:

    Plopp and Smash! Those sound more like comic book titles than candy, but I’ll gladly give them a try so I can be addicted, too.

  11. What is this Mars delight?
    Looks to be aptly named.

  12. whall says:

    This treatise on Norway makes me A) proud to be 50% Norweigian and B) interested in visiting my 50% homeland myself.

  13. Bec says:

    The skies have been beautiful today! And Mars Delight really does have all kinds of deliciousness in them… Want.

  14. Hilly Sue says:

    I wonder what would have happened to Plop if you used it to stir your hot cocoa?

  15. And you know how crap tastes how? On second thought, don’t answer that question.

    Glad you had fun…even if you are poor now.

  16. To think you got such a swank room because someone at the hotel might be reading your blog! What power. It looks like a great trip, Dave. Thanks for sharing.

  17. When I went to London, I was shocked at how teeny-tiny the hotel rooms were, so I guess it’s true of most countries. We just like everything supersized in the USA.

  18. You can call me, 'Sir' says:

    Sweden looks a little like the midwest, without the monolithic buckle holding together the bible belt. I suppose Minnesota has roughly the same Nordic-flavored population, though. Sadly, however, probably not as many bags of crispy chocolatey crack as Norway.

  19. Iron Fist says:

    I hope that Smash tastes better than it looks. Because it looks like something you might have surgically removed from your colon.

  20. turnbaby says:

    Smash looks quite like Bugles covered in chocolate–I could make that.

  21. NYCWD says:

    For some reason… looking at that picture of your room reminds me of the time in TVland where they wouldn’t show two people in the same bed. That seems a bit backwards.

    But they have Smash. So they must be onto something.

  22. Meg says:

    Chocolate-covered Bugles? AWESOME! I’m going to have to try to make some homemade Smash!

  23. Avitable says:

    I really want to taste some of those sweets.

  24. joy says:

    ur blog is pretty with all the cool pictures 🙂

  25. Winter says:

    The last pic made me want to go there. Everything was CLEAN. Even the snow. Everything here in the states is dirty. I bet the Scandinavian hookers look like models compared to our crack hos. Sounds, and looks, like you had a great trip, Dave!

  26. kapgar says:

    Are those similar to chocolate-covered Bugles? They look incredible!

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