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Posted on Monday, May 22nd, 2006

Dave!Violence is not my way. At least not anymore.

Since applying Buddhist philosophies to my life, I am a much happier person. I'm not saying that Buddhism is for everybody, but it sure has helped me make sense of this insane world we live in. Unfortunately, it can also be a darn nuisance. Mostly because of the whole "non-violence thing". A primary precept of Buddhism is to do no harm. Since this includes not killing people, I spend most of my time being frustrated.

Take today for instance. If it weren't for my Buddhist leanings, this would be the evening headline...

Seattle Post Intelligizer

And don't think it's because I enjoy the idea of killing people... I don't.

It's just that some people are too stupid to let live.

And a good chunk of them are Seattle drivers. It never ceases to amaze me how utterly idiotic some of them get when it rains. And since it rains a bit more here than it does in other cities, this is not okay. I spent a lot of time this morning stuck in traffic and blinded with rage at dumbasses who have no business being behind the wheel.

But it's not just drivers. After checking in to my hotel, I ran to the elevator. A woman there had already pressed her floor, and so I pressed mine which was two floors lower. This instantly caused her to get pissed because now she had to make a stop at my floor before getting to her own...

Stupid Bitch: Well I WAS in a hurry.
Stupid Bitch: What-ever.

Uh huh. The world would definitely be a better place if people like this bitch weren't in it.

But instead of strangling her right there in the elevator, I walk away.

Because violence is not my way. At least not anymore.

Categories: DaveLife 2006Click To It: Permalink


  1. adena says:

    Anybody that says “WHAT-everrrr” DESERVES to be strangled in an elevator. 🙂

  2. Eve says:

    How friggin dare you get into an elevator and press the button for your floor. HOW. DARE. YOU.

    Way to practice self restraint, my friend. Bravo to you. I, too, try to apply Buddhist philosophies to my life, especially since I’ve let aggression rule me in past. Though, I admit, I’m constantly being tested, and sometimes, Hostile Eve wins out, but only if I’m seriously provoked.

  3. jodi says:

    what you need is an evil sidekick.

  4. Dave2 says:

    That would be Bad Monkey. But the hotel doesn’t allow animals.


  5. i8toomuch says:

    Maybe you have been a really bad driver in one of your many past lives.. Or a bitch terrorizing others on the elevator.
    Karma ripening, my friend, karma… 😉

  6. Wait wait wait — this woman actually bothered to open her mouth and complain about your use of the elevator as it was intended? People do that?

    I think this is why I take the stairs…

  7. Göran says:

    I thought only [merely] 12 year olds got away with saying What everrrr nowadays.

  8. LarryB says:

    I’m disappointed. You missed the opportunity to press the button for the floor between yours and hers – with a flourish while stepping off the elevator.

    As far as Seattle driving goes, the big problem here are the passive-aggressive types who seem to believe that they have been granted the right to enforce the speed limit by driving 10 mph lower in the left lane. You know who they are because they speed up when you try to pass them.

  9. Erin says:

    Ooh, Seattle traffic can be infuriating. Every time we visit my husband’s family in Yakima we end up going to Seattle and getting stuck somewhere on a freeway. Ugh.

  10. Karl says:

    I’m with Larry B. I absolutely would have pressed the button for the next floor. And when she inevitably called me an a-hole I would have said, “Whatever.” Are Buddhists allowed to be immature because I think I’d have a real problem converting.

  11. Eve says:

    I have returned to report to you the lastest in Liz Hurley world HERE, with photo goodness, I do not lie — photo goodness.

  12. Dave2 says:


    Thank you oh Mistress of Metal Eve!

    Liz Purple

    That’s one for my collection! 🙂

  13. Charred says:

    @_@ Killing the wasps gave him a taste for blood, now he’s moved up to people!

    Everybody RUN! = P

    Seriously, death’s too good for people like this.

  14. Brandon says:

    You and me should hang out. I am not opposed to violence and we are pissed off by almost the same things, so I could easily identify who you would like to injure and I could take care of it. You would never have to even know. I would just nonchalantly (sic?) excuse myself whenever I needed. It would be a perfect system.

  15. *lynne* says:

    omg, what, did she think the elevator was reserved *just* for her or something? geeeeeez…. oh and thanx, I know what to blog about next – a related elevator story 🙂

  16. Sayuri says:

    That’s about the only good thing about living in the UK. Everyone is so repressed and polite, no one would have mentioned the elevator thing.


    Hope you have a better day tomorrow!

  17. karla says:

    I honestly can’t believe a woman would compalin that you pushed an elevator button two floors below hers! I mean, c’mon! That’s what elevators DO! I think maybe you meet the rudest people in the world when you go out. Which explains WHY you want to kill them.

    I say go ahead and kill so I won’t have to meet them some other time. THink of it as saving the world, one asshole at a time.

  18. kilax says:

    What a bitch. She deserved to be strangled. Props to you for being so calm!

  19. Jon says:

    When I have a day like that, I find that it helps to review the Basic Laws of Human Stupidity:

  20. Jeff says:

    Liz. Yowza!

  21. Tracy Lynn says:

    The minute she said something, I would have pushed every button on the wall.
    But I’m immature like that.

  22. Kevin says:

    Well, Dave, I have not adopted Buddhist precepts so I can kill the elevator bitch for you. Send me some information on her and I’ll have her head on a platter for you by the time you come to Chicago. Sound cool?

  23. ms. sizzle says:

    that is one thing i am not looking forward to in seattle- the dreaded traffic. i can deal with the rain but road rage, not so much.

    and that bitch in the elevator? i would have leaned over and hit EVERY damn floor button and looked her straight in the eye saying, “how do you like me now?!”

    ok, maybe i wouldn’t have but i would have WANTED to!

  24. Bre says:

    Haha – I love Sizz’s solution. You should have said “Oh, did I hit 3? I meant to hit 2 actually…. and now that I think of it I may go visit my friend on 4.”

  25. Dave2 says:

    I considered doing that myself, but it would have been only one extra stop in my case, so I thought it was just kind of petty. If there would have been a dozen floors between us, I probably would have been a total bastard and pressed them all!

  26. Bec says:

    As we leave the work building the lift stops at every floor as a default. We are the only company in at that time and are based on the top floor.

    However, saying whateverrrrr is reason enough for death. It’s on a par with “Am I bothered?” and “Talk to the hand”…

    Wow, even saying them in my head makes me want to pound… er… myself…

  27. adena says:

    Well, you could’ve been REALLY (and deservedly) mean, and looked her up and down reeeeeally slowly, and said something like “Well, if I were you, I’d REALLY look into using the stairs, instead of the elevator.”

  28. Deb_LA says:

    Does Buddhism say anything about hiring a trained assassin? I mean I am a Christian(gasp, I know) so I can’t kill anyone either but I’m thinking more and more about hiring someone. Is that cheating you think?

  29. jodi says:

    “That would be Bad Monkey. But the hotel doesn’t allow animals.”

    that’s why i have my friend Evildeb. She is allowed in hotels, because she’s human. And she enjoys violence. However, I’m really the one who enjoys confronting rude people. A lot. I enjoy it a lot.

  30. That’s a damn shame, because that bitch in the elevated NEEDED to die.

  31. Brent says:

    Was that actual dialogue between you and the Stupid B***h? I can’t even imagine someone having a stick that large up their a$$. Soon I’m just going to start handing out chill pills if people can’t relax on their own.

  32. Dave2 says:

    Oh yes… it’s for reals. I had a long, hard day, and that’s exactly how I responded to her stupid ass. And that’s pretty much what she said. I blogged it right after it happened.

  33. Belinda says:

    “At least not anymore.”

    Does no one else find that final sentence chilling?

    Oh, and now I see I was slow on the trigger sending you those pics of Liz flashing her shapely leg at you.

  34. It is true that I can flip to bitch in the blink of an eye. I’d have been childish like the other commenters and hit every button. Then I’d have stood in the door of each floor and looked around and said, “Nope, this isn’t my floor! NEXT!” And I’d be r-e-a-l-l-y s-l-o-w getting off the elevator when I did get to my floor. Then, I’d fart on the way out just for good measure.

  35. I understand you are Buddhist and while I admire you for sticking to your principles I believe wholeheartedly in what a wise man once said: “Sometimes you’ve just got to thin the herd.”

  36. SJ says:

    I too struggle with the non-violent aspect of being Buddhist. Mostly because it applies to EVERY LIVING THING. Very hard to follow when threatened by fire ants. I’m kind of a “lapsed Buddhist” anyway, since I’ve not yet resumed vegetarianism. Damn, it’s hard to find an established faith that fits perfectly.

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