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Posted on Monday, July 31st, 2006

Dave!I have an exceedingly low tolerance for "stupid."

This results in an ever-increasing loathing of stupid people. And I am not saying this to demean anybody who was not blessed with my staggering genius-level intelligence, because there's a huge difference between having below-average brain-power and being just plain stupid. The frightening part is that stupid people can only really attract other stupid people, which results in them mating and breeding new generations of even more dumbasses.

And, given their increasing numbers, I can only suspect that stupidity is the dominant gene.

This does not bode well for humanity.

Because if stupidity truly is the dominant gene, this means that the stupidest person in the breeding will be the one to pass along their intelligence (or lack thereof) to any offspring. The end result is that the human race as a whole will just continue to get more and more stupid.

Dumbasses will inherit the earth.

I mean, look around you. We've got idiots providing our entertainment and news. Morons in political office. Imbeciles roaming the streets. It's dumbasses everywhere you look. We're well on our way already, and I didn't realize it until this morning. That's because I had encountered no less than a dozen totally stupid people by the time I arrived at work. This doesn't even include the dozen more I'd seen in the internet news before I even got out of bed (Mel Gibson? Who knew?). I live in fear that the dumbasses will outnumber the rest of us in my lifetime.

Drastic measures are needed.

Forget stem cell research... locating the gene that causes stupidity should be our top priority.


As if to prove my point, I've just arrived at my Seattle hotel to witness outrageous stupidity on an entirely new level. Traffic wasn't bad, so I arrived early and have to wait 30 minutes for my room to be ready. This doesn't bother me because the lobby has free wireless so I can check my email and catch up. What DOES bother me is that there is a woman holding some kind of sales pitch for a vitamin supplement. That, in itself is annoying, but it's even worse because she brought her kid. Her whining, screaming, hellion of a kid. And because she's giving some kind of speech, she's just letting the little bastard crawl around the lobby screaming at people, knocking over trash cans, banging on tables, throwing the television remote, and whatever other outlandish crap he can manage. What kind of stupid bitch lets their kid go apeshit in a hotel lobby like this? Anyway, the little demon eventually makes his way over to my table and knocks a chair over. Not willing to put up with this shit, I say (loudly) "STOP DOING THAT!!" This alarms the moronic mother, so she comes dashing over like a drama queen and grabs her kid. This causes the kid to scream. And scream. And scream. She then decided to holler my way "I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!"

To which I reply "Happy that you finally decided to watch your kid? Yes, I'm THRILLED." This results in her insulting me while she speaks to her little group, but I don't care.

The poor kid doesn't have a chance, does he?

Categories: DaveLife 2006Click To It: Permalink


  1. sheryl says:

    People should be required to take a basic intelligence test before being allowed to procreate. Unfortunately, multiplying is easier than basic math.

  2. RW says:

    What’s really stupid are people who just realized this this morning.

    (insert eye roll)

  3. Dave2 says:

    Not really… I mean, it’s not as though I just this morning discovered that stupid people EXIST… it’s that I discovered that they are GROWING IN NUMBERS AND WILL SOON EXCEED “NORMAL” PEOPLE! ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. adena says:

    Wow. What happened to YOU today??

  5. Dave2 says:

    I ran into entirely too many stupid people in entirely too short of a time span!

  6. I truly believe stupidity is a virus, not a gene. How else to explain its sudden pervasiveness?

    We should put all our efforts behind a vaccine. I mean, this generation is lost, so lets look at preventing stupidity, rather than curing those who already have it.

  7. Dave2 says:

    Yikes! Or maybe it’s BOTH!

    Abandon all hope…

  8. SJ says:

    Geez, I hope you’re not venting about any of US! Well, obviously not ME, but any of THEM.

  9. marie b. says:

    Asshats abound. For some reason, there seems to be a lot more of them lately.

    (Also, apropos of nothing, it seems that your darling’s wedding is indeed on.)

  10. EDDIE says:

    I think this country has lots of education problems. Bad school systems all over the country also.

    Meanwhile, I was thinking you and you bloggers are pretty smart people. Why don’t you guys donate(or put it on eBay) sperm or eggs?

  11. Laurence says:

    Dave, there are good days and bad days. What is a bad day ? A bad day is when most of people whom I meet does not improve on acquaintance. Frederic Dard wrote on stupid and stupidity
    Sorry, I don’t find english web site. I will try to translate but it is not easy… So, sorry again for my grammar and mistakes…

    “Un con” = a stupid person – “La connerie” = stupidity
    – All a “con” think, say and do is stupid.
    – When “cons” hold forth at the restaurant, I console myself with thinking that I could have them to lunch or dinner.
    – A “con” is delightful as long as he keeps silent.

    Frederic Dard wrote on intelligence too :
    – Intelligence is to control servility in order to be receptive.
    – Intelligence is tolerance. It must revolt against “connerie” when “connerie” will become tyrannical, repressive, restricting.
    – Intelligence is to look at, listen to, touch, breath in, savor the world while trying to refine its senses to have a delicate perception of it.

    I hope that you understand. I did the best I could…

  12. delmer says:

    Mel Gibson blew 0.12. I am not defending driving while intoxicated, however, when I was in my early 20’s I had the opportunity to take a brethalyzer. I blew, I think, 0.16 … at the time 0.1 was legal.

    I remember standing in front of the judge and having him ask my attorney what I weighed. When told, the judge suggested that 0.16 was ‘not bad’ for a guy my weight. Still, he felt the need to provide overnight accomodations for me at the county’s expense — for three nights.

    But … as the arresting officer had made some nice comments about me in his report … I was able to spread my three nights out over three weekends. That is, it wasn’t 72-hours of incarceration.

    I know what you’re thinking: Don’t you lose pool and sauna priviledges on stays shorter than 25 hours at a time.

    Yes you do. But that didn’t seem important at the time.

    The point is, I read that Mel was “extremely drunk.” It wasn’t too terribly long ago, the 0.1 era, that he would have been barely over the limit.

    By today’s standards I was twice over the limit. And I was pleasant enough during the arrest that the officer made it a point to make sure the judge knew what a delight it was to have me in his car.

    I know we all handle alcohol differently. Still, I wouldn’t call 0.12 extremely drunk and offer it as an excuse for rude behavior (as if ‘rude’ was a strong enough descriptor).

    It looks like Mel has come out with an apology rather than a lawsuit against Malibu. That’s good, I guess.

    I’m a little put off that his daddy is a Holocaust Denier. If changing history was as simple as just denying things we didn’t want to believe I would have had Dubya out of office a term and a half ago.

    Mel, in my book, is still not as nutty as Tom Cruise. And, his booking photo is much nicer than Nick Nolte’s.

  13. Dave2 says:

    SJ… Well, not YOU… but definitely the moron who decided to leave obscene comments on a half-dozen entries Monday morning. ๐Ÿ™

    Marie B… Hah! Vanity Fair?!? I’ll believe that Liz is really getting married when I read it in a respectable news source… like “The National Enquirer” or “Hello Magazine”!

    Eddie… Unfortunately, I don’t think that all the schooling in the world can make a truly stupid person be less of a dumbass. I wonder if genius people, such as myself, are allowed to sell their genetic -ahem- “material” on eBay?

    Laurence… Monsieur Dard is a far more patient and understanding man that I am! Because when I am driving behind somebody who is going 15 miles per hour in a 35 mile per hour zone, I am anything BUT tolerant, receptive, understanding, or delighted! ๐Ÿ™‚ But then again…

    Delmer… Different people have different tolerances to alcohol. If a .12 is enough to make Mel Gibson drive erratically while doing 80mph in a 45 zone, AND call an officer of the law “sugar tits” – then it’s best he be locked up before he kills somebody. Maybe it wasn’t the alcohol and Mel simply IS crazy… or maybe his blood alcohol was much, much higher and they’re covering it up… I don’t know. But, as somebody who has known THREE people killed by drunk drivers, I don’t have much sympathy for his behavior no matter how much he was (or wasn’t) influenced by alcohol. The fact that alcohol was a self-admitted contributing factor to his actions is enough. ๐Ÿ™

  14. adena says:

    “sugar tits”?? Really?

    I think if anyone I knew called a cop “sugar tits”, we’d have another Rodney King situation in Suburban Oregon….

  15. James says:

    Stupid people are why I like to stay home rather than travel, even if it’s to go shop at Wal-mart. Because stupidity seems to gather in large numbers at Wal-mart.

    Of course, it’s not entirely possible to avoid it even staying at home, since I play Counter-Strike, which sadly is another location stupidity seems to gather. Why would you shoot your own teamate!? And blind your fellow teamates with flashbang grenades!? WHY WHY WHY!??

  16. adena says:

    You seem to have a lot of bad luck w/ people and their Damien-seed children.

    You must have some sort of brat-dar.

    And remind me not to take that vitamin. Did you catch what it was?

  17. Laurence says:

    A ce niveau, tu veux un conseil, Dave ?
    Ne parles pas aux “cons”, รงa les instruit ! (=Do not speak with stupid, that informs them !)
    Have a good day…

  18. Deb_LA says:

    I agree completely. I think this is a WAY bigger crisis than global warming. Where is Al Gore’s Power Point presentation on the spread of stupidity???

  19. sultana says:

    Let’s see, I have an IQ of 135 and my husband’s is 138. We just had one baby, so if your theory holds weight, we’re doing our part to make the world a smarter place ๐Ÿ™‚

    I guess you better get going on writing Minding Your Kids for Dumbasses for humanity’s sake ๐Ÿ˜‰

  20. Mooselet says:

    What surprises me, or perhaps not, is she still had an audience after that display. Never mind who would sit around listening to a pitch about vitimins, but who would stay after that stupid display?

    Oh, right… STUPID PEOPLE, that’s who!!

  21. delmer says:

    I hope I didn’t come across as making light of Mel’s actions or as defending his stupidity or as not understanding the seriousness of driving while intoxicated.

    I was certainly making light of my time in jail. In my original comment I started a bit about how being in jail made me take a look at the stupid things I was doing and how I considered the experience a good thing. As I droned on I realized the comment was getting a bit out of hand length-wise and cut the I’m a better person for the experience stuff. (I try to limit my droning to my blog and telling my kids about how winters were colder and summers were hotter when I was a kid. And, of course, to follow-up comments.)

  22. Dave2 says:

    Adena… Yes, really. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’ve come to the conclusion that the reason I see so much crazy crap is because I travel a lot. I think people act very different when they are away from home and can make asses out of themselves without anybody they know seeing it.

    James… Networking games are the worst when you are playing with douches you don’t know. LEROY JENKINS!!

    Laurence… Yes, one can never get in an argument with a moron because they will drag you down to their level… and win because they have more experience being stupid! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Deb_LA… An Inconvenient Stupidity?

    Sultana… Kudos to you! I do not envy the world of dumbasses your child will inherit though. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Mooselet… I have no idea what the presentation was about. Maybe she wasn’t selling the stuff, but was teaching them how to sell it? Heaven help us all… the stupid teaching the stupider.

    Delmer… Well, hopefully Mel will learn something from his experience. I have to wonder if he’ll have to serve any jail time? I would bet money that if it were any regular guy, he would.

  23. amamgets says:

    Since they were tiny I let my kids know that they hadn’t the right to disturb other (insert choice: shoppers’/diners’/theatre-goers’) day, and they completely understood. Parents who ignore their kids drive me nuts.

    So, don’t you wish you’d gone over and asked if her company sold birth control?

  24. Belinda says:

    I thought that as we were evolving, we were getting smarter–I mean, aren’t kids supposed to be smarter than their parents, seriously? Huh. So much for that, I guess. Except, I still hold out that hope for MY child.

  25. Jill says:

    I think that we are soulmates when it comes to opinions of stupid people. This includes stupid drivers. Too bad you live on the other side of the country ๐Ÿ™‚ I just don’t understand what is so hard about common sense. We’re doomed. ~sigh~

  26. Dave H says:

    Speaking of shirts, I went to the British International Motorshow a couple of weeks back and my flatmate took this photo of me… I’m wearing my ‘Zombies’ shirt!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  27. Erik says:

    I just found the blog (ahh the wonderfulness of the great things you find while searching for something totally unrelated) and I am surprised you were able to hold back from a well placed “..and then I muttered stupid bitch under my breath” to which she screamed “I HEARD THAT!” and went off on another tirade.

    What hotel was it? Because I am going up there this weekend and would love if it was the same place and I could ask the staff if they remember it.

  28. Wayne Hall says:

    Maybe part of the problem is that today’s society tolerates the stupid so much better than it used to. Given that 100 years is a blink of an eye in terms of human evolution, think back to 100 years ago and the things nature “put up with”. I would guess most of the arguments against stupid people become moot when backed up a hundred years or so.

    Not that everything 100 years ago was great, mind you. We’ve improved a lot of things, sure. But when the fools survive and breed… it’s a recipe for a society of fools. So how does a society cull the undesirables without being truly tragically demonistic and unfair? Used to, we let nature take care of it.

    Now we let the fools sue others for their mistakes. You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if Erik went there and he asked them and they said “oh, do you know the gentleman who caused such a ruckuss in the foyer? Could you please give to him?” and it’ll be a summons for disturbing the peace that you’re supposed to send to Dave.

    I can image the Davetoon now – a Damien that you would pity (due to bad environment), hauled away by a blathering selfish twit, scornfully saying “hope you’re happy!” to a confused Dave w/laptop on a hotel sofa.

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