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Posted on Tuesday, April 17th, 2007

Dave!Oooh. Hate-comment of the day... "You are just another turd in the blog toilet clogging up Google with shit!" At first I thought that my Farrah-hating comment stalker was back, but a quick check of my stats shows a different IP address. So then I took a look through my search referral log and see that this person found me from a Google search for "ann coulter shaved porn." Such is the peril of having your blog archives indexed by Google, I guess.

I'd be upset, but I'm too freaked out at the idea that anybody would want to see Ann Coulter doing porn... shaved or otherwise. Just typing the phrase "ann coulter shaved porn" is enough to make me vomit in my mouth a little bit.

Even though this particular comment can't be taken seriously, I do get criticism from time to time over my apparent refusal to say anything of substance here, and for clogging up the blogosphere with my senseless crap. I draw funny cartoons and talk about wacky stuff, but any serious discussion is notably absent (except on rare occasions). My response has always been that I deal with enough serious crap all day long that I don't feel like dealing with it all over again in my blog. And that's pretty much the truth. Naturally I have my opinions on subjects like Don Imus, President Bush, Global Warming, Stem Cell Research, Knut the Bear, and all the rest... but blogging specifically about that stuff is simply not something I'm interested in. There are many, many other blogs out there who are happy to mix it up, I just don't happen to be one of them.

But to say that I don't put my 2¢ in on current events is not quite true, because many times I actually do so... just indirectly.

For example, my entry yesterday about the spider in my suitcase was written around 1:00am. I couldn't sleep, and decided to write out a blog entry in the hopes that my mind would relax and I could go back to bed. Even though it had just become Monday, I decided not to post it right away, and tried to get more sleep. Fast forward to my lunch hour where I am checking the news, and the Virginia Tech Massacre story is all over the place. Deeply saddened by yet another case of senseless violence in an increasingly senseless world, I added the following paragraph to the entry I had written earlier that morning...

"In a world where it is increasingly more common to kill a life than save it... where it's far easier to destroy something than to create it... it's the little things like this that help me feel better about my place in the grand scheme of things."

This was an indirect response to the news coming out of Virginia, even though most people probably didn't realize it as such.

And, to quote Forrest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."

Of course, now my blog is going to rocket to the top of the Google charts for people who can't get enough Ann Coulter shaved porn. I'd address that indirectly by talking about a television program I once saw about pubic lice, but something tells me this would just confuse the issue further.

Categories: Blogging 2007Click To It: Permalink


  1. diane says:

    *I* knew that’s what yesterday’s parable was about. 🙂 I meant to mention it today in my blog entry, too, because I believe fully that the lack of value we place on life has a lot to do with atrocoties like this.

  2. Jacki says:

    As a person from Tasmania, the place of the largest massacre by a single gunman, the horror that those people from that town are currently dealing with is understood.
    But we all cope in different ways. Mine is humour and just soldiering on. As hard as it is at the time, you pick yourself up and keep going. We are taught that at a young age by our parents, we fall over, they pick us up and say it’s alright – you’re fine.
    So Dave, I think that your blog brings a smile to the face of many of us that tune in daily to escape the reality and at times horror of life.
    For that I thank you.
    You are my breath of fresh air.

  3. Hilly says:

    It fascinates me that people assume the worst of others just by reading a blog. Hi, this is a blog for YOU to do with what you choose. Maybe it is because I know you but there are things often said in the things you don’t say (haha, that was awesome!).

    I got it yesterday but decided to keep it light and comment on the spiders and your swoon factor. Keeping it light is how I deal with senseless death and tragedy sometimes.

    Besides, the not-so-anonymous of us love the hell out of you and that’s that!

  4. El James says:

    Pfft… apparently there’s idiots everywhere. He’s probably just jealous. I don’t read a lot of blogs (hardly any in fact), but your stuff is hilarious. I can’t wait for it to appear every day. Keep it up.

  5. Laurence says:

    That’s exactely because I blog ! 🙂
    Talk about everything and nothing and especially nothing !
    Continue as you do it. You do it so well !

  6. tori says:

    I got your “secret message” yesterday too. It just makes me so sad to think about that I didn’t comment on that part.

    I wrote a goofy post about feminism being bad and global warming being good, and got at least a dozen emails telling me that I am a horrible person. I thought it was pretty obvious I was joking. People will misunderstand no matter what you write, so you might as well write whatever you feel like writing.

  7. Avitable says:

    I like pooping in the blog toilet.

  8. Dave2 says:

    Diane… And yet, there are some truly disturbed individuals out there who live in their own reality. Probably the scariest of all.

    Jacki… And it was working too, until I had to go and mention Ann Coulter shaved porn! Darn it! 🙂

    Hilly… Oddly enough, the comment wasn’t anonymous! Still, I didn’t bother to reply like I usually do, because there was nothing I could really say.

    El James… He might have been jealous… if I actually had images of Ann Coulter doing shaved porn! Alas, I do not. So I’m thinking he’s just a jerk. 🙂

    Laurence… Yes, nobody writes about nothing better than I do!

    Tori… Well, I’d MUCH rather be called out for something like global warning than Ann Coulter shaved porn! Yikes! 🙂

    Avitable… Yes, but remember to wipe after pinching off an entry!

  9. kapgar says:

    Ann Coulter what???




  10. webmiztris says:

    maybe it’s just me, but aren’t ALL bloggers doing pretty much the same thing as you are? I mean, maybe not as well, but that’s the whole blogging point; isn’t it? if they want real stories and serious, hard-hitting news, the fucknut should be reading!

  11. bogup says:

    I agree that we get entirely too much reality in every day life. It’s enjoyable to come to this blog, see some of the best graphics anywhere and post an entry or two in reaction to Dave’s world and bad monkey’s life.
    Laurence hits the nail on the head with her comment:
    Talk about everything and nothing and especially nothing !
    Just what’s wrong with that anyway? For those who desire more or much less, they can just bug off!

  12. Holmes says:

    I just discovered this here blog of yours, and I’ve been enjoying the hell out of it for reasons entirely different from why I enjoy more “serious” blogs. Some people are good at rambling, I think you’re among them. Fuck the naysayers.

  13. bogup says:

    You said a lot by what you didn’t say about Dave2. thanx.

  14. Jacki says:

    By the way – what is shaved porn exactly?
    And how many movies of it do you think Avitable would have?

  15. The Chad says:

    creepiest web search ever. ever.

  16. holygirl says:

    Ah, he’s just pissed because he didn’t have the decoder ring to get your secret message yesterday. And he has no brain. He’s probably more pissed about not having the ring though.

  17. Kapha says:

    Is he afraid we’re going to wake up one day and the Internet will be FULL or something?

    Think of all the bandwidth this loser is sucking up searching for and viewing all that porn! What an idiot!! 😀

  18. Avitable says:

    I’m a shaved porn purveyor.

  19. I caught the subtle undertones of the no killy killy post as well.

    I think it takes more energy and ability to generate interesting posts that do not touch on contraversial subjects. It is easy to get a rise out of someone when one spouts vitriole. Getting a rise out of someone because of your opinion on pretzles or starfish or water cooler etiquette, that takes talent.

    Ann Coulter Shaved Porn is an interesting serach string. The weirdest I have found for my blogaroony was “turtle porn.” The odd thing about that is that my blog gets at least one a week for “turtle porn.” The Intertubes is a scary polace

  20. Dave…
    You’re gorgeous! I am so glad you dont listen to your detractors…. you know we’re all turning up for your special kind of drivel, so dont let them change you! 🙂

  21. Ali says:

    I got here, completely by mistake, after typing into Google Search: “turd in the blog toilet” did I take a wrong turn?

    Just kidding. What a sad life your anon must have to waste time even bothering to comment.

    Hey, damn my brain, I gotta go type that search string in now to see what it flushes out!!!! lol

    Keep up the good work, life is tooooooooooo serious.

  22. Naomi says:

    I’ve always been vehemently opposed to blogging about current events–at least as far as recurring themes go. Isn’t that what newspapers are for? I don’t really need to read some schmos opinion on politics they really know anything about when I can find out you cracked yourself in the nuts with a shampoo bottle instead. You can’t find THAT in the USA Today!

  23. melina says:

    Danged Trolls! Maybe you should redirect them here.

    Maybe that’s what they were Googling for… ???

  24. I agree…reading about the spider in your suitcase and checking out the photo/graphic of the monkey picking his nose, well, reminds me that life is precious and it is taken for granted…because it is the little great things that keep us from going crazy. For me anyway.

  25. Melina, I checked out that link–it’s hilarious!

  26. Kyra says:

    You know, Dave – honestly I’m just glad you write about what you want to. This is one side of you, the serious is another. Both are interesting. I’m just glad you bother, regardless.

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