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Douchebags

Posted on Wednesday, March 14th, 2007

Dave!Continuing on with TequilaCon Week here at Blogography...

Dateline: This past Friday.

"Dude! Three hundred!" is screamed at me as I answer my phone. "THREE-HUNDREHHHHHD!!" Thinking that Robert is playing some kind of Price is Right bidding game with me, I shout back "THREE TWENTY-FIVE!"

"Dude. No, dude. 300 opens this weekend." He is, of course, referring to the bad-ass Frank Miller comic book turned kick-ass movie, which I had completely forgotten about for some reason. It's about 300 Spartans running around half-naked trying to battle an entire army of Persians against overwhelming odds...

Dave 300

"It's TequilaCon this weekend!" says me. "I'm leaving for the airport in a couple of hours."

"Dude, you were serious about that?" Robert says in disbelief.

"Well, yes I was serious about that. What did you think?" (whenever I don't understand what Robert is talking about, I find it helpful to ask point-blank... this seems to save a lot of wasted time and embarrassment).

"You had blogged about astrally projecting yourself or something, so I thought this was just one of those imaginary things..." His voice is kind of trailing off now. He's already mentally running through a list of other people he can call to watch the movie with him. But he must have came up empty, because the next thing I hear is this...

"But what if everybody who shows up at the tequila thing is a douchebag?"

"They're not douchebags! I know these people." I say.

"No you don't. You just read what they tell you. You don't really know them at all."

And there it is.

With the exception of Jenny, I truly don't know who any of these people are. I'm not worried, of course, I have met plenty of other bloggers and always end up having a great time. Sure there might be a few people who get drunk and try to spread peanut butter on my ass (or something equally bizarre), but past experience has taught me that most people who show up at blogger functions are genuinely good people who just want to meet other bloggers.

"There's always a douchebag that shows up. Maybe you'll get lucky and the only douchebag is you." Robert says laughing, just before the line goes dead.

Now that TequilaCon 2007 is over, I'm relieved to say that I did not run into any douchebags. If Robert's theory is correct, this means it was me after all. Sorry everybody!


Categories: DaveToons 2007, TequilaConClick To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Hilly says:

    Oh shit, now I feel bad…that zipping of my lip had nothing to do with YOU being the douchebag. I think you know why I am zipping my lip.

    Cryptic much?

  2. Bogup says:

    Even though Robert could’ve been a 3, I’m thinking he’s over a century #.

  3. James says:

    I saw 300 on Sunday night. While it was a fun romp, there wasn’t really much else to it; I doubt I’ll be seeing it again. But its great that Frank Miller’s talent is being put to use.

  4. jenny says:

    see… i knew we shouldn’t have thrown out all that extra peanut butter! think of the amazing stories and photos that could have generated. oh well… there’s always ’08. ;)

  5. Karl says:

    No, the douchebag wasn’t you. It was that other guy with the thing and the hat.

  6. Iron Fist says:

    I wish I had known about this conversation ahead of time, I would have worn my “I’m with Douchebag” T-shirt.

    Hey, can this be an award at next years event? We can crown someone “The Douchebag at TequilaCon.”

  7. Karl says:

    i think iron fist is onto something. let’s hand out a douchebag award next year.

    god, i hope i don’t get it!

  8. diane says:

    I never really posted my thoughts on 300 over at my blog. I don’t think I had the popular opinion. While the original historical story is interesting to me, the movie itself was flashy but boring. Lots of pretty (and excessively violent)shots, no substance at all. I actually dozed off somewhere in the middle after I realized the movie was just going to be fight, fight, gore, fight, fight, decapitation, fight, fight, gay-looking King of Persia, fight fight, blood.
    Blah blah blah. I could have lived without seeing it, but thankfully I only dropped a mere $5.50 at the matinee!

  9. Sexiest. Cartoon. Nipples. Ever. ;-)

    Did Davetoon knock over the lead singer of Cameo and steal his codpiece?

  10. You know, I’ve always been kind of scared of meeting people that I met on the internet while blogging. Which is totally retarded since my husband and I “knew” each other before we started dating from a forum that we used to belong to.

  11. Kyra says:

    Half naked spartans, did you say? (sorry, was there more to your post?) Actually, I watched the training video on what they put the actors through to get them in shape, and now I want a really big tire (if you’ve watched in on the website, you’ll understand.)

    As for people who show up at blogger conventions, hmmmm… I have no idea. I have to be honest, I have never met another blogger in person before. However, since I promised Hilly I’d make it to the next gathering, NOW you are making me nervous.

  12. Bre says:

    Yes they were rather half naked and muscle-y in that movie, weren’t they? *Sigh*

    Perhaps the douchebag got stuck in traffic somewhere and you’re safe too!

  13. Bogup says:

    Dave, …”do you like gladiator movies”?

  14. shari says:

    Douchebaggery runs in fear of lanyards. Thanks for keeping us all douchebag-free, Dave.

  15. Lela says:

    That Dave 300 cartoon is sexy!!
    :-)

  16. karla says:

    I’m sorry. I know you probably wrote something funny and entertaining as usual but my mind went all dreamy and flooey after the phrase “300 half naked spartans running around”……

    Um…where were we? Oh yeah, peanut butter on the ass….um…what?

  17. kapgar says:

    As a close, personal, #1-ranked friend of the great Dave, I can attest to your lack of douche-ness.

    But, dude, 300 is showing on the IMAX by my house. I’m soooo tempted. Wanna fly out?

  18. cce says:

    I heard 300 sucks, gay bashing and all!!
    The NYT has said, “The images might have been airbrushed onto a customized van sometime in the late 1970s…you can find many of the same themes, conveyed with more nuance and irony, in a Pokemon cartoon.”
    TequilaCon sounds like a lot more fun.

  19. Jill says:

    Speaking of movies… well, not that it’s really a movie, but I guess I was reminded in the sense that it’s something you watch… Any idea when the voting thing for the Cupid DVD ends? It’s still going on, and Cupid is in the lead. It would be nice to end the voting now :)

  20. Laurence says:

    I love Lil”Dave when he is dressing up as an actor !!! :-)
    All is in the detail ! I love that !

    Anyway, I learned a word : douchebag… (because here, it is shower bag) ;-) And I am sure that you are not the douchebag of Tequilacon 2007…

  21. I think your friend Robert was right. You should’ve seen “300” instead. I haven’t seen it yet, but I’m intrigued by a review on Ain’t It Cool News. According to the critic, the movie has no plot other than “ass kicking that kicks ass that, while said ass is getting kicked, is kicking yet more ass that’s hitting someone’s balls with a hammer made of ice but the ice is frozen whiskey.” He goes on to say that the director “must have a dick made of three machine guns.”

    I may be wrong, but this sounds like it may be the next “Citizen Kane.”

  22. diane says:

    Between Spitznagel’s comment here, and the one he left on Amy Guth’s blog, he is my new favorite commenter in the blogosphere. :)

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