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Day Four: Köln

Posted on Tuesday, January 29th, 2008

Dave!Today was my last day on the job in Köln, and I got off work an hour early. As I left, all kinds of exciting ideas popped into my head as to how I might spend the afternoon. This is a great city with plenty to do, and I could use a break from my daily routine.

But by the time I got back to my hotel, my attitude had changed entirely. I just wanted to order room service then climb in bed and read a book. The last thing I felt like doing is going to a museum or hunting down something to do. I finally made the decision to at least go out for dinner, which means I ultimately ended up following my daily routine after all. Sad.

One thing I do several times a day in my routine is walk past a poster hanging in a hair salon window that has a guy on it promoting professionally disheveled hair. This is bothersome because he seems to be looking all condescending and judgmental at me in a disapproving way. Every time I pass it, I feel as though he would be making some kind of smart-assed comment to me if he could talk...

Disapproving Man!

I also feel that Meister Bock at the train station's sausage stand is making smart-assed comments at me, but it always involves how happy he is that his massive wiener is so much bigger than mine...

Meister Bock!

When I come back from the job, there's Disapproving Man waiting for me again...

Disapproving Man!

And, of course, he's there when I go out for dinner...

Disapproving Man!

While walking back from the Hard Rock Cafe Köln, I pass four Merzenich Bakeries (they're as prolific as Starbucks in Seattle!). This makes me happy, because they make the world's most perfect donut... DAS SPRITZRINGE!! It's actually more like a pastry than a donut because the center is kind of undercooked and doughy. I think that's what makes them taste so darn fine...


Because the Merzenich shops close promptly at 6:00pm, it's usually slim pickings as they try to get rid of their remaining inventory. Since I must have four Spritzringes (two for after-dinner dessert and two I save for breakfast in the morning), I usually end up having to drift from shop to shop until I've found enough. Today I found none at the first shop, one at the second shop, none at the third shop, and one at the fourth shop. This means I only ended up with TWO Spritzringes for tonight, and this sucks major ass. I only get one for dessert and one for breakfast, which is hardly satisfying. Except perhaps to the bastard on that poster...

Disapproving Man!

Since it's 10:30pm now, I should probably think about getting some sleep. Except my flight doesn't leave until the afternoon, so maybe I should go to the corner pub and get drunk instead?

Though I can't bear the thought of having to face Disapproving Poster Man while I'm wasted, so I guess I'll just climb in bed and play Kitty Spangles Solitaire until I pass out...

Categories: Travel 2008Click To It: Permalink


  1. ajooja says:

    In my book, “Playing Kitty Spangles Solitaire” is code for something else. But you know me. 😉

  2. Lewis says:

    I’ve said all along….YOU NEED ME THERE WITH YOU. To get into trouble instead of laying in a hotel bed or going (AGAIN) to the HRC. And as for Mr. Disheveled Man, I think he’s hot. Not so bad at all. Plus, with Mr. German Wiener Man, it’s a winning combo. Damn you, I’m still jealous. And I got to go to Seattle and back today. That’s all here. No cute men or sausages anywhere.

  3. kilax says:

    Oh my gosh Dave. I am laughing so hard right now 🙂

  4. Hilly says:

    Ummmmm, no…he’s looking at you saying, “Why haven’t you given me Hilly’s number yet?” ;).

    Really though, I am living vicariously through your pastry fetish…deelish!

  5. Gecko Rock says:

    Kitty Spangles Solitaire sounds, um, well… you know.

  6. sfchick74 says:

    Those donuts look hella good. Breakfast, lunch and dinner of champions!

  7. Dave2 says:

    Ajooja… Wait, you have a Kitty Spangle to play solitaire with? I have to use my laptop.

    Lewis… Just think how special a cute guy WITH a sausage would be?

    Kilax… Yeah, Meister Bock is a hilarious guy. But I’d imagine anybody displaying their sausage in public like that would have to be.

    Hilly… They are major addictive. I’m sure I’ll be buying more on my way to the airport, which should do wonders for my health.

    Gecko… Manly and a worthwhile use of my time??

    SF Chick… As delicious as they look, they taste 100 times better… they’re practically orgasmic, I think.

  8. Avitable says:

    That guy’s wiener looked awfully tasty.

  9. Göran says:

    give some donuts *Homer droolings*

    Is Köln as artsy as Berlin? I have to admit that I haven´t been to Köln yet 🙁

  10. Miss Britt says:

    Um, Disheveled Hair Dude looks an awful lot like you do in all your pictures on the site.

    Learn to love yourself Dave. It’s the gateway to peace and happiness.


  11. Dave2 says:

    Avitable… Alas, my vegetarian nature doesn’t allow me to sample a wiener.

    Göran… No, but few cities are as artsy as Berlin! Köln is more of a classic city, with the beautiful Dom (cathedral) towering over everything. They do have a nice art district for galleries at Neumarkt though.

    Britt… Hey, I never said the guy had bad hair! It’s the “condescending gaze of eternal disappointment” that bothers me.

  12. Robert says:

    It’s amazing someone probably pays over 70 bucks to have their hair look like it was attacked by a Flowbee!

    He does have a point about there being Other Restaurants though. 😉 If I was fortunate enough to travel to all these interesting cities, the last place I’d go would be an American chain. (Perhaps watching Anthony Bourdain has rubbed off on me.)

  13. Beth says:

    Desheveled man can talk down to me any day of the week. He’s what’s yummy in Köln….forget the chocolate pop rocks!

  14. tori says:

    I love that you not only know that he is condescending, but you have thought through exactly what he would say. I am pretty jealous of your donuts though. Now I’m going to have to find a recipe and try and perfect it but since I’ve never had one of those I won’t even know when I achieve it. Nice.

  15. Sinjin says:

    All I ever want to do is order room service while reading in bed…

    Kitty Loves You! tee hee!

    okay, i might venture outside… für die Spritzringe!

  16. Disapproving Man is gone! 🙂

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