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Minted

Posted on Saturday, August 12th, 2006

Dave!I'm minty fresh!

One of my most favorite internet phenomena would have to be Where The Hell Is Matt... a guy who got famous for traveling around the world, dancing in exotic locations, and filming it so he could turn his trips into an amazing video. It ended up being such a big hit that the people at Stride Gum decided to sponsor a second world tour so Matt could dance in all new places. This resulted in yet another sweet video, and gave me a scorching desire to support Stride Gum because they were so cool to do this.

So I bought a pack of Peppermint Stride. It's pretty tasty gum and, just like it advertises, the flavor lasts a really long time.

But it reeks.

This tiny pack of gum has a massive stench that infects everything which comes in contact with it.

Yesterday I put it in my backpack which has now been permanently infused with essence of peppermint. It smells like a tube of toothpaste exploded inside. I thought it might be the confined space, so I tossed the gum on my night-stand. Turns out that the minty odor is so strong that it woke me up in the middle of the night! Now my nostrils are burning and my entire apartment smells like somebody farted a pack of breath-mints while drinking mojitos and then tried to cover it up by smashing candy canes into the carpet. It's like a frickin' mint julep jungle in here...

Dave Mint

I've since got the gum DOUBLE-SEALED in a plastic baggie. From now on, whenever I want to chew a piece, I'll go outside to open it so as not to completely kill my sense of smell...

Dave Stride Gum

I now worry that I won't get my cleaning deposit back because it will take a team of those meth-lab detox workers to disinfect my apartment. They're going to have to rip up the carpet, strip the paint off the walls, and replace all the curtains. They may even have to tear out the doors, because I'm pretty sure the mint smell has soaked into the wood.

All things considered, I've come to the conclusion that Stride's flavor doesn't actually last longer than regular gum... the persistent smell just makes you think it does. I read somewhere that 90% of taste is actually attributed to smell, so the big secret mystery of this miracle gum has been solved! I could chew a pencil eraser right now and it would taste like a fresh piece of Stride.

I'm going to go shove a couple of coffee beans up my nose to mask the mint odor so I can get back to sleep.

Now you know I'm desperate, because I don't even like coffee.


Categories: DaveLife 2006, DaveToons 2006Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Mooselet says:

    We used to use Peppermint Oil in the hospital to get rid of the smells that certain patients emitted, but it sounds like all we needed was this stuff. If you ever have a head cold, just break out your gum and you’ll be breathing easy in no time!

  2. Laurence says:

    True. 90 % of taste is actually attributed to smell.
    There is an another factor :
    When subjects led to believe that a highly aversive bitter taste would be less distasteful than it actually was, they reported it to be less aversive than when they had accurate information about the taste. (Source : J. Nitschke and al.)
    http://psyphz.psych.wisc.edu/web/pubs/2006/altering_expectancy.pdf
    It is not a question of self-persuasion.
    If someone sing flavor’s praises, the taste is really detected like that.

    Oh, I don’t like coffee too. Sorry Mocha Momma… :-)

  3. Anthony says:

    LOL, classic Dave, classic. :)

  4. Bre says:

    I do love those videos, though (apparently luckily!) I’ve never seen the gum for sale. It’s a shame you can’t febreeze your mouth!

  5. Jeff says:

    So… this IS an endorsement? Or NOT an endorsement?

    Either way, I just call it FUNNY!

  6. Kyra says:

    Hey, it’s better than the stench of cows waking you in the middle of the night! Trust me, there are far worse things than peppermint! ;)

    (um, that would be from cows across in the fields… not in my house….)

  7. adena says:

    Mmmmm……peppppppermiiiiiiint! :)

  8. Dustin says:

    You mean I don’t have to chew up 23 Altoids anymore to induce the minty hallucinations I’m come to depend on to get me through the day? The Gods be praised!

  9. RW says:

    That sounds toxic!

    I like to eat Altoid’s Raspberry Sours until the roof of my mouth is burned off.

  10. adena says:

    Hey! I just had a BRILLIANT idea! All you have to do is drink a bottle of rum…straight, and I bet it would taste like a Mojito!!

    Mmmmm…..mojiiiiitos!

  11. jodi says:

    it could be much worse. at least it’s something pleasant. and not anything like…. poop flavored gum.

  12. EDDIE says:

    ID Juicy Lube has Cool Mint flavored water based lubricating gel.
    If mint is not your flavor, they also have Big Banana,Bubblegum Blast, Wet & Wild Cherry, Passion Fruit, Luscious Watermelon, Fresh Peach, Pina Colada, Chocolate Rasberry, Strawberry Kiwi.
    It won’t stain and contains no sugwr.

  13. Troy says:

    Great video – I loved the first one. Though while I was watching it I kept thinking “Bastard – why isn’t that me!”. :)

  14. Jun says:

    Everlasting taste happened to me once. Could get burned BBQ sauce taste (Lays BBQ Chicken stylee) out of my mouth for days. It wasn’t coffee beans for me though, I attempted chalk.

  15. Cat says:

    Hey, that sounds like a new Febreeze scent they should look into…

  16. Avitable says:

    That sounds awesome. I think I want to buy some of that now.

  17. Chanakin says:

    You have a new character – “Haz-Mat Dave”.

  18. Kevin says:

    I’ve never heard of Stride. Is this a west coast thing? I know Stride Rite. Does that count?

  19. Eve says:

    I don’t see the monkey complaining.

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