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Buttered

Posted on Tuesday, July 11th, 2006

Dave!Wisconsin, for lack of a better word, is delicious.

Every time I come here, I always end up eating way too much. Unfortunately, what I eat are foods that are very, very bad for you. Things like a caramel-cashew frozen custard sundae from Culvers (which isn't bad until I tell you that I eat two of these EVERY DAY). Or cheese. Lots and lots of cheese. My latest addiction is fried cheese, which is taking something horribly delicious, doing bad things to it, and then ending up with something atrociously horribly delicious. I just can't help myself... fried fatty foods are my kryptonite.

Another problem here is that they love butter almost as much as I do.

Last night I was at the grocery store looking for snack foods to eat while I was working. I eventually ended up in the chip aisle, and picked up a bag of something called "O-Ke-Doke" because it had cool aliens on it...

Jays Corn Puffs O-Ke-Doke

It looked kind of like imitation Pirate Booty, so I was going to put it back until I heard a voice behind me...

NICE LADY: That had better not be the last bag, I was going to get some of that myself!
   
DAVE: Uhhh... no, there's plenty. I was just looking at it anyway.
   
NICE LADY: What? How can you not buy it? That stuff is addictive! Haven't you ever had it before?
   
DAVE: No. They don't have "O-Ke-Doke" in Washington State where I'm from.
   
NICE LADY: Oh you have GOT to try it then! It tastes like butter, and my kids just love it!
   
DAVE: Butter you say?!?

So I bought a bag along with all kinds of other snacky crap. All the way back to the hotel, I was getting more and more excited about the prospect of eating crunchy fried butter. What a brilliant idea! So I get back to my room, pull out my laptop, and rip open a bag... only to find out that it's not that great. Sure it tastes like butter (and that's a good thing)... but it's way too salty.

Except I cannot stop eating the stuff.

I ate half the bag last night for dinner, and polished off the remainder this morning for breakfast. It's like butter cocaine or something...

Crunchy Butter Addiction

Damn those dirty space-alien-fried-butter-cocaine-snack-pushers!!

Who needs spaceships and lasers to take over the earth? They've got O-Ke-Doke! And with 1190 calories, 1470 milligrams of sodium, and 77 fat grams per bag, humanity's destruction is assured.

And now I have to go to the store so I can buy another bag for lunch.

Addiction sucks ass.


Categories: DaveToons 2006, Food 2006Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. adena says:

    Cracking up at the expression on the alien’s face as he tells you “C’mon…just ONE more bag! You KNOW you wanna!”

    Cheese? Are you telling me you’re cheating on Tillamook w/ Wisconsin Cheese?? Think of the poor frozen cows!! :)

  2. ChillyWilly says:

    Butter snack treats… oh man. Incredible.

    As a fellow butter whole myself (i use at least 1/2 a stick in my oatmeal each morning), I may have to find a way to try these. A co-worker is going to Wisconsin this next week. Maybe I’ll have to convince her to bring back a bag of these cocaine-butter treats.

  3. Kevin says:

    Ah yes, O-Ke-Doke. Love it. They have some great white cheddar popcorn. Yum. I’ve never seen this new stuff, though. May have to look into it.

    If you ever need a fix and aren’t getting out to Illinois/Wisconsin anytime soon, let me know and I’ll mail you some.

  4. Dave2 says:

    Adena… I could never give up Tillamook Cheddar. It’s my favorite cheese by far, even here in Wisconsin.

    ChillyWilly… Ah, but you can buy the stuff online at $23.90 a case!

    Kevin… GAH! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME??!? Let me know if you ever try and kick a drug habit, and I’ll volunteer to send you some! You may want to stay clear of these things, as they are probably harder to give up than a cocaine habit. :-)

  5. Michelle says:

    Ahhhh, Cheese, fried cheese. Damn, I love that stuff. Shame its so fattening.

  6. ChillyWilly says:

    Dave…. ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME???… LOL.. I don’t know if I can take a case of these.

  7. karla says:

    Mmm….fried stuff. I would eat ASS if it was fried.

    Fried cheese is heavenly. I think the only way to make it better would be to cover it with chocolate and butter….mmmmm……

  8. Dave2 says:

    ChillyWilly… A case would have enough calories, sodium, and fat to kill most men, so I guess I AM trying to kill you! Sorry about that. :-)

    Karla… Fried Ass? I dunno about that. I am intrigued with fried cheese topped with butter though! Now THAT’S deadly delicious!

  9. Laurence says:

    Great brand, great mascot and I can well believe it if you said it tastes like butter and it is great.
    What have not got is just plane ticket and 14-15 flying hours… Puuff, it is not worth mentioning, isn’t it ? ;-)

  10. Jon says:

    Hmmm…corn puffs that are horrible for you, taste like butter, and are way too salty…sounds a little like movie theater popcorn.

    And I like me some movie theater popcorn.

    Might have to order myself a case…

  11. Bre says:

    That sounds like something I’d adore for just the name alone! New Jersey is (oddly enough) my feeding frenzy state – boardwalk pizza, italian ice, cotton candy, funnel cake – oh lord my hips are already crying……..

  12. Tracy Lynn says:

    AHHHHH, addiction is a Bitch Goddess, isn’t she, Dave? Fortunately, I have never heard of anyone getting arrested for driving under the influence of O-Ke-Doke. Not recently, anyway.

  13. Arwen says:

    Have you tried cheese curd yet? Minnesotans swear by them, it’s like new cheese.

  14. Erin says:

    Mmm, fried cheese. I love midwestern food, all greasy and salty and delicious and artery-clogging.

    Hie the to the methadone clinic – they might be able to help. Then again, your addiction may be beyond that stage by now.

  15. Mocha says:

    Tell me that you had the cheese curds at Culvers? Please? Because THOSE are what I get for dinner followed by the VERY caramel cashew sundae you described.

    I’m not kidding.

    Have you seen the size of my ass? (Yes, you have) It’s got SHE LOVES HER SOME CULVER FOOD STUFF written all over it. The curds. I want the curds now.

    What the hell is your cholesterol level anyway, Butter Boy?

  16. Dave2 says:

    Laurence… You are in Paris! They REALLY know how to use butter in France! A butter croissant in some little French cafe is a life-changing experience. :-)

    Jon… You are a braver man than I am! I would overdose and be dead for sure!

    Bre… When I was in New York, they had closed down New Jersey. No funnel cake on the boardwalk for me!

    Tracy Lynn… If there isn’t a law against driving under the influence of fried salty foods, there should be. I’m sure I could drive better DRUNK than after eating O-Ke-Doke!

    Arwen… Oh yes. Me no likes the curd raw (squeaks on my teeth!), but fried is another story entirely! Fried cheese is genius!!

    Erin… I had no idea how they would treat somebody with the level of sodium I must have in my bloodstream. Probably a transfusion or something?

    Mocha… I am scared to death to have my cholesterol checked. If I get cut, oil comes leaking out, so I am guessing it’s pretty bad? Culvers is from the devil… that much is certain!

  17. ms. sizzle says:

    love the name. it reminds me of the nickname i gave my sister. and salt and butter combo? deadly! no wonder you can’t stop eating it. :)

  18. Wayne Hall says:

    Since we are so intimately familiar with some of your other addictions I think it only fitting that we pay tribute to Dave’s new product, CORN-CAINE.

  19. EDDIE says:

    Anything is good with butter.
    Even it works for human body too!
    (I am not joking. Just email me if you want to know more.)

  20. kilax says:

    This happens to me all the time – I become addicted to the same thing and eat it over and over and over…

    Right now it is fresh creama gelato from this palce in Rome. The only thing that can cure me from the addiction is leaving to go back to the States!

  21. Dave2 says:

    Ms. Sizzle… It’s cheaper than a crack habit too! :-D

    Wayne… I can absolutely see spreading butter on fried butter cripsy snacks. If we could somehow find a way to sautee the resulting butter-topped-butter-snack IN butter… well then, that would be just about perfect, wouldn’t it? Corncaine indeed!

    Eddie… Oh no! If butter is HEALTHY to eat, then it won’t taste as good! Only things that are BAD for you taste good! :-)

    Kilax… Don’t even get me started on authentic Italian gelato! I eat my weight in Stracciatella gelato every time I visit the country! Gelato is like ice cream heroin or something.

  22. JustRun says:

    Great. Now I have to call relatives in Wisconsin and as them to send some O-Ke-Doke. They already think I’m strange.
    I would blame you for the weight gain but, not to worry, I read the FAQ.

    Found your site via Sizzle.

  23. jali says:

    My guy recently invited me to Milwaukee to meet the family and friends. Thanks for the food warnings. I will not eat O-Ke-Doke puffs no matter what!

  24. Eve says:

    Step away from the Corn Puffs … and the butter. (See, I don’t enable!)

  25. Katie K. says:

    you’re blog is fantastic! love your posts =)

  26. Epona says:

    Is puff corn a regional thing then? I live in Minnesota so I’m not to familiar with what we have that others don’t have access to.

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