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Posted on Friday, February 16th, 2007

Dave!Despite the fact that I have to teach classes and speak publicly from time to time, I don't consider myself to be very good at it. It's one of those things I would probably avoid at all costs if it were an option. But showing up for career day at my graduating high school seemed like the least I could do, so I bit the bullet, slapped on a name-tag, and off I went.

As expected, it seemed as if only a handful of the students who showed up had any real interest in graphic design, and I doubt my presentation was going to win any converts. I can barely explain what I do in 15 minutes, let alone answer questions or offer advice. To compensate, I had hand-outs to give away that would (hopefully) tell everybody what they needed to know for filling out their mandatory questionnaires...

Graphic Design Presentation Cover

Anyway, I was anticipating a major disaster because, well, it's me we're talking about here... but the audience was attentive and thoroughly nice throughout the entire ordeal, so it was relatively painless.

I mean, hey, I didn't get shot at, wet myself, puke, or die, so I guess that's about the best I can hope for...

Dave Vomit

Still, going back to my high school is a strange experience.

Mostly because I have mixed feelings on having served time there. The best I can say about high school is that my experience was "average." I didn't love it. I didn't hate it. It was something I had to do and so I got through it the best I could. Sure I had friends, participated in extra-curicular activities, and somehow managed to get good grades... but 90% of your time is spent in class, and I always found the classes to be incredibly boring.

Being a computer geek back in the early 80's didn't help much. Personal Computers were so new that most people didn't know what to make of them. I was just another one of those freaky nerds who liked sitting in front of a glowing green screen at the library all day long punching buttons. And, despite what college recruitment ads like this say...


...girls only dig "guys that code" if the guy in question A) Is a millionaire, B) Looks like a Greek god, or C) Has an 11-inch penis (and is preferably possessing a combination of all three).

Setting aside my own massive penis-size for a moment, I'd have to say that there is no "little known secret" in the fact that the hottest girl in school is far more likely to be dating the captain of the football team instead of some geeky nerd who likes computers.

They may have changed the carpet and the paint on the walls of my old high school, but I'm fairly certain this universal truth still holds.

Categories: DaveLife 2007Click To It: Permalink


  1. RW says:

    In bet pukingDave would make a lot of converts!

  2. Hilly says:

    You know what I find interesting? That what was out when we were in school is now in. Geek Chic? What the? Why did we have to suffer through the desinger clothes phase? Um and the big hair, thanks.

  3. Rick says:

    Aw, c’mon… it’s not the size of the mouse, it’s how fast you can click it.

  4. Laurence says:

    What is this ads ? It is incredible… They cannot recruit somebody with this ads !!!
    I really laugh when you wrote the 3 options for a girl to love a geek guy… It is true !!! (but not for all girls… this is the secret) 😀

  5. Catherine says:

    You’ve “set aside [your] massive penis size for the moment…” I hope it’ll be back front and center very soon. You should see the big exclamation point over my head.


  6. Stacey says:

    I’m cool with 8″ myself… in fact, A) and B) are also negotiable, couple hundred thou’ and a demigod and it’s all good.

  7. amanda says:

    I thought that geeks were cool now…oh well, guess that I was just delusional, yet again… 🙂

    At least your chat is over now.

    I’m too old to be relevant to kids now too. It seems that once you have a pretty good grasp about what life is about, you’re “too old” for them to listen.

    Ah well, youth is wasted on the young…

  8. Fleeced says:

    Haha… that’s priceless. Girls dig guys that code? Why didn’t I know?

    I don’t think much has changed at highschools. Computers might be more mainstream, but people who only play games on them aren’t the geeky ones.

    PS: I’m stealing that ad for my own blog.

  9. Avitable says:

    For high school, yes. But any woman who’s worth it prefers a geek.

  10. Jeffe says:

    I’ll bet there are a few female ex-classmates of Bill Gates and Steve Jobs who wish they had hooked up back in highschool!

  11. Troy says:

    Maybe they should have said that “Chick are more likely to talk with geeks that shower regularly”… because there are some pretty stinky geeks out there 🙂

  12. Eve says:

    Good thing we don’t have to hear all about that massive penis of yours again, lol.

    What I tried to tell my niece is that she should snag the geeky guy with the good grades because that’s the dude who’s going somewhere in life. He’ll have money, a good job, and will most likely grow into his looks. And he’s probably a lot more interesting a person than that typically cute boy who can’t read but has all the latest fashions. That kid will end up a fat, bald, broke bastard.

  13. Yeah, I’m pretty indifferent to my high school years as well. I think it’s cool that they asked you to come back and speak though. We never had speakers except for Steve Largent and I was fairly certain I was not going to grow up to play pro football/be a state senator so it was a bit of a wasted assembly for me.

  14. Tracy Lynn says:

    Although mildly disturbed by the visual of you setting aside your penis, as I thought it wasn’t a clip on, I have to tell you that I totally would have dated the computer geek in high school, except I was very busy being drunk.

  15. Dave2 says:

    RW… Sure, but would you really want the kind of converts this is going to attract? 😀

    Hilly… I still loves me my skinny ties! I used to own dozens, but I think I have two left… somewhere. I am secretly hoping for a comeback.

    Rick… Yes, but if you click too quickly, the game is over before your mouse is warmed up.

    Laurence… I’d imagine they might recruit geeks? I don’t know. It is a strange ad.

    Catherine… My massive penis is never very far away… I carry it in my vivid imagination wherever I go!

    Stacey… Oh no! I’m over-qualified! 🙂

    Amanda… I think I can relate to kids, I just don’t understand their motivation. The whole mind-set seems very different than when I was that age, and I’m not sure when things changed.

    Fleeced… It makes me want to watch Sixteen Candles all over again, because it cemented geek stereotypes in my mind. Once the computer age started, geekdom was born?

    Avitable… The trick is getting them to realize this…

    Jeff… But only if they could have hung on to them until the big money started pouring in!

    Troy… I m proud to say that I am a sweet-smelling geek. I am not afraid to shower. 🙂

    Eve… Yet there are women attracted to those broke, bald, bastards, so I guess it just goes to show that there is someone for everybody?

    Frances… They had career day back when I was in high school, but I’ll be darned if I remember what it was all about.

    Tracy Lynn… Yes, well, sometimes a geek’s only hope at dating is to find a drunk girl who won’t notice (or care), so bless you! 🙂

  16. ms. sizzle says:

    geeks are hawt.

    and btw, there is such a thing as too large of a penis.

    i’m just saying…

  17. Lori says:

    OH, god. I wouldn’t go back to high school for any amount of money….and speaking of money…I presented at “Career Day” at my old high school. I brought cool handouts, and give-aways, and my own cool self…completely equipped to enlighten them on the joy that IS industrial/organizational psychology…and all they wanted to know was how much money I make.

    I kinda respected them for not buying my bullshit .

  18. Kirkkitsch says:

    Hey! I just wanted to give you the heads up on my new blog location, if still interested. I haven’t been able to type anything in the actual BODY of my posts, so I stopped altogether once all I could get to work was the titles of the posts. fyi

    Anyhoo, speaking of code, I have to go learn CSS now. Hope I can handle all the hot chicks! …whatever.

    -K 🙂

  19. NetChick says:

    I think yer cute Dave… I would date ya… Even though you ‘code’ — Hell, I code. I can’t judge! 😉

  20. Karl says:

    Man, I KNEW having too large a penis was a negative. Thanks, Sizzle. No wonder I’m single.

  21. adena says:

    I dunno….I’m kinda partial to computer geeks over dumb jocks.

    Call me crazy.

  22. Kristin says:

    you know, Dave, now that I am single again it has been my resolution to date geeks only. They are far more interesting than the rest. As you well know.

  23. I’d pick a computer geek all the way. When a jock hits 65, chances are he can no longer do what he did for a living anymore. When my husband is 65, I’m sure he’ll still be playing MMORPG’s and fixing my crashing Windows (yeah, yeah…mac schmak).

    By the way…if you’re single, I have a sister…

  24. ” the hottest girl in school”

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