It's 9:00pm and I'm already in bed. DYING!!!
I think I'm coming down with something. Perhaps the ebola virus or the Black Death or whatever other plague-like horror is in fashion these days.
It all started this morning when I awoke in a haze, not feeling myself at all. It was kind of like my mind was off sitting on a shelf somewhere, and my body was moving around all independent and zombie-like. Such as when I found myself standing in the shower trying to remember if I had already shampooed my head or not, then deciding to shampoo anyway just in case. Everything went downhill from there. I think the worst part was when I stopped at a stop sign on the way to work and then forgot how to drive my car for a minute. By the time I remembered how to engage the clutch, I forgot where I was going and how I got there. At first I thought that this was a good excuse to go eat ice cream, but then a vague recollection of having to go to work floated across my mind, ruining an already bad moment.
It must be time for some... oh crap... I just remembered that I dropped an Airborne tablet in a glass of water a half hour ago and forgot to drink it.
Excuse me for a minute...
Well that tasted lovely. Kind of like a cross between 7-Up and battery acid, I'd imagine. I wonder if Airborne can cure an ebola virus outbreak? Hmmmm... probably not. I would think you'd need Pepto Bismol for that. Pepto Bismol can cure anything.
One last thing before I go... if I should happen to actually die from this, please everybody remember to follow my last wishes as to how I want to be buried. Thanks!