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Posted on Tuesday, December 4th, 2007

Dave!Despite the fact that I had to go to the dentist for my 6-month check-up first thing this morning, I woke up in kind of a good mood. Sure I had a ton of work to do but, thanks to a handful of sleeping pills, I got a good night's sleep and was feeling okay. That doesn't happen too often now-a-days, so I put a smile on my face and decided to just roll with it.

Then I stepped outside.

It was raining. Hard. I was all ready to wipe that smile off my face and let my mood go sour... but then I looked up...

Rainbow Pano

This photo hardly does it justice, but there was a massive rainbow arching across the entire sky. And, even though you can't tell from the picture, they sky was actually a nice shade of blue. Like this...

Rainbow Blue

In person, the rainbow was spectacular. Bright, vivid, colors that shot across the sky like a Hollywood movie special effect! My happiness was reinstated. I didn't care that it was raining.

But then I got in my automobile. And it wouldn't start. Probably because of my drive over the pass on Sunday, which was undoubtedly a massive strain on the 7-year-old battery that came with the car. Crap.

So now I have to borrow a car to get to my dentist appointment AND buy a new battery. Life is really sucking today. Though my teeth cleaning went pretty well, and there wasn't much need for the dental instruments of torture...

Dental Torture Devices

Surprisingly, the rainbow had followed me into Wenatchee, and was shining brighter than ever as I went to buy a new car battery...

Rainbow Bright

And then it was back to work for six hours until I could find a ride home and install my battery.

Except the engineer who designed my Saturn SC-2 is a sadistic fucker, and replacing my battery was not as easy as it has been IN EVERY OTHER CAR I'VE EVER SEEN. The damn thing is bolted in with a stupid-ass metal shield of some kind, and none of my tools are long enough to unscrew the shit. So I work on the bracket without success, until it gets too dark and I can't see what I'm doing.

Fucking piece of crap Saturn.

Seriously. I bought the damn thing because I wanted to support American workers by purchasing an American car. But it has been a steaming pile of shit from the very beginning. And now, on top of having error lights that won't go out no matter how much I pay the Saturn repair shop, it has a battery that you can't remove with standard tools.

In the morning I'll give it another try. If I can't get it to work, I'll just rent a fucking blow-torch and cut the shit off. Or light the entire car on fire and laugh maniacally as it explodes.

Ooh! I guess I ended up in a bad mood after all.

Stupid rainbow.

Categories: DaveLife 2007Click To It: Permalink


  1. Annette says:

    At least the dentist’s appt. went well, and you saw a rainbow! So save yourself some grief, get a tow and just let the Saturn garage finish the job for you. Sad but true, these days cars just ain’t what they used to be. Ask me how I know. Best of luck!

  2. sizzle says:

    i saw that rainbow. you guys really did get a lot of snow. holy crap!

  3. kilax says:

    It takes at least two technicians to remove the battery from Steven’s car. He even has to take it in when he needs a headlight changed. He drives a Saab. GM makes Saab now…

  4. claire says:

    I saw a rainbow like that about a month ago. It arced from ground to ground and even the violet was vibrant. One end pointed right to a place I sometimes get lottery tickets, so naturally, I bought some.

    Didn’t win though. Stupid rainbow.

    Good luck with your battery.

  5. Awww, poor Rainbow. I’m sure it was not at all involved with the building of your “fucking piece of crap Saturn.” And here you go blaming him (or her or it) for your mood. *tsk!* So unfair.

    Hey, but you guys made the news even on this side of the country, dude! Right next to the story about the town in our state that only has water to last until about January.

    Yeeeah, it’s been one of those years for all of us, hasn’t it?

  6. kapgar says:

    Did you find your pot o’ gold???

    Funny thing… I saw all those dental scrapers and all I could think of were my old high school days in ceramics classes. I used those very same tools for modeling in clay. They are wonderful. Funny how perspective works, isn’t it?

  7. Brandi says:

    Try a prius. Are you planning on buying the blu-ray pirates3? If so each regular dvd comes with a $10.00 off coupon. So if you have a trusted friend that just bought one, hit them up for the certificate inside the label!

  8. Mooselet says:

    I now have “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” stuck in my head. Thanks, Rainbow.

  9. Mr. Fabulous says:

    Plus I hear the stories about a pot of gold at the end are all just a bunch of hype. PR crap.

  10. Alissa says:

    Lovely rainbow, even if it was mocking you!

  11. Miss Britt says:

    Check to see if your insurance covers fire.

  12. Kyra says:

    I love rainbows. I hate fixing cars. I married a rocket scientist to even out the balance. 😉

  13. Avitable says:

    Rainbows are fuckers.

  14. Hilly says:

    a.) pretty rainbow
    b.) you KNOW you want a new car with a navigation system 😉
    c.) I have no idea why I keep using bulleted letter lists lately.

  15. Rick says:

    If you get it running, take the car to a local shopping center parking lot. Leave the key in the ignition. Problem solved, insurance pays.

  16. Dustin says:

    Blow torch + car = Youtube footage.

    Don’t let us down.

  17. Perfect post title. Sorry about the suckage.

  18. ChillyWilly says:

    You know that most models of Toyota and Honda are now made in the America using American workers… have been for at least the last 5 years.

    Saturn was cool when they first started, but they’ve morphed into the rest of the GM world the last few years.

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