Home at last.
If only for a week. Or less. I'm afraid to look at my calender for fear that I'm supposed to fly out again tomorrow. The very thought of having to travel yet again during the winter fills me with dread. I am so very tired of flights that are never on time... smelly hotel rooms... rude and disgusting people... bad drivers... schedule changes... and pretty much everything else, to tell the truth. Is it so wrong that I just want to stay home and hide under the covers in my own bed for a couple months? I don't know if I can take this much longer. Case in point...
This afternoon after following the stupidest person on earth through airport security, I was waiting for my flight home (delayed, of course), when I just started soaking up the atmosphere around me...
- In the seat across from me was a decent-looking woman sitting next to her husband eating a bag of Sun Chips. With her mouth wide open. I had to listen to her crunching and smacking while bits of chip were falling out of her mouth, and it was almost enough to make me vomit. I wanted to start screaming "CHEW WITH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH CLOSED YOU DISGUSTING BITCH!!" and then ask her husband "FOR GOD'S SAKE, WHY DID YOU MARRY THIS HORRENDOUS PIG OF A WOMAN?!?" When she finished off her bag of chips and moved on to a giant beef stick, I had to leave because I was afraid I'd leap across the aisle and choke the ever-loving shit out of her.
- In my new seat, the woman directly to my right was doing Sudoku puzzles while humming along to her music... badly. Then she went and bought an almond-poppy seed muffin which she proceeded to eat with her fingers. Since she was too fucking stupid to remember a napkin (and wouldn't get off her lazy ass and go get one) she would suck on her fingers after every bite. I spent a few minutes debating whether this new disgusting pig bitch was better or worse than the disgusting pig bitch I just left.
- As I was contemplating shoving an almond-poppy seed muffin up a finger-licking bitch's ass, a woman and her hellspawn son sat down directly behind me. The kid was constantly bopping around in his seat while playing his GameBoy AT FULL VOLUME as his mother did nothing. Absolutely nothing. Never mind that her kid was bugging the crap out of everybody in a 20-foot radius, she decided to let him act like a dipshit so she could talk on her mobile phone.
I couldn't take sitting next to a bunch of dumbasses any longer without becoming suicidal, so I left to stand against a wall until my flight was finally ready to board. This was all well and good until a group of unsupervised juveniles decided to come stand in front of me while screaming at each other and laughing uproariously every ten seconds.
All in all, just another day of absolute and total torturous hell that I have to put up with every time I travel... is it any wonder I would rather stay home?
At least nobody stole the windshield wipers off my car in the airport parking lot while I was gone this time.