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Motherfrakker

Posted on Tuesday, November 7th, 2006

Dave!The Pacific Northwest has been slammed with torrential rains for the past several days. In my town, for example, one of the two major bridges into the city has been closed because the river is running so high. Seattle is getting hit even worse, and the TV news is replete with scary pictures. This made driving back from Seattle a bit of a challenge yesterday, because the rain made for low visibility and the water was pooling on the roadway. Hydroplaning at high speed sounds a lot more fun than it really is.

As usual, the worst part of the drive wasn't the weather.

It was the other drivers on the road.

The remainder of this entry is brought to you by the word FRAK.

So there I was exceeding the weather-mandated posted speed limit of 45 miles per hour (I was going 55). I was passing a car that kept speeding up and slowing down, and just wanted to get by. It was then that some asshole in a dark grey Lexus LX07 came zooming up on my ass... AND STARTED FLASHING HIS BRIGHTS AT ME! What the frak? This isn't the frakkin' Autobahn, motherfrakker! I was EXCEEDING the speed limit AND PASSING SOMEBODY you frakkin' dumbass! So you can take your flashing brights and shove them straight up your frakkin' ass. This idiot had better pray that I never contract some terminal disease, because I've memorized his license plate number and have added him to my List of People I Fully Intend on Hunting Down and Killing Before I Die.

Speaking of The List, we have yet another addition...

Daveraiders

Three-time Oscar nominee Frank Darabont, who was tapped to write Indiana Jones IV, has finally spilled the beans as to why we haven't yet seen the film... George Lucas didn't like his script. Apparently Steven Spielberg absolutely loved it (calling it the best draft he's read since the original Raiders), but Lucas nixed it.

Yes, the person whose last three films were the craptacular piles of shit known as Star Wars: Episodes 1, 2, & 3 has passed judgement over a script beloved by one of the greatest directors of all time AND the guy who wrote the screenplay adaptation for The Shawshank Redemption (not to mention having the experience of a bunch of Young Indiana Jones scripts under his belt).

Frakkin' unbelievable.

Which is pretty much how one could sum up the mid-term elections here in the USA. I wonder if somebody is getting the frakkin' message?

Sigh. It's raining again, which is kind of a bummer. Though I do like the sound of it on the roof as I fall asleep.


Categories: Movies 2006Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Kapha says:

    Sometimes people are too afraid to find out that once-and-for-all they just can’t do it best by themselves. That even though their ideas and basis for stories can be spectacular, the stories are best served by turning over the fleshing out of them to others.

    Sometimes people just can’t get past their ego.

  2. Are you sure the Lexus wasn’t driving itself? You know they can parallel park themselves now. Who’s to say that it hasn’t reached a higher level of consciousness and was just trying to get back to it’s parking space before the owner realized it was gone?

    Lucas is an idiot for not trusting Darabont. The man is incredibly talented. I’d watch just about anything he’d either written or directed. Besides, its getting to the point that Harrison Ford is going to have to trade in his whip for a walker, so they either need to fish or cut bait.

  3. Mooselet says:

    I feel your pain, Dave. What is it with people who are so frakkin’ impatient in their cars they can’t take a frakkin’ chill, especially in blinding torrential rain? I hope they drive off one of those dangerous bridges.

    Could you send us the rain over here in Australia? We’re dying in drought at the moment.

    And George Lucas should take his money and his ILM and shut the frak up!

  4. Roberta says:

    George Lucas should just stop.
    So should Tim Burton. just cut it out.
    Let’s see what Whedon does with Wonder Woman… we may have a winner.

  5. kilax says:

    George Lucas is a frustrating person. I believe he wrote the script for Episode III and I still cringe thinking about those lines. Hopefully Spielberg can convince him to change his mind.

  6. Avitable says:

    Maybe the dialogue was too intelligent and free flowing for Lucas.

  7. ms. sizzle says:

    the rain on the roof while sleeping is nice. it’s the other 16 hours of it that can really wear a person down. :)

  8. Rick says:

    Huh. It rains in the northwest. Occasionally, rivers overflow. People who live near the rivers are not surprised. Why is it news? (I used to BE a reporter and I still don’t understand it.)

  9. diane says:

    Dave, I think your penis is unhappy.

    ;)

  10. Laurence says:

    Oh, I thought that I was the only one to have really slept during the episode 1 of Star Wars. (Precision : I never, NEVER sleep during a movie. Episode 1 was my first and the last time.)

    I like too the sound of the rain as I fall asleep !!! :-) It is one of those little delectable moments of life… And what is life without those little delectable moments ?

  11. Richard says:

    After looking through the WSDOT website, there doesn’t seem to be a legal posting for wet pavement speed limits. Albeit I’m not arguing with you about idiots and the way Washingtonian’s cant drive in the rain…or snow….or sun…or wind for that matter. But let me know if you need any help hunting him down, I’m always up for a good lynchen’!

    Partly sunny, hi:54 lo:37, rain in the PM. Tomorrow – rain, Fri – rain, Sat – Showers, Sun – rain, Mon – SPRINKLES! Have a great day!

  12. Dave2 says:

    Kapha… We will probably never know the reason that Lucas didn’t care for the script. This just makes it all the more frustrating.

    Frances… Parallel parking is hard work! I wish my car had that feature! Truth to tell, I wish the guy HAD let the car do the driving… it couldn’t be any worse! Darabont is scary talented. He took The Green Mile which I thought was kind of boring, and made a beautiful film out of it. I hope that his script for Indy 4 leaks, because I’m dying to read it.

    Mooselet… Lucas makes more money off of Star Wars toys than anything else, which is probably why he didn’t care that the prequels sucked so much ass… they sold toys, and that’s all that matters. I’d gladly send some rain your way, but I can’t find a box big enough. :-(

    Roberta… Really? I kind of liked Big Fish and The Corpse Bride! And NOBODY is more looking forward to Wonder Woman in Whedon’s hands than me! :-D

    Kilax… The strange thing is that Lucas’ past movies are pretty smart. I have no idea what’s going on in his head now.

    Avitable… Or maybe it didn’t have enough toy marketing possibilities?

    Ms. Sizzle… Indeed. Today we finally have some sun, so it’s all good on my side of the mountains. :-)

    Rick… I think tragedy always makes the news because it sells. People like to look at other’s misfortunes and be glad it’s not them maybe??

    Diane… He wasn’t driving.

    Laurence… Once Jar Jar Binks walked on stage, I knew the movie was a walk. I don’t blame you for sleeping.

    Richard… The passes have “variable speed zones” where the speed limit is posted on electronic signs… there is no “interpreting” anything. It’s just like any other sign, and has to legally be obeyed. The fact that I was already exceeding the POSTED limit by 10 miles per hour makes his little “Autobahn” tirade laughable. I may take you up on that lynchin’!

  13. amanda says:

    Hey, at least congress is democratic now…we’ll have to wait and see if they have the balls to do anything.

  14. claire says:

    Lucas is a completely frakked up tool! Don’t shoot him though, make his death slow and painful.

    (And in the meantime, be careful driving in all that rain.)

  15. Mocha says:

    This is very wrong and bad of me, but as I was scrolling through the comments I, of course, couldn’t wait to see how you’d answer Diane concerning the penis in question.

    However, the one my eyes glazed over first was:
    “Or maybe it didn’t have enough toy marketing possibilities?”

    And I was thinking that could have applied as well.

    Two “Hail Marys” and an “Our Father” for me? Ok. I’ll go repent now.

  16. nancycle says:

    I feel your pain, two hours of highway driving today …. In the rain!

    I was thankful it wasn’t snow. I have that to look forward to*.

    *insert appropriate amount of sarcasm

  17. Dave2 says:

    I can’t even wrap my head around snow yet. We should be hit any day now… =sob!=

  18. “List of People I Fully Intend on Hunting Down and Killing Before I Die.”

    I’d love to make a list like that, but composing it would take WAY too freakin long.

  19. kapgar says:

    You didn’t know that about the Indy script? That leaked well over a year ago if not even two. Both Spielberg and Harrison Ford loved it. But no. Lucas, being the producer, said no. Frakker.

  20. Roberta says:

    (Okay, I didn’t see either of those. I hit bottom at Sleepy Hollow, passed on Apes, and sucked it up for Charlie and the blah blah blah… which I did not care for, but Depp is so damned compelling.)
    (I am a total Stainboy fan though, so perhaps I should not entirely write him off.)

  21. Eve says:

    George Lucas has got to be senile. Spielberg mentioned a few months ago that he loved the Frank Darabont script for Indy 4, but that Lucas didn’t like it, so out went that script. Lucas, Spielberg, AND Harrison Ford have script approval rights, so if one of them doesn’t like a script, then that’s it. This is the first time that Darabont has spoken out about it.

    Since you are compiling that list of people to hunt down and kill, can I give you someone to put on that list for me? You know, since you’re got one started already.

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