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Posted on Saturday, March 17th, 2007

Dave!As a possible side-effect of the insomnia I've been suffering for the past two decades, I don't dream like "normal" people do. To my knowledge, I never have. Whenever somebody tells me that they had this great dream where they ate chocolate pudding at the Eiffel Tower and then ended up having a sex orgy with a half-dozen movie stars (plus Angeline Jolie) at the Louvre, I just nod my head appreciatively as if I know what they are talking about.

But I don't.

My dreams are very different. For one thing, I always know that I am dreaming because I am never actually in the dream. Instead, I am merely an observer... kind of like watching a movie. For example, if I am having a dream where a naked Elizabeth Hurley is laying in bed reading Batman comics to me as I'm being given a full-body massage by Princess Jasmine from Disney's Aladdin while floating in a cloud castle... it's not really me. It's just somebody who looks like me. In the dream, I'm the one floating outside the window watching it all.

Yeah, dreaming pretty much suck ass for me. The bastard...

Dave Sandman

So when somebody sends me a meme that's asking about my dreams, I cannot help but be a little depressed.

Because it's not like I can whip out some great dream about the time I went skydiving with Halle Berry and ended up landing in a giant ice cream sundae where we made sweet love on a bed of chocolate fudge brownies while SpongeBob Squarepants dances around blowing bubbles out of the whip cream. That would be cool, but it just doesn't work that way.

Oh well. My feeble attempt at the "Dream Meme" is in an extended entry...

  1. If money were no object, what would you be doing with your life? Traveling the world.
  2. Money is just that - an object, so why aren’t you doing it? Because if you are going to travel the world, you kind of need a way to pay for it.
  3. What’s better: horses or cows? In a death-match between a horse or a cow, I'd put my money on the horse.
  4. What do you think the secret to happiness is? Fear nothing. Accept everything. Regret nothing.
  5. When was the last time you had a dream that you either remember well or did not want to awake from? Can you share a bit? For some bizarre reason, I'm not in my dreams... I just observe myself in them. So, no.
  6. When you were a little kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? From my 100 Things About Me Page: "At one time or another during childhood I wanted to be a fireman, airline pilot, doctor, and a chef. I ended up being a graphic designer, so I guess none of my career dreams came true. Now I want to be an astronaut when I grow up."
  7. Complete this statement: Love is... ...never having to be somebody you're not.
  8. Can you tell a good story? Since I don't listen to my own stories, I have no idea.
  9. Can you remember your last daydream? What was it about? No. But I'm betting chocolate pudding was involved.
  10. If you were to thank someone today, who would you thank? The people who show up and read Blogography every day. Oh... and the guy who invented Contonelle Fresh Flushable Moist Ass-Wipes. Genius. Sheer genius.

And now I'm off to watch the "Special Features" on my Casino Royale DVD. What a great flick. For James Bond fans, it's a dream come true.

Categories: Memes 2006Click To It: Permalink


  1. Hilly says:

    I was thinking how much I totally heart you….first was number 7, which well…you know how I feel. Then there was number 8, which wanted to make me tell you “yes, you are riveting”. Then number 9….which just made me giggle.

    And then number 10 happened and I might be scared of you now. If I had a Hilly Number, you might have slipped from a one to a two if you weren’t well…you ;).

  2. jodi says:

    what an AWESOME morpheus dave!

  3. Chag says:

    I don’t dream at all. Or I sleep so soundly I never remember them.

  4. bella says:

    So, you dream in third person?

  5. Mooselet says:

    Your Sandman reminds me of Robert Smith from The Cure. Great, now I have “More Than This” stuck in my head.

  6. margalit says:

    Other than a brief period when I was on a particular medication that helped me remember my dreams as a side effect, I only remember maybe one dream a year. And it’s always some kind of nightmare about my kid being kidnapped or killed or something equally cheery. I have had the chase dreams, but otherwise, I remember pretty much nothing. So any dream with chocolate pudding is A-OK with me.

  7. Tal says:

    Try eating lots of cheese right before bed, seriously, it works. But usually, I don’t dream well either. I just THINK in my dreams. It is very annoying.

  8. Michael says:

    I seem to dream more or less normally; it’s my mom that has the strange dreams, more than most people seem to have strange dreams. And she remembers them in pretty vivid detail.

  9. Kapha says:

    Thank you Mooselet! I was thinking the same thing but was too tired to remember his name… Now I can sleep! πŸ˜€

    BTW: Sandman Lil’ Dave gets my vote for Scariest Lil’ Dave to date. And #9 then #10 had me laughing out loud! πŸ™‚

  10. Jill says:

    Okay, that settles it. I’ve been visiting your blog for a few months now, but your Sandman Dave clinches it – I’m now a dedicated reader of Blogography.

  11. Kyra says:

    I’m only ME in my dreams when they’re bad. If they’re good, I always know I am dreaming, and it’s third person too. I feel doubly cheated, I suppose. Sure, I get to feel the terror of the Zombie hunting me down for breakfast, but I don’t get to feel Hugh Jackman… well, never mind. Point being, not fair!

  12. Avitable says:

    I was just planning on watching the special features, too. That was such an amazing movie. I also just purchased the entire Bond series on DVD – all four boxsets. Amazon had them at 70% for one day only last week.

  13. Kristen says:

    In a way, you’re actually really lucky — I know you think it’s not such a great thing to not have first-person dreams, but what about this: if you don’t have first-person dreams, you don’t have first-person nightmares…

    Those are the worst — where you are running away from things that are always just a step behind you or you are trying to barracade or lock the door from whatever is out to get you and somehow a window or another door is still open or unlocked… Instead of being the person who is freaked out and scared for their life, you can stand by watching — you could even root for the baddie!

    I actually envy you.

  14. yellojkt says:

    I love Li’l Dave Gaiman. He looks just like the real guy.

    I’m not sure what that meme had to do with dreams. I have really bizarre involved movie like dreams. They never involve Hallie Berry or a giant ice cream sundae.

  15. Laurence says:

    In my dreams, I never ate chocolate pudding at the Eiffel Tower and then ended up having a sex orgy with a half-dozen movie stars (plus Angeline Jolie) at the Louvre… Strange ? But I never dream about that ! πŸ˜€

    Plus… When I can sleep (I don’t sleep a lot), I don’t dream about myself. Or if I dream about myself, it is a nightmare !!! πŸ™

    P.S. Why Mr Le Chiffre has a french name ? WHYYYYYYYY ? πŸ˜€

  16. doctawife says:

    I think all of children with chap-@ss I’m seeing right now in the ER could benefit from the towelettes.

    I shall pass the word…

  17. Eve says:

    Before I read anything in this entry, I just know that was a Sandman Dave!!! I love it. And I like #4, I’ll have to remember that.

  18. sizzle says:

    how is that a dream meme? heh. i thought you were going to have to recap your sleeping dreams which everyone knows no one is interested in other people’s sleeping dreams. right? or is that just me? i never have dreams or if i do, i don’t remember them. i am kind of grateful for that.

    i like your answer to number 7. πŸ™‚

  19. shari says:

    Ny dad always said, “Men dream of women. Women dream of men dreaming of them.” I figure that’s just about right.

  20. Miss Britt says:

    I dream in the third person quite a bit. I also dream in FIRST person on occasion, but still.. you’re not totally whacked out or anything. πŸ˜‰

  21. The Chad says:

    so….you’re a peeping tom in your own dreams?

  22. Awesome Morpheous/Lil Dave image.

    Send that one to Neil…

  23. I demand this DaveToon on a t shirt or button immediately!

    I’m never me in my dreams either, unless they’re nightmares.

  24. kapgar says:

    Nice Sandman hair there, dude. I’m totally with Eve on that one.

    Casino Royale was fantastic, wasn’t it?

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