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Posted on Wednesday, April 18th, 2007

Dave!Today I received probably the strangest phone call in my life.

Well, there was that time Bad Robert called to ask me if I knew how to get baby oil stains out of a fabric car seat, but this one was pretty strange.

My friend Natsuki called because a plumber couldn't understand her. Never mind that she speaks perfect English, the guy she hired to install a sink claimed he didn't know what she was saying. Natsuki was calling to ask if she could explain what she wanted to me, then have me explain it to the guy. Bewildered as to how this could possibly be happening, I agreed. After I had gone over everything with the plumber, he thanked me and then added "I wish these people would get educated before they move here."

Needless to say, I came unglued.

"Oh really?" I replied. "Natsuki not only holds a design degree, she also speaks Japanese, Chinese, French, and English... how many f#@%ing languages do YOU speak? Maybe YOU'RE the one who needs to be educated in how to listen to people!"

Seriously, WTF? I understand that some people have difficulty understanding an accent, but that wasn't the problem here. Natsuki's English is perfectly understandable, and there was no reason at all for a comment like that... the plumber was just being a lazy asshole who apparently has a problem with foreigners... or women... or, more likely, both. I'd bet serious money that if the plumber ever went to Japan, he wouldn't bother to learn a word of Japanese first.


My day was made better when I got home and saw a television ad for Dancing & Singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider-Man!!"

Itsy Bitsy Spider-Man

Probably one of the cutest toys ever. He can really dance! Bust a move, Spidey...

Itsy Bitsy Spider-Man

Somebody I know needs to have a baby so I can have an excuse to go buy one (then play with it before I give it to them).

This is one of those things where I'm going to get drunk one day and order it off Amazon or something.

At least that's the excuse I use when people catch me playing with my Star Trek Barbie & Ken dolls...

Dave Star Trek Barbie

Beam me up, Scotty... I want off this planet.

Categories: DaveLife 2007Click To It: Permalink


  1. sfchick74 says:

    That plumber guy definitely sounds like a jerk. I can’t agree with you about that Spider-Man doll though. Toys like that freak me out. They remind me of that nightmarish Teddy Ruxpin. Certain toys should not move on their own.

  2. Mooselet says:

    Hey, I have a baby!! Clive would love a Spidey – sure he’s only 4 months old, and we don’t technically know each other, but who introduced you to the Coke with Lime cheergirls? If by introduced you mean showed you a photo… ok, never mind.

    And that plumber is a total dickhead.

  3. kristin says:

    Well, IIIIIIIIII have a baby. OK, she’s 6, but still, she would dig it.

    I’m so glad you told that stupid plumber dingleberry off. The only way it could be more satisfying would be audio. Did you record the call?

  4. Way to lambaste that lazy asshole, Dave! It’s too bad that there about a jillion more assholes just like him. 🙁

  5. ally says:

    at least the plumber was honest about his behavior. it’s the ones that are totally racist and does everything in their power to undermine anyone that doesn’t meet their racial standards. those are the truly scary ones.

    your friend should have kicked him to the curb and just hired someone else. still, i’m sorry your friend had to deal with such a jerkoff.

  6. TSM says:

    I have that same feeling when someone has a hard time communicating with a Spanish-speaking person, then insists that they speak English or go home.

    Dude. This IS their home!

    The insensitivity of some folks!

  7. NetChick says:

    Weird!! I can’t say I’ve had any calls like that lately… But then again, everyone I know has my very easy to remember number of 10 years, and I don’t give it out to anyone I don’t know.

    I laughed at your barbie dolls, though. Good times!

  8. holygirl says:

    Umm, I own one. There are no kids in my house and I was completely sober when I bought it. He sits next to my Darth Tater (Mr Potato Head as Darth Vader) and looks badass flashing what I think has got to be a metal sign. The music sucks hard though, kinda like that plumber.

  9. Kyra says:

    Wow, did the idiot say anything back? Good for you, for calling him on it.

  10. Avitable says:

    I think you could buy me one of those for my “kids”.

  11. kapgar says:

    Excuse to have a baby, eh? Wait’ll you read my post today. No, Katie’s not pregnant.

  12. Troy says:

    I saw those at Zellers the last time I was there. I believe I hit the “try me” button on at least a half dozen of them. I like the cacophony of sound that ensued 🙂

  13. shari says:

    Ooooooh, I’m not having anymore babies, but I’ll gladly pick up Spidey for you when I get one for my son, so you don’t actually HAVE to get drunk to have one.

  14. bluepaintred says:

    Avitable sent me here. He did! he said go to daves and be enlightened. Or something very similar.

    Anyway. I need to start watching TV. Did the dancy spiderman seem like something a five year old would like or was it more geared towards two year olds?

    Sigh. Birthdays are tough

    Pee Ess: I speak only one language fluently. I tried to learn more, but klingon is damn hard to grasp!

  15. Caught the commercial for the dancing Spidey on TV last week and nearly got a cavity because it is so SWEET! The plumber guy is a dork, but I could be guilty of something even worse: When I can’t understand someone’s accent I listen intently and do my best to decipher what they’re saying, but if that doesn’t work, I just pretend that I understand… YIKES! Time to re-think my strategy.

  16. sizzle says:

    i am SO glad you ripped that plumber a new one. he deserved it!

  17. suze says:

    Good for you for telling him off. Seriously the ignorance and stupidity of some people is startling.

  18. Tracy Lynn says:

    I never give excuses for buying stuff or watching stuff that is silly or childish. Screw ’em. If I want to watch Spongebob all day, I can. That’s what being an adult means. That and me not having to eat my vegetables.

  19. Lewis says:

    So, did you have to find her a new plumber….one with an education and one that wasn’t as asshole? By the way, I can tell you how to get the baby oil outta the car seat.

  20. Michelle says:

    Teddy Ruxpin?!!! Aaarrrgh! I hated that little sunofagun.

    Is it just me or does that little Spidey look exactly like Lil Dave would in a Spidey suit?

    Ya ever think about what the police would think if they had to go thru your home if something were to (heaven forbid) happen to you? What would your parents say? Sooooo, what’s one more little 3 yr. old’s toy going to matter? (It’s because of this very thought that I got rid of my *toy* drawer.)

  21. Laurence says:

    1/ This plumber is a dumbass ! You are courageous to answer him !

    2/ I want that “Itsy Bitsy Spider Man”. I think that he needs to meet my Mr Potato Head Spider Man !!! Yeah, absolutely ! 😀

  22. WTF, man. Please stop this ride. I want off, too.

  23. Anonymous says:

    and such a cute baby boy you are too.. lol

  24. Jessica says:

    Now I know just what to get you for Christmas….

  25. piglet says:

    good for you in giving that asshole your three dollars worth.

    as for spidey, go ahead and buy it for yourself. when you’re on your deathbed it’ll be one of those things you’ll be proud you did 🙂

  26. CiCI says:

    OK – just buy the spider man. I won’t say anything. After all I’m sitting here looking at the 3 Star Wars potato Heads on top of the TV, the Furby on my dresser, and I have bazillions of rubber ducks at work on my desk. You deserve it.

  27. Manic Mom says:

    I totally got this spiderman toy for my nephew for Christmas last year. The best part–it drives his parents (my brother!) nuts! Love it!

  28. Catherine says:

    Dude was a fucking prick, good on you for your reply. I would love to have been listening to that, better still if your interpreter gig had taken place in person.

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