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Posted on Monday, August 14th, 2006

Dave!It was a very long day.

At the end of it all... once I finally had time to eat... I decided that all I wanted was to go to IHOP (International House of Pancakes). They've been running commercials for weeks advertising their new "fruit-topped funnel cakes," and I have been keen to try them. Unfortunately, there is no IHOP where I live, so here was my chance (Spokane has three of them).

How can you resist something that looks as good as this...


Yeah, it tastes just as amazing as it looks (thought I had blueberries on top instead of strawberries). And so now I know what the perfect breakfast is:

  • Two eggs, over medium.
  • Two slices of sourdough toast.
  • Crispy hashbrowns with cheddar cheese fried into them (50¢ extra).
  • Afore-mentioned blueberry-topped funnel cakes.
  • A glass of skim milk.

It's a lot of food but, since I hadn't eaten all day, I was able to eat most of it.

And now I am back in my hotel room watching a documentary on the ritualistic circumcision celebrations of tribes in Vanuatu. It is all at once horrifying and fascinating. Of particular interest is that the parents of the child being circumcised can only drink coconut milk during the seven-week healing period after. Not only that, but women are not allowed to witness the ritual, nor are they allowed to see those having been circumcised until after they have healed. This causes quite a bit of stress on the poor mothers, but everybody gets together to dance, sing, and kill pigs at the end, so I guess it's all good.

Well, except for the pigs, of course. Not a good day to be a pig.

Categories: Food 2006Click To It: Permalink


  1. James says:

    I’ve noticed it’s never been good to be a pig. mmm..bacon..

    On a different note, I just got home from Pulse. As a movie attempting to be scary, it failed miserably. As a movie trying to showcase your delightful Kristen Bell, I’d say it succeeded. Yum. I might have to go buy a Veronica Mars season now.

  2. LarryB says:

    Do the parents get to eat anything with the coconut milk?

    BTW, the coconut milk diet sounds about as healthful as your dinner. I’ve been recently re-programmed to look at that as death-on-a-plate, but I will still make room for the occasional meal full of random fatty meat products, so I certainly can’t stand in judgement of your food choices. Still, pizza one day, funnel cakes the next. Tomrrow, grilled three-cheese sandwiches, side of fries and an ice cream float? (Mmmm, ice cream floats! That’s a fatty meal I’d eat. And then spend the next 48 hours on the stairmill.)

    BTW, love the tags. It’s not every day a post shares the tags “IHOP” and “circumsision”.

  3. Mooselet says:

    Oh. My. That IHOP looks so good I could kill someone to get some. Sadly, no one can bring any back for me. I’m very jealous of you right now Dave.

    The Pacific Island nations have some very weird rituals.

  4. Kapha says:

    Yeah, real coconut (i.e. not processed, hydrogenated, etc.) is actually extremely healthy – even the oil – but it’s pretty hard to find.

    Still… It’s gonna be awhile before I look at an IHOP ad without – however faintly – associating it with circumcision… Aieeeee!

    Wonder what they’d think about the “beer bong paddle fest” college ritual? Probably think we’re beyond nuts. And of course they’d be right. 😉

    James: Try not to think about Kristen Bell wearing nothing but a Funnel Cake Carnival and giving you the “come hither” look… I dare you!

  5. Mmmmm….those look tasty. Sure beats my dinner of french style green beans and peas. lol Yeah. Hrmph.

    For me: Pigs=Bacon=Good. I wonder what part bacon comes from on the pig..meh, whatever.

  6. serap says:

    Oh my god… that does look very yummy! I’ve been to an IHOP, but I had no idea what it stood for! It was somewhere near San Francisco and we were so tired from driving all day, that we stopped there and were very impressed with the copious amounts of yummy unhealthy food on offer. It was the first time I actually saw someone eating bacon and pancakes with syrup… me and boyf were like ‘wow… Americans really ARE weird!’. I also remember that is was OAP nights on Tuesdays at this particular IHOP – unfortunately we were there on a Thursday. Damn.

  7. I remember a few years ago when we had no IHOPs in OKC. We would make a special point of stopping at one in Denton, Texas every time we took a road trip to Dallas, no matter how late it was. I now have one right down the street and haven’t been in more than a year.
    That funnel cake looks mighty tempting though…

  8. EDDIE says:

    Watching circumcision celebrations? I’ve heard they have circumcision for girls. Is it true?
    Oh, if you need fresh coconut, ask me we have plenty here.

  9. Laurence says:

    OH, I want to taste this “fruit-topped-funnel-cake” with stawberries and especially with strawberries… RIGHT NOW !!!

    Even if you don’t want to know my perfect breakfast, I will tell you it 🙂
    – a hot bowl of skim milk with drinking chocolate
    – 2 “croissants au beurre” with butter
    – Strawberries jam.
    – And my little pleasure : “Faire trempette” = To dunk croissants in my milk…

    Concerning the documentary… Ah… You have noticed too… All that is horrifying is fascinating at the same time… We don’t want to watch but we watch it nevertheless…

  10. delmer says:

    Could you get funnel cakes with cherrys on top? Maybe that would be the thing to bring you around to being a cherry lover.

    My oldest picked up a coconut at the local Kroger the other day. Somehow he knew the eye was the soft spot and was able to get to the milk without a lot of banging and bashing with a hammer.

  11. Lynn says:

    Have you seen the episode where the tribe in Vanuatu builds the tower and bungees off different levels, depending on their age and social standing. Amazing, really.

  12. pookalu says:

    i’m so glad i’m eating breakfast right now when i read this. although my cherries are tasty, there’s NOTHING like funnel cake. yummmm…

  13. Jeff says:

    I love IHOP. I’ve never ONCE left there hungry. Never.

  14. Eve says:

    Oh how I miss funnel cakes. They’re not really all that popular around here. I’m in an Italian neighborhood, so when we want fried dough, we get Zeppoli, but it’s pretty much the same as funnel cake.

    And I can’t believe you ate all that food. Your next entry better be about how you can’t get your pants buttoned. Seriously, if you don’t start gaining weight from all this, I’m going to be really really jealous of you!

  15. Mist 1 says:

    Since when did funnelcakes become breakfast? I suppose corndogs and onion rings and other carnival-food items are now also appropriate for breakfast.


  16. Pauly D says:

    Dude. A glass of SKIM MILK?

    Talk about “what does not belong” in a Sesame Street kind of way, after all those eggs and sugar and carbs, the least you could do is drink a 12 oz. glass of cream or full milk or something.

    But skim milk? Nu uh.

  17. exposed says:

    babe you have no idea what you are talking about – the perfect breakfast is either a. waffle house 2 egs over med. with rasin toast, apple butter, hash browns and grits. (ihop is great n’ all, but waffle house puts thdem to shame) OR b. veggie eggs beni from first watch with potatos on the side and peach n’ pepper sauce.
    or south city diner…
    or uncle bills diner…

    ok i must go get brekafast now.

  18. Sometimes the technorati tags make the entire post.

    For example: Funnel Cakes, Breakfast, Circumcision, Food, IHOP

    Now that’s some shit right there.

  19. sultana says:

    When I was pregnant, I had major cravings for coconut. I used to send my husband on runs for coconut water imported from Thailand!

  20. kilax says:

    I am still trying to finish eating SJ’s Kickass Salsa Cruda… I can’t even begin to think about breakfast foods!

  21. Troy says:

    The next time I’m in the states I’ll have to hunt down an IHOP. Them funnel cakes look Sooooweet!

  22. jodi says:

    oh i do love the IHOP. my favorite is the german pancakes with the lemon butter. mmmmm…

  23. ChillyWilly says:

    I grew up going to IHOP in Southern Calif. Now we have them here in Utah (they are quite abundant and have pushed most of the locally-owned Dee’s out of business).

    I’ve tried a few of their fancy fruit breakfast meals (not the one you show above, though) and while they are good (Rooty Tooty is great), I’ve always gone back for their pancakes with boysenberry syrup. YUM!

  24. Mikey says:

    Seeing that funnel cake made me home sick dude.

  25. Plunky(Deb) says:

    Ohhhh! I have been wondering about those! Thank you for being my guinea pig! Of course, if it sucks, I am going to have to come up there with my ironing board…

  26. Avitable says:

    Not a good day to be a coconut, either?

    IHOP scares me. I used to love it in school, but now I’m frightened of it.

  27. sandra says:

    Do you think that makes men like coconut milk more or less?

  28. RW says:

    My wife loves IHOP. I am suspicious of everything in it. It may lead to a divorce. We can’t be certain…

  29. Mrs. K says:

    Since we’re having carnival food for breakfast now…what about deep fried Snicker’s Bar? Now that’s a heart attack waiting to happen!

  30. Charred says:

    Em and I went to the IHOP every morning (1150 is still the morning) while we were on our honeymoon because they were doing their international pancake festival thing. They serve some decent grub there.

    RE: the pigs

    Am I the only one who thought of Lord of the Flies?

  31. Chanakin says:

    If you’ve not heard Lewis Black’s bit on IHOP from his “White Album” CD, I strongly urge you to check it out.

  32. Mrs RW says:

    Yummm…International Passport Breakfast (2 soft-scrambled eggs, 4 bacon pieces, french pancakes (with marmalade)and a WHOLE pitcher of fresh coffee all for myself! re: RW: what do you expect from someone who eats kangaroo and ostrich?

  33. oh my god, that looks so good. too bad we don’t have IHOPs in my podunk piece of shit town.

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