I read a lot of blogs... according to my feed reader, there's 326 of them. You'd think in all those blogs I'd run into other people who have to deal with the freaky crap I seem to get on a regular basis. You'd be wrong.
Take this morning for instance. The first thing I do each day is grab my laptop and check my email. Much to my surprise, there were around thirty messages from people with subject lines like "TMX Elmo HELP PLS!!" and "want to buy TMX" and "NEED 2 ELMO NOW!"—a further check of my spam filter turned up another dozen or so. "WTF?" I said to myself.
Silly me, I had no idea that there is a ten-year anniversary release of that annoying "Tickle Me Elmo" doll from a decade ago. Apparently, just like the first time, these things are in short supply, and people are going ape-shit trying to find one to buy...
After reading through a few messages, I figured out that somebody had accidentally used an email address from one of my unused domains to try and sell a batch of Elmos. Not knowing what else to do, I wrote a script to automatically reply to any mail I got saying that the guy made a mistake with the address and I don't have any Elmos. Then the message is deleted and I'm not bothered.
Fast forward to this afternoon and I get an email from the guy who placed the ad. He tracked me down by doing a WHOIS domain search, apologizes for the mistake, then asks me to please forward any emails I had received. I write back and explain that the emails are automatically deleted, and I'm sorry I can't do anything to help.
So what does the guy do? He places another ad blaming me for deleting emails that were his "personal property," tells everybody they have to send another email, and then posts my actual email address so people can send complaints!
AND THEY DO!!
Not many people, but enough to piss me off.
How is any of this my fault? At least I was nice enough to tell people about the mistake. I could have just deleted the emails and said nothing! It takes all my will-power not to write back to these morons and tell them to kiss my ass. If I DID have a stupid Elmo TMX doll, I'd put a video of me tearing into it with a chain-saw on YouTube and send them the URL...
Bitter much? Yes. Yes I am. Any time some dumbass decides to post my email address and then invite people to send me complaints, I get a little upset. I'd return the favor, but he did remove it after I asked him to, so I'd rather just let it go.
I should come up with a "Tickle Me Lil' Dave" that pisses on you when you try to tickle him. I'd sell millions.
I love comments! However, all comments are moderated, and won't appear until approved. Are you an abusive troll with nothing to contribute? Don't bother. Selling something? Don't bother. Spam linking? Don't bother.
Oh bad monkey wants you go post THIS assjackeets email address so bad Snackie can send him a tickle me, 14 incher ;).
I am convinced that eventually, the entire internet circles back to you. You are the Kevin Bacon of Degrees of Internet Separation. Truly.
I wanna Tickle Me Lil’ Dave!! Pleeeeease?!?!!?!
$20 says the Elmo’s are fakes and you are actually doing these dumb-asses a favour.
Elmo freaks me out. At least they weren’t looking for Boooooobaaaaah. *shudder*
mmmmmmm tickle me dave… I’d buy one… hehehhehh 😉
what a tosser 🙂
I almost wish I hadn’t given mine away about 5 years ago now. I could then send it to you for the video purposes. “Elmo loves you” “Does Elmo love this chainsaw?”
You should have just collected credit card numbers and billing addresses and had a field day, then moved to Bermuda.
all this fuss over some man-made fibers, cotton, red dye, plastic, a sound box, and a vibrator.
here’s to wishing for the youtube video…
but, my mother did get me one 10 years ago for fun.
Hilly… Bad Monkey is totally a bad influence.
Belinda… That has got to be the scariest thing I’ve heard all say! 🙂
Sheila… If you can raise a couple hundred thousand in investment capital, I’m pretty sure we can make it happen! 😀
Mooselet… Hey, if that’s true, then these people should be sending me $20!!
Kentucky Girl… Tickle-Me-Boobah? Well that will be giving me nightmares for a week.
Kazza… Holy crap! I hope that means something different in Australia than it does here!
Bec… The TMX version is selling for major bank on eBay. I don’t think want to annoy people quite that bad! 🙂
Avitable… Wait… isn’t Bermuda still in hurricane season now? What exactly are you saying here??
Kathleen… Everybody had an Elmo but me. I never realized how deprived I was until today. =sob!=
Being that I don’t have kids, I don’t understand the TMX portion of the Elmo animal. I’m guessing it means Tickle Me X. It sounds like the next Terminator movie.
Elmo has to be one of the most annoying characters outside of Jarjar Binks.
I hope those people eventually get their Elmo dolls, they friggin’ deserve it because IT’S ANNOYING AS HELL JUST LIKE THEM!
Wow. That guy really deserves to be punched. In the balls.
I didn’t know Elmo. But I’m apparently lucky !
I always love your way Lil’ Dave kills !!! 😀
Yeah, the idea of “The Texas chainsaw massacre” is great !
Ticle Me Elmo is the work of Satan himself.
oh my GOD, how are emails that come to YOUR domain HIS personal property anyway? what a jerk.
I know this must of sucked for you, but the story is SERIOUSLY funny. The doll is actually pretty cool too – if you had a batch you could make some nice dough.
You’ve probably already seen this, but is this the real reason they wanted the elmo’s?