I fully admit to being a smart-ass bastard.
It's almost impossible for me to be anything but a smart-ass bastard considering how totally brilliant I am. In fact, I'm so smart that I can't even pretend to be a dumbass. I'm just not that good of an actor. Coming to terms with the fact that even my ass is smarter than 95% of the general population has saved me from a lot of heartache and grief. If I didn't have such realization about my talents, I would probably break down and cry every time some idiot decides to berate me for my pointing out their intellectual inadequacies.
I was at the mini-mart picking up my Coke with Lime this morning (on sale: Two for Two Dollars!) when some stupid bitch pulls up next to me... IN THE HANDICAP PARKING SPACE!! She doesn't have a handicap parking permit, and obviously doesn't have a physical handicap...
DAVE: It must be mental.
STUPID BITCH: Sorry?
DAVE: Your handicap... it must be mental.
STUPID BITCH: I'm just buying a pack of cigarettes and'll only be a minute so why don't you mind your f#@%ing business! Are you the f#@%ing retard parking police? Who the f#@% are you?
DAVE: Oh good, so you you do realize you're parking in the wrong spot then.
Yeah. And knowing that she has the mental capabilities of a piece of navel lint, here is my reaction to her rantings...
Seriously, how else could I possibly react? Like I give a crap about anything this white trash dipshit has to say?
I know people who have to use handicap parking since it's very difficult for them to walk even short distances. When some lazy whore takes the only handicap parking spot because she doesn't feel like walking an extra twenty yards, that means she could be causing physical harm to somebody who needs it more than her lamer ass.
I think it's only right that she be made aware that she's an ill-manered bitch.
Being a smart-ass is such a thankless job.