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Posted on Tuesday, April 25th, 2006

Dave!I wish I had a dollar for every time I've dropped the F-Bomb today.

Nothing, and I mean nothing has gone right today. On top of all that, my internet connection has been flakey (at best), so being able to catch up on email and the various blogs I enjoy has been an exercise in futility. At first I was blaming my DSL connection, but now it looks like it must be my piece-of-crap DSL/wireless hub that's the problem.

I am very close to soaking it in gasoline and lighting it on fire... but I'm fairly certain that this would void my warranty.

And so I spend my time swearing instead...

Dave Fuck

And to top it all off, I get a call from Bad Robert informing me that a friend of ours whom we haven't seen in months had died back in February (isn't it time that they invent a cure for cancer?). He was an incredibly generous and decent human being, and it makes me sad to know that somebody like him is gone from this earth.

Robert then goes on a rant for ten full minutes about how he wishes that he would win a billion dollars so that he could quit his job and devote the rest of his life to hunting down spammers and killing them. It almost makes me wish that I had a billion dollars to give him.

After I hang up the phone, I call another one of our friends to let her know about the death, only to learn that she lost her job last Friday. Her position has been outsourced. This leads me to wonder if there is any job that WON'T be outsourced in the near-future. I picture a day when you pull up to a McDonald's drive-through and somebody from India answers on the speaker-box. Tech-sector jobs (which we were all told would be the future of employment in America) are disappearing at an alarming rate. Pretty soon the only job left will be for lawyers, and then everybody will spend their time suing each other to make a living. Sounds like Utopia to me.


Internet connection willing, I hope to have the Artificial Duck Store open again tomorrow night. Then everybody can pre-order their $10-off shirts and be blissfully happy.

Hey, given what happened today, I fully believe "happiness" is an entirely relative term.

Categories: DaveLife 2006, DaveToons 2006Click To It: Permalink


  1. Michelle says:

    Man, sounds like a really rough day. I hope it gets better.

    I’m so looking forward to pre-ordering Zombie Dave Tee.

  2. kilax says:

    Sorry about your friend

  3. jodi says:

    you know, it’s been a day like that around here as well. email is down, but only for MAC users. it started going down yesterday 9am. but, because they care SO MUCH about mac users, it’s still not fixed, they don’t know why it’s happening, and have no time line for a solution.

    every since they switched to an exchange server and calendar system, life has been hell for the mac users.


  4. adena says:

    Hey! I’m rubbing off on someone! Sorry about that, man. It seems my luck is even affecting people over the internet.

    My week has nearly made me want to soak MYSELF in gasoline, and light myself on fire.


    Oh, and outsourcing? Not only was ONE of my jobs outsourced, but I took another one w/ the same company, only to have THAT one outsourced 2 years later.


    Again, I apologize.

  5. Eve says:

    Seems to be a shitty time for health and jobs all around. All I’ve been hearing lately is bad shit just like this. Let’s hope things get better real soon.

  6. Troy says:

    Sorry about all the crap your going through today. I’d say “It can only get better”, but we both know that’s crap as well.

    Here’s to hoping things are better tomorrow.

  7. Dave2 says:

    Michelle: Well, the day is ending soon enough… I can only hope that this is the end of it. 🙁

    Kilax: Boy, so am I. I hadn’t seen him in ages, but now the fact that I will never see him again is pretty tough to take. There’s a lesson to be learned there I’m sure.

    Jodi: Mac users always get screwed in mixed-network environments. Be content with the fact that you aren’t having to use a Windows computer, and you’ll feel better!

    Adena: I now have four friends who have had their jobs outsourced. Only one of them has found a better job than they had. The other three are either still unemployed, or had to settle for a much worse job. This is a huge problem.

    Eve: Oh I hope so! It would suck major balls if this trend continues.

    Troy: Indeed. I’ve given up on that, and am just content if things don’t get worse! 🙂

  8. Tink says:

    am so sorry about your friend…i hope tomorrow is a little better…i will send good and happy thoughts your way…

    on a side note…i want a t-shirt of that cartoon so i can wear it to work….

  9. ssp says:

    Try Googling for mcdonalds drive thru call and get the impression that the McDonalds outsourcing idea isn’t considered as absurd as it sounds by them…

  10. Chanakin says:

    My condolences on the loss of your friend.

    If it’s any consolation, I too was dropping the F-er all day.

    Maybe what we need is a national day of venting. An F-Bomb day. I’m sure the turnout will put that candy-ass “Hands Across America” stunt to shame.

  11. Chase says:

    Yep. Today was an f-bomber for me too. My email people have been dead today, too. And on a day that I kinda need it.

    Oddly, Yahoo Hosting has been up and running perfectly on my site ALL day. Something ain’t quite right with the universe today.

  12. Karl says:

    Condolences, Dave. That friggin’ sucks.

    Hey, when the $10 off thing comes through will the Zombies shirt be available thru your store?

  13. delmer says:

    That McDonald’s thing sounds familiar. I’m certain I’ve read (and it looks like SSP has seen the same thing) about some fast food franchises having centralized drive-thru operations.

    You drive up to a restaurant in Ohio, for example, and give your order to someone who is in Iowa who enters it and then sends it to the Ohio restaurant you’re visiting.

    When this stuff goes offshore drive thrus will be a lot more interesting. Who know’s what will be in that bag they hand out the window.

    As for my Internet … last night is the first in a week that my service hasn’t dropped sporadically starting at 10 p.m.

  14. FrancesDanger says:

    Sorry for the crappy day. I am very much in agreement with you on India, especially since I work at a call center.

    About a week ago we were slammed with calls. The issue was that our call center in Bangalore, India was down for 2 days because they were rioting. And not the cool social/economic reform rioting. They were rioting for a dead actor, who died of a heart attack.

    It happened the same day June Pointer died, and nary a chair was thrown in our center, but I digress.

    Hope things get better!

  15. Neil says:

    In reference to your t-shirts, let’s me thankful that t-shirts are still being made in the good ‘ol USA and not in sweatshops in… oops, sorry.

  16. Dave2 says:

    I don’t know if you are being sympathetic or just a smart ass… but just TRY to get American-made T-shirts. The only supplier I’ve found that can compete in quality and price is “American Apparel”. Nothing would make me happier than supporting their efforts. But, apparently, I am too insignificant to get sales support. I couldn’t even get a freakin’ color chart or be allowed access to hi-res product photos so that I could create designs around their merchandise (or have promo photos for my site).

    That leaves Jerzees, Hanes, Gildan, and the rest of the imports. The very first company I contacted was Hanes. Not only did they IMMEDIATELY send me an information packet with a complete information and distribution for their entire line of products… they also signed me up for online wholesale support where I had full access to all their colors, hi-res photos, and support material to get the most out of their stuff. Even though I make less than 500 shirts per year, they treated me like I sold 500,000.

    So it wasn’t for lack of trying… I’m just not a big enough operation to have much of a choice in what materials I can use. All I can do is work with the companies who will work with me, or not make T-shirts at all.

  17. Dave2 says:

    Tink: You must have a very understanding workplace!

    SSP: Uhhh… I only thought I was joking?? WTF?

    Chanakin: I am shocked that anybody remembers “Hands Across America”! All I remember about it was that it was a colossal failure. Kind of a shame, because it was a cool idea.

    Chase: Karma balancing. The good ju-ju has to end up SOMEWHERE, and I guess it’s Yahoo! that gets it just now.

    Karl: Absolutely. All three models will be there.

    Delmer: Ya know, when I tried to think of something that could conceivably be outsourced… but could never actually be outsourced… McDonalds came to instantly to mind. I’m scared now.

    Frances: India is a place I’ve long wanted to visit. Now it ends up I might have to move there in twenty years so I can find work! 🙂

  18. Belinda says:

    I have a cable modem now. Which goes out everytime we have a thunderstorm. For anywhere from one to three days? Is there ANY logical explanation for that? Also, we got a phone bill at the new place and discovered that while we have “free” long-distance (meaning we pay a flat fee for a package that includes all our LD calls), that fee does NOT include “data calls,” of which there were $180 worth on the bill. Apparently all from DirecTV making the 3:00AM “daily call.” Good grief. I’m not sure what we’ll wind up doing about that.

  19. Dave2 says:

    Even though it’s a local call, I unplug DirecTV from the phone line, and only plug it in every 60 days when I absolutely have to. Despite the warnings of doom they give you, nothing bad happens. 🙂

  20. margalit says:

    Remember hands across america? I DID hands across america. They assigned me to the George Washington bridge in NYC but I’m afraid of bridges, like deathly afraid of them, so we went downtown and joined hands down there. It was, like, way cool, man.

    I have FINALLY moved beyond dial-up, cable, and DSL. We now have FIOS and it’s great. We have not had one issue with it, and what’s weird about it is that it’s literally cheaper than cable, but faster. Lightening fast. Our provider is Verizon, but I think it’s only offered in very limited areas. Comcast also offers it, but I hate comcast for the very reasons Belinda stated. More out than on. Blech!

    I had a terrible day too. I can relate.

  21. Bec says:

    I though bad days were supposed to be the dreaded Mondays? Everyone I have spoken to has had a rubbish day.
    Sorry about your friend, there are no words which can make you feel better about that – it really bites.
    I lost a perfect and beautiful job a few years back due to outsourcing to India, and I get to call India every day thanks to my new job which is ‘great’ but ‘sucks’. I must admit to being a little bitter and less understanding when things go wrong on their end, which is often (but that’s the multinational companies fault, not the advisor’s fault).
    Was today just a bad karma unleashing day?

  22. Wade says:

    Really sorry about your friend.

    I’m in agreement with Tink, perhaps a limited edition release of a F-Bomb Dave T-Shirt is in order : )

  23. Rabbit says:

    Now I have that “Bad Day” song stuck in my head. What sucks even more is I only know the first line.

  24. Bre says:

    My DSL is a fickle mistress – and for some reason the wireless router hates me enough to never set up quite right no matter how many times I re-install it. I’ve given up. I’m very sorry to hear about your friend! Having lost far too many people to cancer, I agree with you 100% – it would be lovely if they could just fix that right now…. maybe if they stopped putting all that time and energy into financing call centers in India…

  25. Kevin says:

    “you pull up to a McDonald’s drive-through and somebody from India answers on the speaker-box”

    Ummm… that already happens. We learned about it in one of my MBA courses earlier this year. It’s not everywhere, but just in test markets. Freaky.

    Sorry about your day, man. That sucks. One of my best friends died when I was a freshman in college and he was one of those guys that EVERYBODY loves. Doesn’t matter what your background is, you love the guy because he has your back regardless of who you are. And then he died from cancer. Life isn’t fair in the slightest.

    What wireless router are you using? Katie and I have the Apple Airport Extreme. Works like a dream except that, every once in a while, we find ourselves needing to unplug the modem to reset the connection. Only like once a month, which is fine overall.

    On a lighter note, can we start a Blogography Drinking Game where we each do a shot everytime you say “f#@%”? Could be fun. And we all have to live blog it. Heh. Hope that thought cheers you up a bit.

  26. adena says:

    Pizza Hut centralizes it’s ordering process, too. If you call them, you don’t get your local pizza joint, you get a call center somewhere. It’s very odd.

    Dave, India is awesome, but you don’t want to work there. 🙂 It’s very….frusterating. Us 3 girls went to help them through a Q-end, because we had years of experience of handling the craziness, and it was the Indian’s first time trying to do it themslves. You’d think they’d use us as a resource for thier dept. Uh, no. They kept going to ask this guy from the Boston campus, who really had nothing to do w/ the dept we worked for, only a small knowledge of what we did, and we were the “experts”….yet, they chose to talk to the MAN about all the stuff, and completely ignored us, because we were girls.

    Oh man, were we pissed. 8 hours of surfing the net in the wee (U.S.) hours of night, when we could’ve been out doing stuff, instead. Pissed.Us.Off.

    One of the Indian guys had a thing for my friend. He annoyed the hell out of her when he was in the States, but once we got there, he upped his game. He was married w/ an extremely sick baby, but he insisted on trying to get my friend to go do things w/ him, go outside ALONE w/ him, etc….When he finally came out and told her she was going to go have sex w/ him, she was all but laughed at him. He was a short, slimy, disgusting pig, and she let him know as much. To which he responded by telling EVERYONE in the office there (100+ Indians) that he had slept with her, and she was a big, American slut, and they should all go get her in bed. Needless to say…did NOT go over well.

    Oh, and they crashed and burned in the Q-end. Did not get deals booked in time. Lost the company millions in moolah. Indians are extremely intelligent BOOKWISE, but put them in a situation that involves common sense, and making decisions for themselves, and they can’t do it. It’s some cultural thing…the caste system, etc. They’re not used to just doing stuff w/o asking for permission…REPEATEDLY. But, did the bigwigs reconsider sending MORE stuff over there? Nope. Their still doing it. Damn Larry.

    Anyhow….India = Gorgeous scenery, great travel place. Does NOT equal good working environment.

  27. mikey says:

    A big hug from me.

  28. Silvertongue says:

    Sorry to hear about your day, and the loss of your friend. A friend of a friend just passed away from cancer, and it’s another example of an amazing person who had so much to offer being taken way too soon.

    Hopefully last night’s totally kick-ass Veronica Mars helped a little? I know it managed to brighten up a pretty dismal day for me…

  29. ChillyWilly says:

    Sorry to hear about your friend, Dave. I lost my mom to cancer less than a month ago and even though she had a long life, it’s still hard to deal with the loss.

    f-bomb… the many variations of that I use (mostly sandwiched between ‘mother’ and ‘er’) get me through some tough days.

    Google – mcdonalds drive through outsource
    several articles come up with this. Sad… so sad. And to think it’s all to save a few cents that usually end up in the pocket of the upper management.

  30. randy says:

    Sorry on the loss of your friend–and finding out so late…

    On the f-bomb…I always say to myself I will not use such language. I was raised to NOT use such language. But IT happens…

    Mostly to myself in a quiet or silent muttered tone. Frustration just needs some verbal outlet of expression…

    Today I am feeling it especially…as I give my high school math students their STATE Standardized Tests in mathematics. I’m telling you this test is so f-ing hard…I work my tail off all year to get the kids through the material…then I see this test. It is plain brutal…

    So I go on muttering bad words to myself…all day long…

  31. Rikki says:

    We are running short of decent human beings as far as I’m concerned and I think cancer is a selfish bastard for continually stealing them away! Sorry to hear about your friend.

    Tell Bad Robert that I just received an email from my gud frend Prince Jahal in Afgainistan who is totally will to lend…nay GIVE…me 2.4 million dollars if I help him get out of his country safely!

    I’d happily donate it to Mr. Bad Roberts just and worthy cause just let me know where to forward send the Prince’s e-mail…

  32. claire says:

    I’m sorry to hear you were having such a rotten day. I hope today’s going better.

    My router’s been acting up all week, so I’m with ya on the cursing.

  33. timothy says:

    I’ve become way to fond of the F-bomb in recent days. It’s become my expletive of choice. This would not be so bad if I did not have an audience of 11-year-olds all day long. I don’t want any miss-fired bombs landing on tender ears. Then again, I’ve read some of their blogs and know the bombing they are capable of.

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