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Posted on Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007

Dave!Great. My DSL is down. Again. When the highlight of your day is getting a call from Bad Robert wanting to know if your "poop cycle" is back to normal, you just know that there is something seriously wrong in the universe.

The "poop cycle," for anybody who is insane enough to be curious about how Robert's mind works, is his theory about crossing time zones and pooping. Having never traveled more than three time zones in his life, one might wonder how Robert could come up with something like this, but he insists that a trip to Walt Disney World five years ago has permanently damaged his health, and who am I to argue?

Robert claims that his morning run to the toilet became synced to Eastern Time while spending a week in Florida, and never entirely synced back to Pacific Time once he returned. This means he has to wake up three hours early each morning so he can take care of business. Needless to say he's a little upset by that, and hasn't left our time zone since. I argue that this is his body telling him that he needs to move to the east coast, but he worries that failed poop syncing adjustments are cumulative, and has no desire to poop at 2:00 AM unless he's paid to get up that early.

Maybe the answer is a trip to Hawaii to move things forward, but I refuse to get into a conversation with Robert about his pooping habits because I am terrified as to where it might lead.

Alas, I have no such problems. I don't even get jet-lag. For some mysterious reason, my body just adapts to whatever time zone I happen to be in with no questions asked. Of course, as an insomniac, I only sleep 4-5 hours each night, so maybe it's because I'm already so messed up that I don't have to worry about jet-lag or my poop cycle.


I stumbled across a nifty photo I took when looking through my vacation photos. While I was in Santorini, I went to the Prehistoric Thira Museum there. It's small, but well appointed. One of my favorite exhibits was a wall painting of blue monkeys from the 17th century (and that's B.C.)...

Santorini Blue Monkeys

Big chunks of the mural have been reconstructed and reinterpreted, but it's still pretty cool. My theory is that it was really painted by actual monkeys...

Blue Monkeys

Kind of a post-impressionistic interpretation of ancient monkey times in blue.

UPDATE: WTF?!? This morning I wake up and have internet, but now my blog is down? I guess that's what I get for blogging about poop and blue monkeys.

Categories: DaveLife 2007, Travel 2007Click To It: Permalink


  1. Tracy Lynn says:

    Maybe your poop cycle ambushed your blog.

  2. ajooja says:

    If you would have made a graphic to go with the pooping part of the story, it would certainly be a front-runner for next year’s t-shirt. 🙂

  3. Kristin says:

    You know, listening to someone else go on and on about poop makes me feel slightly less weird.

  4. Jeff says:

    My wife thinks I’m totally odd because I poop at the exact same 2 times every day. First I poop at… er, nevermind. I don’t think this is an information thread I want to start.

  5. Avitable says:

    Your friend Robert really sounds hilarious.

  6. Lisa says:

    Hehehehe… you said poop.

  7. bluepaintred says:

    this has now become my most favorite monkey/dave drawing…

    i LOVE it!

  8. Gina says:

    I love monkeys! Your monkey illustration is so great too! You made me smile today. Thank you. 🙂

  9. Hol says:

    Monkeys and poop. Sounds like a day at the zoo. 😉

  10. Hilly says:

    I second Avitable’s opinion of your friend Robert!

    Blue monkeys are rad…mostly cause blue is my favorite color. What? Yes I *did* just say “rad”!

  11. Karl says:

    I see a new limited edition Dave Tee.

    Poop and the Blue Monkeys…isn’t that the name of a Scandinavian hair band?

  12. greg says:

    I would have been better off not reading the words “poop cycle” today…

    glad you’re back though


  13. Suzy says:

    In general I’m against pooping. But after reading this post, I may have edged a wee bit closer to being pro-pooping.

    I’m a moron.

  14. Bec says:

    Is it wrong that I want to turn your version into wallpaper and have my study covered in it?

  15. Bre says:

    My internet here is being … frustrating. Largely because my service provider got confused between the “cancel in June” and “cancel right this very minute” parts. Sigh.

  16. stephanie says:

    Welcome back! Now, I must go…

    TMI, right? 😀

  17. Kyra says:

    Aww I think my comment never made it through the weird-blog-freak-out you had. I just wanted to say I like that Bad Monkey is painting, and I have company while I’m painting today. 😉

  18. I love when you tell us Bad Robert and Bad Monkey stories.

  19. ADW says:

    Huh! Never had an issue with the time zone pooping dilemma. Whatevs. Love the blog – it’s my new little gem to read.

  20. Michelle says:

    Wow, 17th century BC. That’s a great art piece, especially for that time period. You take some terrific photographs. I like your rendition too.

  21. diane says:

    I am not going to even share my intestinal travel patterns, because it is highly irregular, unpleasant stuff. :p

  22. Laurence says:

    I really love your reinterpretation ! BadMonkey rocks ! 🙂

  23. hannita says:

    I am so with Bad Robert on this one…

  24. eric says:

    i think this monkey mural might be a good fabric design for some boxer shorts. anything in the works? some recent comment on kapgar’s blog reminded me of avitable posing in ONLY davewear … i think i’ve got PTSD over that.

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