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Posted on Wednesday, August 1st, 2007

Dave!Ohmygawwwwd!

I've been desperately trying to get caught up with the massive pile of work that accumulated while I was away last week. This involves me working from the minute I get up every morning until a pass out from exhaustion every night. Ordinarily, such unending torture would be bad enough... but this morning things became further complicated when I awoke with "severe intestinal distress." A disappointing development to be sure, but I've got pills to fix such horrors.

Except the pills didn't work.

At least not completely.

Which meant on top of my huge load of work, there was another potential huge load to worry about all day...

Dave Toilet

I'm afraid to speculate as to what might happen next. Am I going to wake up tomorrow and start projectile vomiting? I'm sure if it's contagious and will make my work day even more miserable and unproductive, I'll come down with it.

Bleh. This is the second time I've been inexplicably afflicted this year. I can only guess that my colon is finally starting to stage some kind of rebellion against my love of chocolate pudding.

Stupid colon.

Is it too much to hope that this is the Norwalk virus, a parasitical infection, or some other kind of non-chocolate-pudding-related ailment?


Categories: DaveLife 2007, DaveToons 2007Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. RW says:

    You need more pig in your diet.

  2. Hilly says:

    Try bananas….orally, I mean. They are a natural anti-diarrheal. And then, if that doesn’t work, put them in the other hole!

    *gasp!*

  3. whit says:

    I’m with Hilly, but try the latter suggestion first, just for shits and giggles. Mostly shits I guess.

  4. Michelle says:

    I’m thinking you should keep your supply of urinal cakes away from BMonkey, ya’ll will be fighting for the toilet. :o)

    You have a laptop, yes? Multi-task Dave. Pull a little tray up to your toilet and … well … :o)

  5. ssp says:

    Don’t forget to take your iPhone to the bathroom!

  6. iddly says:

    You have what I had. But I had red stuff too.

    I am in Australia… you are in the US of A…

  7. Roberta says:

    Make sure you drink lots of water… it’s bad enough what you’re going through, but it is also terribly dehydrating, and that is seriously depleting to a person’s system.

  8. kapgar says:

    Sorry to hear about your colon. I’ve been there. Don’t like it either.

  9. undisciplined says:

    In order to keep up with pudding demand, your body has decided to make its own pudding.

  10. …again, Dave, you’re making it way too easy for me to relate! [wow, sometimes it just really doesn’t serve me well, being an empath..]

  11. Wayne says:

    Dave, why has kapgar been to your colon and the rest of us haven’t? huh?

    I’m not asking for myself but for all the other davites.

    Were the pills butter-flavored?

  12. Avitable says:

    My wife would suggest that you eat normal vegetarian food, like high-protein tofu and beans.

  13. Rick says:

    It really creeps me out, how often my blog buddies and I share symptoms. ‘Cept I didn’t write about mine, and I had ’em first. I’m headed to the doc’s office in about an hour, maybe I can save you a trip. 8-|

  14. Lewis says:

    Does your hair really poke up like that, and do you really have THAT look on your face when a money is watching you on the American Standard….or is it Kohler?
    Two things from the doctor: I never leave home without Acidophilus…..does miracles. And Aloe Vera Gel (a tablespoon or two).
    I hope that Mr. Whipple isn’t out of what you’ll need plenty of.

  15. Nat says:

    Delurking… (can’t remember if I’ve posted before or not.) well if it is Norwalk, might I suggest going over and coughing/touching all those people you really don’t like. That shit (pun intended) is contagious.

  16. Mike says:

    I suggest you take some cough syrup.

    ;-)

  17. sizzle says:

    i’m thinking your colon is crying out for some vegetables.

    i hope you recover quickly!

  18. Tracy Lynn says:

    OK, I’m going to break with clearly established tradition and make a serious suggestion. I suggest that you start taking probiotic supplements. You can get them in the Whole Foods or Wild Oats type markets, and two a day will A) help you get sick less often and B) keep you regular as hell without the kind of flooding you are now experiencing. PLUS, you can still eat like the overgrown 12 year old we know you to be.

    See, I got through that whole thing and I didn’t say ‘shit’. *wince* Damn.

  19. IRV says:

    It’s all those crappy fast-food places you frequent!

  20. ~jtm says:

    Me too! But I’m afraid mine was self induced… ~sigh~. And combined with the migraine I didn’t get much done yesterday.
    Hope things are better now.

  21. diane says:

    tsk tsk…I should have known bad things were ahead with a blog entry title like, “Load”. :p

  22. Michelle says:

    Yeah dose yourself up on a couple of bottles of Calpol, then hopefully you’ll be too happy to care about your poorly wee tummy…or maybe that’ll just aggravate things…I don’t know, don’t take my advice!!

  23. *sigh* Well, I just took a tight dump in my last post–some social commentary prompted by the Minneapolis bridge collapse, if you care to check it out…

    Not going for notoriety here, just acknowledgement of the issues and comment/convo.

  24. andi says:

    I would recommend you try using a probiotic and possibly also a prebiotic. It’s what my doctor recommends I take with me when traveling to another country where the risk of such events are heightened. It will replenish the good bacteria that is lost.

  25. bogup says:

    Dave2, hope you are feeling better soon. Our little dog had the tummy troubles today. Couldn’t even jump to her fav chair and squealed when we tried to pick her up. Must be the same sorta thing. Worst of all she won’t eat the Pepto Bismol. Pork would be OK, BBQ turkey even better.

  26. delmer says:

    If it *is* the Norwalk virus, what type of Dave Number would the good people of Norwalk, Ohio (original home of the virus) get?

    This seems intimate. But also hurtful.

  27. Phil says:

    I hope you’re getting paid overtime. Hope you’re not working for free just because there’s more work than usual to finish up! Don’t kill yourself if it ain’t worth it.

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