Finally. Finally the praise and recognition I so richly deserve has started to come my way. It may have taken a bit longer than I expected, but my plan for world domination has been set in motion at long last. As more and more people celebrate my greatness, my influence will grow and my destiny to rule the earth will finally be realized.
Today I was bestowed the great privilege of becoming a "Paul Harris Fellow" by the local chapter of Rotary International. It was awarded me in recognition of service to Rotary and the local community, which is a real honor. I got a medal and a certificate and everything...
I'm thinking I'm just going to wear my medal constantly so everybody will know how great I am. It's not like I do things for the community to win prizes and get medals but, so long as they're giving me one, I might as well take advantage of it.
To celebrate, I went to dinner with my mom at Applebee's.
I had the Tuscan Cheese Spread appetizer as an entree, which tasted so good it was like a full-body massage, complete with a happy ending...
You get grilled ciabatta bread slices that you top with warm, gooey Italian cheese and a tomato-garlic salad. It's pretty amazing, especially if you like garlic. I wanted very much to spread it all over my waitress and have a party, but I try not to do inappropriate things like this when my mother's around.
I guess I'll have to save that idea for another time.
I wonder if you face jail-time for spreading hot cheese on a waitress?
I suppose it all depends on how big a tip you have leave.
And if you're wearing a medal or not, of course.
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Congratulations Dave! That is really awesome. One of my best friends here works for Rotary International!
Really? How does she feel about hot cheese? 🙂
I think you only get jail time if she doesn’t WANT your hot cheese lovin! And you know, being Dave the Awesome and such….
Oh and congrats :).
Wow, Dave. Sometimes your rich snobbery really rubs me the wrong way. I mean, not all of us are getting awards and can afford to spend our evenings at Applebee’s. I think maybe next time you need to think about your audience more.
I mean, the best I can do is a happy ending at McDonald’s.
“Badup ba-ba-bahhh, I’m lovin’ it.“
But was she truly worthy of having hot cheese spread on her? That’s the real question.
Sounds incredible. May have to try that soon!
Congrats, my Lord.
“For he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jolly good feh-eh-lllooowww! Which nobody can deny!”
Congrats!
PS: I just noticed blogtoon6, and adore it.
Hey long time since I read your blog…or any blog for that matter! Well done on your medal of glory! And I think you might need to ask permission to spread cheese sause on the lady first! She might get a little upset otherwise!
I thought I won an award once as a Humanitarian. I didn’t remember doing anything special but figured that since I do a lot of special things, I had just forgotten. I show up at the warehouse on the address, walk in the door, and woke up three hours later in a bathtub filled with ice and a note on my chest that says “Go to a hospital or you will die.”
Still never got my award, though.
Congrats dude! Can I petition now for a job in your Team of World Domination? I’m thinking maybe “Grand Duchess in Charge of Smiting Stupid People” or “Supreme Visigoth in Charge of Musical Downloads.”
If you ask for and gain permission before spreading cheese on another person AND you do it in the privacy of your own home (or her own home), you’re probably safe. But, sadly, Applebees is still considered a public space. Although for all I know there might be legislation in the works in Wash. State to change that – you might want to contact your local legislator, especially now when you have all this Rotary pull. Just be sure to wear the medal when you call…I’m sure they’ll be able to SENSE the power all the way through the phone lines.
Congratulations.
That looks delicious. I had been thinking of making lasagna for dinner tonight, but now I am thinking Applebee’s sounds better.
That’s what I call eating good in the neighborhood.
I bow to your glorious self.
that whole hot cheese scenario has me thinking about madonna and wax (please, get that image out of my head!). . . but that medal? it’s super fly- you’re so pimp.
Congratulations on the recognition! Might I suggest that those who post on this site now appropriately give reference to your new position?
As in addressing you as, Your Highness Dave2. A respectful nod when your name is mentioned would also be in order as would a short genuflection upon seeing you in person. Now to be clear — this is not some type of cynical “tribute” on my part — but honest suggestions that I will follow until the honor wears off or my new Apple MacBook Pro 2.33 Leopard arrives…
Congratulations on the Paul Harris Award! My father and late grandfather received that also. To some people Rotary is old fashioned but as an international group they do a lot of good. It is an excellent example of how good deeds can come out of sitting down, socializing, and talking. Way to go, Dave!!!
That’s so awesome, congrats!
Hot cheese? You’re a dirty boy and I dig that about you!
🙂
Hot cheese on waitress. That sounds like a diet I can wrap my arms around. 🙂
I was a member of the local Rotary Club for a while, but I changed jobs and couldn’t make it to the meetings. Not much of a story.
Congrats to you Dave!
You can spread hot cheese on me. But I wanna wear the medal.
Congrats your highness Dave2.
This should now mean that you do not have to wait in line for rides at theme parks, all A-Ha’s albums loaded on itunes, Veronica Mars renewed for another ten years, Liz Hurley turning up on your doorstep for some lovin’, no more spam on your computer, Jarrod the subway whore putting on weight, and a Hard Rock Cafe opening down the street from your house with a wall dedicated to your greatness.
Or it could just mean you have a pretty medal and lots of people appreciating your caring spirit.
Congratulations! That’s an awesome honor!
Sweet. Nice job Dave – your community is indeed lucky to have you 🙂
First lanyards, now medals. I’m so proud of my Dave Number!!
What? Like your accomplishment doesn’t reflect positively on me?! Pffffft.
Good on ya Dave. Medals always get the chicks.
Congratulations to you! Now I have to look up what a Rotary club is.
The profile on the medal looks suspiciously like Calvin Coolidge…
Congrats on the award but.. Applebee’s? Really?
It’s on my fiancee’s list of “Restaurants I’d rather go to 7-11 than..”
Mmm, peeps with melted cheese.
Mmmmmm.