Ah yes, another Valentine's Day.
Even if I didn't know this from looking at a calendar or cruising the blogosphere, I would probably be able to guess because of the search referrals showing up in my blog stats. For the past couple of days I've been hammered by people searching for "romance" and "love" and such.
One of the more popular entries returned is from a meme question I answered back in May 2005...
How would somebody go about winning your heart? Don't try to change me. Don't lie to me. Don't make me be the one to always decide what to do. Don't smoke. Don't expect me to read your mind. Don't smother me. Don't buy me stuffed animals. Don't obsess over my every move. Don't demand to know what I've been doing every moment of every day. Don't ask me to like your friends that don't like me. Don't ask me to forgive you for making out with your ex-boyfriend because "nothing happened." Don't get upset when I don't feel like going shopping. Don't be cruel. Don't play mind-games. Don't think you can't talk to me about it. Don't get mad at me for something without letting me know why. Don't go to bed angry. Don't think I don't care. Or, if all else fails, iron my shirt and buy me a beer.
Yeah, I know... I know... I'm a total romantic. But that pales in comparison to the heart-warming story I answered for another meme back in September of 2004...
What's the most romantic gesture someone's made to you? A girl I was dating completely disarmed me once when she gave me new shoelaces. Yes, shoelaces. I was flying out on a trip, and she stopped to see me off on her way to work. After giving me a goodbye kiss, she handed me a package of shoelaces with a bow on top. She had noticed that my laces were a little "mangy," and thought I should have a new pair for my trip. The fact that she paid attention to such a tiny detail in my life really meant a lot to me. No other romantic gesture has ever come close.
Awwwww... a pity she ended up going psycho on me because, other than the feeling that she was going to kill me in my sleep one night, she was a keeper. And, on that happy note, here is this year's Valentine Card from me to you...
Uhhh... you'll have to forgive Bad Monkey. He's been kicked in the teeth by love one too many times.
Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day. My cards from the three previous years are in an extended entry...
Last year was an homage to American Beauty...
The year before that I decided to get all cute and huggable with my readers on Valentine's Day...
While the first Blogography Valentine was a little less hopeful...
Ah yes, that one always brings back warm and fuzzy memories!
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i feel somewhat redeemed by your story of the romantic gesture because that is something i would do and have done except it wasn’t laces.
i think it’d help singles find the right partner if we all told each other how we think our hearts could be won. very telling. 🙂
happy valentine’s day dave.
“Don’t buy me stuffed animals”
Classic. I love that whole list, actually. Now you know I am not always the sap but…I really hope you do find someone awesome one day because you are totally worthy!
You are really a sweetie genius !
Your cards are super !!!
I love the homage to American Beauty… But I prefer this year’s Valentine Day card… Wow… this card is amazing… 😀
I luv you too, Dave 🙂
I’m pretty much w/ Bad Monkey on the subject of Valentine’s Day.
That and the last card on your entry.
I HATE this holiday.
Awww, this is the best Valentine I’ve gotten all day! Well, it’s only the second one. And the first one was from my parents. But it didn’t have a monkey on it, so Dave wins!
Roses are red,
Violets are blue
I love Lil’ Dave
and bad monkey too
Happy Valentine’s Day!!!
Damn…I guess I can’t win your heart.
Can we just skip to the sex, then? 😛
I think Valentines Day should be relegated to one state of the Union, let’s say…Oklahoma. And then we should blow it up. That is all.
(Ironically I am feeling my least valentinesy this year when I am actually IN a relationship.)
I’m with the monkey, too. VD can bite my ass. Oh, wait, that could be REALLY bad…
I love you too. In a totally gay way.
*leaves to return all those stuffed animals…*
I know that it’s hard to really know someone from a blog, but on face-value, I find it sooooo hard to believe that you can’t find the woman of your dreams – you seem like a really great guy ~scratching my head here~
On Valentine’s Day – I heard the best quote yesterday: Valentine’s Day is for people already paired. For the rest of us, it’s just Wednesday. 😀
I like the day *after* Valentine’s Day – 1/2 price chocolate! Yum.
I think it would be pretty obvious now that the reason I haven’t found the perfect girl is because I’m all totally gay in love with Avitable!
Well, that AND I don’t write about my love-life (or lack thereof), so my blog isn’t really painting a picture of what’s happening (or not happening, as the case may be) in that department.
But mostly because I’m all totally gay in love with Avitable.
Ms. Sizzle… I guess that’s why dating sites like match.com are so popular? I know it certainly would have made some of my relationships easier to know ahead of time that I’d be dating a crazy bitch!
Hilly… I have never, ever, understood a woman’s infatuation with buying stuffed animals for a guy. What are we supposed to do with them? Do you SEE any other stuffed animals decorating my home? No? Well gee… MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE I DON’T WANT ANY STUFFED ANIMALS! On the other hand, I totally understand it as the perfect chick-gift, and have fallen back on it many-a-times when not knowing what to get.
Laurence… Yes. “Sweet Genius” pretty much sums me up. I really should print that on T-shirts for myself.
Sultana… Awww… That will keep me all warm and fuzzy tonight as I have a TV dinner and watch episodes of Buffy The Vampire Slayer on DVD all alone. 🙂
Adena… You wouldn’t be saying that if you worked for Hallmark or owned a chocolate company!
Diane… Everybody knows that monkeys make the perfect Valentine card. What’s Valentine’s Day without monkeys? Maybe you should think about trading in your parents?
iFran… Bad Monkey is sobbing in a corner right now. Nobody has ever written a poem for him before, and he gets a little emotional… ohh… wait… now he’s throwing poop at the mailman. Oh well, it was good while it lasted!
Wench… Uhhhh… huh huh huh… I am totally having a Beavis and Butt-Head moment here… I am so totally going to virtually score with a chick!
Nicole… Frances Danger may object to your choice of state but, in theory, I think it’s an excellent plan.
Rick… Of all the places to get VD, that would be the hardest to explain, yes.
Avitable… Well there you have it. We are officially a couple then. Who is going to break it to your wife?
Belinda… There you go! You’ve just moved up my list of Valentine Blog Loves! 🙂
Happy V Day, dude.
happy “consumer oriented let’s kill trees and waste paper on yet another Hallmark created holiday” Valentine’s.
Blah.
**right behind Belinda returning those stuffed animals**
I love the comments on this entry, especially Wench — nice one, lol. And I enjoyed looking back at your Valentine’s Day cards of old.
Dave, you are so awesomely special. I swear, I firmly believe that I could audition you off on eBay for a super large amount of money. Keep that in mind.
Much [platonic] love and hugs to you on this Valentine’s Day!
you can send all the stuffed animals to me, because I’m a sucker for them
Happy Valentine’s Day Dave and blogography readers!
I agree with not wanting to get stuffed animals and I’m a girl who appreciates romance. Point in fact if someone is asthmatic it’s not a good thing to get them. I would never buy a guy a stuffed animal, even flowers can be pushing it. Congratulations on yet another great cartoon and Valentine. It’s funny that I also will be curling up to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer on dvd tonight!
Is wrong to say I find the American Beauty card totally hott?
I’ll pack my bags and be there in about six hours.
You’re totally right, I don’t want Oklahoma blown up as I have lots of family here.
The American Beauty card is the best Valentine I’ve ever seen.
oh, bad monkey. is that why he’s bad? too many broken hearts? i’m glad to see his cynicism hasn’t totally rubbed off on ‘lil dave, though. someone’s gotta keep hope alive!
[note to self: return stuffed kristen bell doll]
OMG! IS THE STUFFED KRISTEN BELL LIFE-SIZED?!?
Because I would so totally love that.*
*Assuming she was anatomically correct, of course.
Naked Dave in the hearts is the best. 🙂
happy valentine’s day to you too!
Bad Monkey is my Hero.
Can Bad Monkey come hang out with me I need him to “assist” me, dealing with the Morons around me.
I swear I heard Bad Monkey say: “Luv THIS!” when I saw your first card.
Had to look up Valentine’s Day on Wikipedia – wow does it go way back! Really enjoyed this little snippet and had to share:
Using the language of the law courts for the rituals of courtly love, a “High Court of Love” was established in Paris on Valentine’s Day in 1400. The court dealt with love contracts, betrayals, and violence against women. Judges were selected by women on the basis of a poetry reading.
The earliest surviving valentine dates from 1415. It is a poem written by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his wife. At the time, the duke was being held in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt.
Love the card–thank you!!
Lela
Shoelaces, eh? Think she was warning you of an impending strangulation?
Oh, yeah…I think “Sweet Genius” shirts would TOTALLY sell. They could feature Lil’ Dave giving us that “How YOU doin’?” wink while solving a quadratic equation. Or something.
Happy Valentine’s Day – may you get the love you deserve all year round. Mwah!
i like this year’s card. i’ve felt like bad monkey many a day. it reminds me of my favorite t-shirt: “i wish love didn’t stink”. my second favorite is lil naked dave. he’s kinda cute 🙂
but i always have the best valentine’s day..it’s my birhtday! if it wasn’t, i would probably hate the day just as much as the next person.
I don’t think I’ve realized this before, but you’ve got quite a few hot Internet babes who love you … or at least the Internet image of you they’ve created in their minds.
A lesser man would take advantage of that. 😉
The exchange of valentines took place; AND the gifting of a stuffed animal but not for RW. No, a stuffed animal for me: a Boyd’s bear named Riesling Beardeaux (an RW gift if there ever was one). That’s why we’re still married after 29 years — he knows the way to my heart and still is able to surprise me.
The exchange of valentines took place; AND the gifting of a stuffed animal but not for RW. No, a stuffed animal for me: a Boyd’s bear named Riesling Beardeaux (an RW gift if there ever was one). That’s why we’re still married after 29 years — he knows the way to my heart and still is able to surprise me.
Back off Avi!
Valentine’s day, blar. Yay for Easter Candy! which is already in stock at Target. and i bought some.
I would, however, like to share with you the V-day “cards” i made last week…they would have been more relevant about 3 days ago, but whatever. They are on my Flickr page. Anyone out there who watches VM (through this season!) should enjoy them.