Blogography Logo
spacer

  Home  

Gamer

Posted on Tuesday, August 1st, 2006

Dave!Driving over to Seattle is a two-and-one-half-hour endeavor that I have done so many times that I barely notice it anymore. One minute I'm leaving my driveway, and the next I am pulling into the city... everything that happens in-beween is nothing more than a blur. About the only thing I usually remember are the dumbass drivers that piss me off, but today I didn't even remember much of that. For some reason this time was like the trip wasn't even real. Like a video game perhaps.

And that got me thinking about how cool my life would be if it were a video game all the time.

It would probably start off with Elizabeth Hurley appearing before me in a cloud and giving me some kind of quest to complete...

DaveQuest

Then, like most adventure games, I'd be dumped in the middle of a forest with only my monkey companion to keep me company...

DaveQuest

But eventually I'd slay a bunch of monsters and find treasure so I could upgrade to a Pirate Warrior...

DaveQuest

And then I could battle big-ass boss monsters like Jared the Subway Sandwich Whore...

DaveQuest

Then I'd become King of the World and marry Princess Elizabeth...

DaveQuest

Yeah, my life as a video game would kick ass!


Categories: DaveLife 2006, DaveToons 2006Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. adena says:

    I didn’t know that Pirate Warriors wore black tee-shirts and trench coats.

    Hmm…learn something new everyday.

  2. Dave2 says:

    Nah, I got upgraded again to The One from “The Matrix”.

  3. adena says:

    Ah, but see? In keeping w/ the whole “fantasy life” video game, you should not have become KING David at the end of the game, but rather…SUPERMAN!

  4. adena says:

    P.S.

    As Superman, of course you would still be ruler of the world.

  5. adena says:

    P.P.S.

    AND still married to Liz Hurley. :)

  6. Belinda says:

    What is this, the Adena Comment Show? ;-)

    But, if you were a video game? I would totally play you.

  7. Chanakin says:

    Shouldn’t that be “all your monkey are belong to us”?

    I know… I used the punctuation mark outside the quotes….

  8. EDDIE says:

    Are we going to see some kids from King of the World and Princess Elizabeth in the future?
    What would be fair for their children…having Princess’s look and King of the World’s brain?
    ( I do not mean King is not handsome.)

  9. Avitable says:

    It’s “are belong to us” not “belong to us”. Dude, you just lost some geek cred!

    I’d rather live in a video game like GTA: Vice City.

  10. Dave2 says:

    Okay… OKAY!!

    I needed to eliminate a word so that I would have the right number of spaces for Liz’s mouth. Who knew that my audience was geeky enough to get the reference? I guess I should have known.

    Anyway, I restored it to the original version. I don’t think the mouth movements are as good, but heaven only knows I don’t want to lose any geek cred!

  11. Mikey says:

    I used to work for subway. Thanks for blowing up Jared’s ass. ROFLMFAO

  12. Laurence says:

    Hum, very good score :
    Level : 72
    Strength : 820
    Intelligence : 999
    Charisma : 986
    Health : 765

    However, I will add some :
    Modesty : 12
    :-D

  13. Bre says:

    Hmm… what video game platform would it use? The original NES is the peak of my video game experience….

  14. Eve says:

    I hope your game works on whatever game system I still have that runs Ms. Pac-Man. And your geek cred is safe with me, there’s nothing you can do to tarnish it in my eyes.

  15. annette says:

    Ohh my imagination is running wild on the type of video game I’d like to live in… only I’d be the undefeated boss and no one would ever win and I’d CONTINUE to rule the world…

    Oh wait. I don’t need a video game to live that ;)

    I guess my modesty points would be zero huh?

  16. Karl says:

    Bre, it has to be original NES, based on the pixellation levels. Rockin’ game. I’d be powerin’ up like a bad monkey mofo.

  17. sultana says:

    I think that it’s only right to give video game Dave a banana when he’s stranded with his monkey in the forest ;)

  18. Dave2 says:

    Mikey… There is absolutely no question in my mind that this world would be a better place without those dumbass Jared Fogle Subway ads. DIE JARED! DIIIIIEEE!

    Laurence…. Yes, on a scale of 1 to 999, I dare say that my modesty would indeed be around a 12… or maybe an 8 even. :-) P.S. Where did you get that beautiful Gravatar! Very nice!!

    Bre… XBOX 360, baby!

    Eve… I’ll have to ask about backwards-compatibility but, given the awesome scope of this game and the killer graphics, I’m not sure it will run on anything less than the XBOX 360! Perhaps PlayStation 2, but that would really be pressing it. :-D

    Annette… The game is fairly easy to play because Dave and Bad Monkey are totally invincible!! You just have to be smart enough to put the puzzles together. :-)

    Karl… I can see where you might think that these are NES screens… but these are XBOX 360 screen caps all the way!

    Sultana… To get the ultra-banana that makes Bad Monkey turn into ULTRA BAD MONKEY so he can go all King Kong on people’s asses, you have to follow the Raging River rapids to Scary Jungle and climb the magic tree with the Coke with Lime logo carved into it. :-)

  19. Wow, I guess I’ll have to upgrade from my old Atari system…

    Please tell me the entire soundtrack is done by Depeche Mode. That would make the game perfect!
    :-)

  20. Mia says:

    That should be your next addition to the duck store…I would so play that game while wearing my monkey shirt. That’s Money.

  21. Chase says:

    Oh Dave, how I love thee. If Elizabeth didn’t have your heart (and your pants), I’d try to steal it (them both).

  22. Epona says:

    If I lived in a video game, I would live in The Sims. It’s so different from real life, you know?

    Just kidding. Like Avitable, the video game world I would live in would be Grand Theft Auto. In my opinion, best games EVER (with Vice City #1).

Add a Comment

Blankatar!

   
I love comments! However, all comments are moderated, and won't appear until approved. Are you an abusive troll with nothing to contribute? Don't bother. Selling something? Don't bother. Spam linking? Don't bother.
PLEASE NOTE: My comment-spam protection requires JavaScript... if you have it turned off or are using a mobile device without JavaScript, commenting won't work. Sorry.




   


   


   
   
   
Your personal information is optional. Email addresses are never shown, and are only used by me if a public reply would be too personal or inappropriate here. The URL link to your web site or blog will be provided, so only fill this in if you want people to visit!



   

  Home  

spacer
Welcome:
Blogography is a place to learn and grow by exposing yourself to the mind of David Simmer II, a brilliant commentator on world events and popular culture (or so he claims).
Dave FAQ:
Frequently Asked Questions
Dave Flickr Gallery:
Dave Contact:
dave@blogography.com
Blogography Webfeeds:
Entries Feed
Comments Feed
Dave Social:
Blogography Tumblr
Blogography Instagram
Blogography on Pinterest
translate me
lost & found
Search Blogography:
thrice fiction
Thrice Fiction Magazine - March, 2011 - THE END
I'm co-founder of Thrice Fiction magazine. Come check us out!
free iphone app
Ask Dave iPhone App
Put Dave in your pocket with this FREE app for iPhone and iPod Touch. All life's answers await you with the Ask Dave app!
hard rock moment
Visit DaveCafe for my Hard Rock Cafe travel journal!
travel picto-gram
Visit my travel map to see where I have been in this world!
badgemania
Blogography Badge
Atom Syndicate Badge
Comments Syndicate Badge
Apple Safari Badge
Pirate's Booty Badge
Macintosh Badge
license
All content copyright ©2003-2017
by David Simmer II
   
Creative Commons License
This weblog is licensed under
a Creative Commons License.
ssl security
Comodo SSL