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Pepperoni

Posted on Thursday, April 12th, 2007

Dave!F#@%ING VERIZON DSL PIECE OF SHIT!

For the third time in two weeks, my DSL is down and, as if that wasn't frustrating enough, calling Verizon tech support results in a recording that directs you to their website before you get to any menus. IF YOU ARE CALLING FOR SUPPORT BECAUSE YOUR INTERNET IS DOWN, HOW IN THE F#@% ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO GET TO THEIR WEBSITE?!? Who is the genius who came up with this logic? Once I do finally get through, another recording tells me that Verizon is aware of the problems in the 509 area code, and it should be resolved in 24 hours.

TWENTY-FOUR F#@%ING HOURS? WTF?!?

Yesterday as I was writing my daily blog entry, it was announced that sublime novelist Kurt Vonnegut had died. As a huge fan of his work, I was sad to hear this. I've learned so much from his writing, and had thought it would be swell to write a nice long entry about him. I started a few times, but couldn't find the words to adequately express how much he meant to me. In the end, I kept coming back to a quote of his that just about says it all...

"I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center".

Indeed.

So it goes... rest in peace Kurt Vonnegut. Time for me to read Slaughterhouse-Five again.

Dave and Avitable

And speaking of utter brilliance, I ran across this "Interview Me" meme on Avitable's blog. Unfortunately, I don't have time to interview anybody, and had to pass on the fun. But Avi, bless his heart, was nice enough to send me his five interview questions anyway...

  1. Out of all of your travels, what is the most interesting place you have been to and why? This is a really difficult question to answer, because I have been lucky enough to see so many amazing places. Ultimately, I'd have to say that Thailand was the most interesting, because my trip there changed my life. It was Thailand that taught me what was important in life, and introduced me to the Buddhist precepts which helped me find my path.
  2. What do you do for a living? You don't have to give identifying specifics, just what it is that you do all day long. I'm a graphic designer, and I pretty much do whatever people are willing to pay me to do (I am such a whore!). I design advertising, brochures, web sites, catalogs, pamphlets, packaging, product instructions, clothing tags, book covers, album covers, media kiosks, and bunches of other stuff. People also hire me to create drawings, illustrations, maps, 3-D models, animation, and other creative endeavors like retouching or editing photos. From time to time I also edit and assemble video footage, design DVD menu screens, and write musical scores for them. In the past I have been lucky enough to work on storyboards for films, illustrations for comic books, character design for video games, and other cool stuff. Pretty much anything and everything.
  3. If you had a chance to hook up with Elizabeth Hurley or save four orphans in a burning building, which would you choose? Well, Elizabeth Hurley is married now, so hooking up wouldn't be a very nice thing to do. I think I'd save the orphans so that Elizabeth Hurley would hear about my story, be impressed with my bravery, divorce her husband, then hook up with me.
  4. What was your favorite meat when you did eat meat? Do you ever miss it? Pepperoni. There is simply no vegetarian equivalent that is worth a crap. Even worse, the fake stuff doesn't crisp up like a nice thin piece of real pepperoni on a slice of pizza does. A delightfully delicious piece of authentic 100% USDA beef pepperoni. An orgasm-inducing, mouthwatering, finger-licking, lip-smacking, slice of sublime pepperoni. Do I miss it? Nah, not so much...
  5. What is your philosophy on life? Forgive me for once again quoting Buckaroo Banzai here, but this is what I come back to again and again when trying to summarize my philosophy on life: "No matter where you go, there you are." What this says to me is to accept things for what they are rather than trying to make them into something they aren't. Wonderful in its simplicity, really.

Excellent questions Mr Avitable! I'm breaking the rules by not inviting people to be interviewed by me, but you can go get in line behind the 75+ people awaiting questions from Avi.

And tomorrow, I'm back to Seattle. But first I'm off to work so I can post this entry.

UPDATE: Well that's odd. Just as I was getting ready to head out, the internet came back on. Bizarre.


Categories: DaveToons 2007, Memes 2006Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. James says:

    Suddenly I have reservations about wanting to get Verizon’s FiOS internet. It’s blazing fast, but if it goes down along with crappy tech support like that…

  2. sizzle says:

    i’m having similar issues with comcast but what else is new in my world? you are coming to seattle? wave hello won’t ya? :)

  3. Jacki says:

    lil’ Dave needs a shave

  4. Hilly says:

    I’m working on my Avitable questions right now! “Wherever you go, there you are. is a phrase that my Dad likes to bust out a lot.

    Have fun in Seattle! Does this mean another “hangover Monday” for you?

    ;)

  5. Suzy says:

    “I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can’t see from the center”.

    I’ve spent my life going over the edge. I think that has been my salvation.

  6. HolyGirl says:

    I’m heartbroken over Kurt Vonnegut’s death. One of my favorite quotes of his (which he wrote on a chalkboard when I saw him speak):

    Never; use; semicolons;

  7. RW says:

    I arrived too late to get in line for that meme. Bad luck again. Looks like a lot of energy anyway. I think I’ll continue living vicariously through you and avi. Much easier to simply read about the yoots running around.

    Anyone seen the vodka?

  8. shari says:

    Two words: P.U.D. fiber. OK, ok, so I’m not sure that “P.U.D.” actually counts as one word, but still… Have a great time in Seattle!

  9. Avitable says:

    Dave, are you looking at my crotch?

  10. Dave2 says:

    No… just wondering where your pants are…

  11. Once a Hoosier… ALWAYS a Hoosier. I think that pretty much sums things up. ;D Kurt Vonnegut was a very cool guy! I had a bunch of books I had to buy last week, and I saw his most recent, but passed on it because I had $200+ worth in my arms already. Still, WTF was I thinking? No, I really wasn’t thinking at all.

    Congrats on your Paul Harris Fellowship Medal. That’s really somethin’!

  12. Lela says:

    I want a pepperoni pizza soo bad now!!

  13. Dave2 says:

    Holy crap! I’ve always supported gay marriage… but look what’s happened! Disney starts allowing gay marriage at their parks, and now pants are optional?!? I guess that skanky lying ignorant bitch whore Ann Coulter was right… gay marriage actually WILL cause the downfall of all morality in America!

    :-P

  14. Avitable says:

    Everywhere Avitable goes is a pants-free zone. People are just too afraid to mention it, with the fear that I’ll beat my chest and carry them off to the top of some building.

  15. RW says:

    Normally there’s a shlong hanging down to Avitable’s knees. It appears to be missing. I think that’s what Dave is looking for… AT.

  16. Tracy Lynn says:

    I had a wicked profound and witty comment all ready to go, but dude, I’ve been completely discombobulated by Avitable’s Mobile Pants Free Zone, which apparently extends some few feet from his body and goes where he does, and now I have to go lie down, because my side hurts.
    From the laughing.

  17. jodi says:

    yes, verizon does suck ass. made me switch to comcast cable modem. but neither one excels at mac tech support. you must know what i am talking about, their overall confusion when they find out you are not on windows.

  18. yellojkt says:

    I respect Vonnegut so much that I named my blog Foma* after his fine fake religion.

  19. Kapha says:

    So it goes.

    Slaughterhouse-Five is one of my favorite stories.

    The movie was surprisingly close to the novel, only leaving out the beginning and ending chapters which would have been purely narrative – it drops you right in. Great music too.

    Another of his books of which I’ve forgotten the name seemed to me to be what “Total Recall” was based on – lots of similarities. Was the title, “Sirens of Saturn” or something?

    Cat’s Cradle and so many others. Great stuff.

  20. Dave D says:

    Wow.. reading your interview was almost scary for me..
    My name’s also Dave, I’m currently studying graphic design, am also a vegetarian, think Thailand is the center of the universe (but then I did live there for 15 years!), and (reading further down in your other posts) have pretty much the exact same taste in movies as you!

    Tell me, did you ever take part in some mad scientists attempt to clone a human? Because I think he might have succeeded!
    Well.. I use ‘human’ in the broadest possible sense of the the word… j/k =)

    I’m glad you got so much out of Thailand – most people seem to have the wrong impression. The general image is of a country designed to be a giant tourist trap. They wouldn’t be completely wrong, but to me, Thailand is a place of beautiful contradiction: the only place in the world you can both find inner-peace and end up puking that inner-peace all over the sidewalk from too much drinking.
    The experience you have is simply a matter of choice. =D

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