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Posted on Thursday, July 12th, 2007

Dave!Whenever I have a bad day, I watch the last five minutes of the film Millions because it never fails to put a smile on my face. For convenience' sake, I have it cued up on my TiVo for immediate viewing at any time.

The fact that I am watching it most days now is not lost on me.

Today was filled with a non-stop parade of nasty surprises, so I just finished watching the end of Millions twice...


Things that make me go ARRRRGH!

• Best laid plans... Today I found out that all my intricate and carefully-scheduled travel plans may have to be completely changed. The thought of having to spend hours altering reservations and rescheduling my life fills me with a dread beyond my ability to articulate.

• Steve Jobs is a cruel mistress... I received a package from Apple this morning. Thinking it was my new iPhone, I ripped into the box with a glee usually reserved for a tub of Snack Pack chocolate pudding. But it wasn't my iPhone. It was the car charger for my iPhone. Apple says PSYCHE!! The current scheduled delivery date for the DavePhone is while I am out of the State, which is what makes this little tease particularly cruel.

• A pain by any other name... My back is still jacked up, necessitating that I spend every waking hour medicated and every sleeping hour drugged. My life goes by in a hazy blur and it feels like zombies have eaten my brain. Fortunately, I have a T-shirt for that.

• Master of my domain... Some guy is starting up a blog indexing service site (or whatever) and emailed to tell me that they had chosen "Blogography" as the name. Since it would be "confusing" for people to type in "" and have my silly blog pop up, they want to acquire my domain. So I do what I always do when this happens, I write back and tell them that the very least I would be willing to accept for it is $500,000. Apparently, this was taken as some kind of joke, because he came back with a "maximum offer" of $750 and a hint of legal entanglement. Maybe it's the pills talking, but I find this really funny.

• It doesn't get much worse than this... The most watchable thing on television just now is Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties. Since I am doped up on pain killers and beyond caring, I'm just going to leave it running (despite the film being abhorrently bad). How could anybody watch this crap without being medicated?

Now, if you don't mind, I'm just going to lay here and moan in agony for a while...

Categories: DaveLife 2007Click To It: Permalink


  1. Michelle says:

    Sorry you are feeling bad. I hope your back gets better soon. I think the cosmos is playing with you.

  2. Brandon says:

    Oh man, that’s a good idea. The last five minutes of Millions would do that for me too, so would the last five minutes of Amelie.

    750 bucks? It’s not the pills, that’s a joke. It’s got to be worth at least $800. Seriously, I’m no expert, but I’d have to think that your domain name would be worth a decent price nowadays.

  3. Wayne says:

    My 5yr old LOVEs that garfield movie. Both of them, in fact. Watches it over. and over. and over.

    Let me know how that $500,000 works out. Never heard of the show Millions, but it looks like you’re holding out for about half of it.

    PS: got my two shirts today! My wife knows nothing of blogography (other than that one time I mentioned it so that she would do a “blind” astrological reading for you, which she still hasn’t done), but when I got out the “a little geeky” one she burst out laughing and loved the picture. Said it’s the cutest, most accurate thing she’s ever seen for me.

  4. Hilly says:

    Poor thing…when my day is that bad, I like to take pain killers so you’ve won half the battle ;). Actually, I know it sucks to be in that haze so I hope you feel better very soon and that the world stops fucking with you.

  5. Brandi says:

    They hint at legal entanglement?! Ha! That’s craptastic. Maybe they should put all that effort (and their $750.00 reach around) into thinking of a new (although less catchy/clever) name for their doo-doo head site.

  6. NYCWD says:

    Only $500,000? That’s a steal.

    He’s obviously not too bright.

  7. I hear ya about the pain, the meds, feeling like you’re in a haze, but still in pain! Neck and back pain are the worst. Ask your doctor about getting you a TENS unit (Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation). It really helps to relieve the pain — at least while you’re using it. I hope you’re feeling better soon.

  8. $750 and a hint of legal entanglement?!

    You should get some of what that guy’s smoking…it would probably make your back feel better.

  9. kapgar says:

    Nah, no Blogography for him! Not as though you’re cybersquatting or anything. You have a legitimate site that has been in existence for years and even a real reason as to why you chose the name that is well documented. Good luck to him on this one.

  10. Jill says:

    I’m really sorry about your back. I’m recovering from a ruptured disk, so I know all about back pain. Eight months later, and I’m still afraid to go anywhere without my pain killers. My advice is to see a doctor as soon as you can. I didn’t know what I had done and waited way too long before getting it looked at. Now I’m paying for it. I don’t know if that’s what you did to your back, but back pain is horrible no matter what. I hope you just pulled it and you’ll be back to normal quick!

  11. Avitable says:

    Did I miss where you said you ordered the phone? I must have – that’s awesome! Can’t you put together an overnight package and have your mom overnight it to you when it arrives, along with your replacement penis pump?

    That is hilarious about the domain. I love when people choose names before looking to see if it is already registered on the web.

  12. minimimi says:

    You know what they say, one good turn…oh wait wrong saying. Um.. Always look on the bright side of life? Too clichéd. Dammit…there’s got to be…oh yeah, humor is just another defense against the universe. I totally said that. Just kidding, it was Mel Brooks. But at least you still have your sense of humour Dave! You don’t have a working back, an iPhone, de-tangled travel plans or anything great to watch on tv. But you have your sense of humour and dagnabit that’s gotta be worth something…maybe you can throw it at the wall? That always makes me feel better…

  13. kilax says:

    $500,000? You’re selling yourself short! Doesn’t he know who David Simmer II is? Keep us updated on this one 😉

  14. Robin says:

    Email them back and tell them you like the number $750 and that you have upped your price to $750,000!

  15. Karl says:

    Sell Blogography for $750? Is that guy on crack? It’s worth MILLIONS! Speaking of which, I’ve never even heard of that movie. Have to look into it.

  16. Jeff says:

    Ha! Those blog dopes don’t know who they’re dealing with. “We” will not be railroaded!
    (now hurry and call your lawyer – or Bad Robert or somebody before they steal your site)

    Why do they ship the car charger separately?

    Why doesn’t the Lil’ Dave on my Geek shirt have his signature 5 o’clock shadow?

    So many questions, so little coffee this morning.

  17. RW says:

    Shirt and buttons arrived yesterday! Woo!

    You should answer the “$750 and a lawyer” with “$750 and $1,000,000 for harassment.”

  18. sizzle says:

    i’m sorry you are in pain dave. and i sincerely hope you don’t have to change your travel plans- that is a huge pain- like you need more pain!

    speaking of pain, you’d have to be doped up to watch that garfield movie.

  19. hannita says:

    Sorry things are sucky. Millions is a fabulous movie and sure to make me tear up and laugh all at the same time.

  20. Dan says:

    Can you cue it up on you tube so that I can watch it ten, maybe fifty times?

  21. Catherine says:

    I mean, let me get this straight, they want something, but someone else already owns it, so how they deal with that situation is they first

    1) presumptuously demand that you simply hand it over, and when you don’t, they

    2) throw a tantrum, offer you a pittance for lifetime use of your intellectual property, and if you don’t comply they

    3) threaten you with an attempt to forcibly wrench it out from under you?

    Am I reading that right? Are these people descended from the Borg? Or are they perhaps a two and a half year old human?

  22. Tracie says:

    That sucks you’re in so much pain. I hope you feel better, soon!

  23. Firda says:

    I loved Millions, though the part when his dead mother made an appearance made me all teary-eyed, having lost my mother and all. Will have to remember to pick up the DVD!

  24. ChillyWilly says:

    I’m with Robin on the domain name asking price. Tell them they need to add 3 more “zero’s” to the purchase price.

    Mention something about the guy who sold to Apple and that you are willing to take less than the seven figures he got for his site.

    Then go register and we’ll all celebrate your new found wealth, only requiring an extra character to access your site.

  25. lizriz says:

    They’re starting a blog indexing site, and they don’t comprehend how ridiculous their approach to you about your domain is?

    Yeah, that site’s gonna be a winner.

    Next they’re gonna want to “exchange links”.

  26. bogup says: is worth at least $500 k
    That said, may be worth a bit less than $750. Since it isn’t even registered it might be worth $9.95…

  27. Humor Girl says:

    You got HAD by apple!!!

  28. Laurence says:

    Oooh, I think of you… I send you a lot of kisses… I believe in Power of Kisses !!! 🙂

  29. Kirsten says:

    Im sure this has been said, but those half brains who want to create a blog indexing site decided that in order to get the name they want they have to harass a popular blogger for his domain/blog name?
    Did they even think this through? And how stupid would that be on their part? Two (of many) reasons why that would be particularly dumb:
    1. Word gets around on the web fast
    2. Word gets around between bloggers even faster

    Sounds like they didn’t originally have a name for their site. Came across your blog. Liked the name a lot. And now their trying to pawn it off as their idea. Bull.

  30. Iron Fist says:

    That guy trying to acquire your domain name is something else. “Yeah, I want to start this site, and I chose to call it Blogography, and it looks like you already have that domain name, so could you, like, give it to me?”

    Crazy. And sorry you’re not feeling well. Hope your back mends soon.

  31. thebigwilley says:

    so… got my shirts today, THANK YOU SO MUCH I AM SO PUMPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll try them on when I get home and see if the L is too L. We’ll see, I sure do like those fancy tags…..

    Also, I too enjoy Millions very much. Have you seen that kid, I have no idea what his name is, probably Seamus something, is in “The Water Horse”, a new mixed animation feature about the loch ness monster? He is and again bein severely cute and clever, also I saw your post on that other blog and I too enjoyed Undercover Blues. Superb cast.

    Well, thanks again, I’m still banged up from my show this weekend, so I know your pain and your pain pills, take care, tbw!

  32. Cindy says:

    Whatever did happen with the guy who wanted your website? Any legal entanglements?

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