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Lost Blogging: Day 1

Posted on Monday, April 10th, 2006

Dave!This morning I had set my alarm an hour early to 4:30am so that I could write my first "Lost Blogs" entry. As it turns out, that was hardly necessary, because I was awoken by a loud pounding on my door shortly after 4:00am. "Mr. Simmer? Mr. Simmer are you there?" a voice shouted from outside. Worried that the racket would wake up my neighbors and give them even more reason to torment me, I rushed to answer.

Standing there was a smallish man with a pink face who was dressed in a drab, wrinkled suit and a brown overcoat that was too big for him. Without an invitation, the man (who introduced himself only as "Professor Blattenthorp") rushed passed me to the dining room table, talking a mile a minute.

It turns out that professor had purchased a book at an estate sale, and found the last page of a letter inside of it. It was undated, faded, and badly torn, so the author was not known. The only thing that could be identified was my name, and a web address for Blogography! The letter appeared to pre-date the internet by a wide margin, so the professor was quite anxious to know about it. The contents of the document seemed wildly impossible, yet all evidence pointed to it being real...

Lost Blogs Letter

The professor had written out the contents as follows...

I find myself in a state of disbelief as to what has just occurred.
   
I was tending to my dismal finances, as is my custom most evenings, when suddenly I see a golden glow emanating from behind me. In haste I turn around to discover a rather tall gentleman has appeared as if from thin air! He is dressed in strange attire, the likes of which I have never seen. He is ruggedly handsome, with a tousle of dark hair and a well-trimmed beard. There is an aura about him which I cannot explain, but I had an immediate sense to trust him implicitly.
   
Once I had gathered my senses, I bade this stranger to tell me his name. I learn that he is called "David Simmer" and he has a favor to ask of me. From out of his satchel he hands me a smooth metal box with rounded corners. It is of a dull silver color... aluminum perhaps... and I am guessing it measures approx. 14-inches by 9-inches and is an inch thick. Mr. Simmer tells me that this is a "Macintosh" (though it looks nothing of apples!) and it possesses a magical connection to the future.
   
I scoff at his unbelievable tale, yet he assures me he speaks the truth. As if to prove himself, he presses a small latch on the metal box and it opens and comes to life! It seems all at once impossible and magical, but I soon learn that this "Macintosh" is indeed a link to the future. "And what would you have me do with this device?" I asked. The stranger laughs warmly, and then lays a gentle hand upon my shoulder. "My friend", he replies, "I want nothing more than your thoughts of life in this time. Your hopes, your dreams, your experiences... all the things you find interesting about your world here. I ask that you keep a journal, as a link from my time to yours, so that I might know better how you live here in this primitive past!"
   
And then David Simmer vanished, as if he had never been.
   
I must admit to being skeptical of his ask, but the overwhelming trust and affection I feel for this stranger forbade me to decline. And thus I have begun to write in this wondrous device as a matter of course. I am told that if a future-person wishes to read of my journal, he has nothing more to do than to navigate his own Macintosh to the address that follows:
https://www.blogography.com/lostblogs
   
Yours very sincerely,
???

Naturally, I know nothing about it. The "ruggedly handsome" part certainly sounds like me though, and so I can only assume that this is a reference to my future-self or something. But, despite it all, I tell the professor that it is absolutely impossible for there to be such a URL on Blogography, because I just moved hosting companies, and would have seen it. He then tells me that he verified the link in the document immediately after finding it, which was just around midnight. After that, he drove straight from Idaho to my door seeking answers.

I laughed in his face, because I was certain that such a link does not exist at Blogography, and decided to prove it to him. I wake up me beloved Macintosh G4 Cube and type it in.

It turns out that the link is real.

I don't know how. I don't know why. But it's there: https://www.blogography.com/lostblogs is an actual, working URL on my site.

I have no idea what is happening, but it seems that the "me" from the future has decided to take care of this "Lost Blogs" thing for me. So, as it turns out, I get to play along with the rest of you in an attempt to figure out the identity of this "lost blogger". I can only guess that new entries will appear every day this week, but you can read the first one here.

Those of you wanting to make guesses as to this "lost blogger's" identity should send me an email at the address in my sidebar. Comments with guesses will not be approved! Who knows, there might be a prize for the first person to guess correctly! But remember the rules... you only get ONE GUESS... so make sure you're sure about who it is before contacting me, because any subsequent guesses by the same person will be tossed out.

If you want to learn more about Pauly's book (or pre-order a copy), visit The Lost Blogs site!


Categories: Memes 2006Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Neil says:

    Damn it, I knew there was a reason everyone gets a Macintosh. PCs suck.

  2. Mario says:

    Wow, I’m impressed by both the work you put into this and *how* great it is. Very nice!

  3. suze says:

    wow. two lost blogs posts for the price of one. and i still have no idea who your historical figure might be. However, the work you’ve put into both this page and your davespace page are wonderful. amazing!

  4. SJ says:

    Nice job on the DaveSpace. Will the way he decorates his page give us clues to his identity? Because right now, it could be a number of people.

    I have a tiny suspicion based on one of the subtler clues, but I’m afraid to submit it in case I’m wrong. You’re strict!!!

  5. Pauly D says:

    Dude, you are INSANE with your over-the-top, professional antics. Maybe now, with today’s post, the press will stop saying that the Japanese have us beat.

  6. Dave2 says:

    Neil: Apparently this person thinks that all computers are called “Macintosh”, but I assure you the link works on PCs as well.

    Mario/Suze: It wasn’t a lot of work, actually. Once I had decided who I was going to use, things came together in my head. It took just a little under an hour to get everything together (though I admit to stealing the “DaveSpace” layout from gish.com to save time!

    SJ: The “one guess” thing was part of the rules, I thought? Seems like a good idea to keep my inbox from being overrun with multiple guesses! I too am anxious to see what this mysterious historical figure does with his “DaveSpace” page! I guess we have to tune in tomorrow and see…

    Pauly: Insane? Yeah, that pretty much sums me up!

  7. mikey says:

    WOW dude that was amazing!!! The mac line was too funny “Doesn’t look like apple to me.” I am still clueless on who you are blogging!!

  8. Kevin says:

    YOU CHEATED! You had someone else write your posts you lazy SOB!!

    Oh wait…

    Actually, that is incredibly cool and the whole “torn parchment” thing was something I considered, but ran out of time. Glad I didn’t try it, it would’ve paled in comparison to yours.

    My initial guess, as I was reading this post, was that you took the computer back to a young Steve Jobs so he would create it. But you gave him the computer to type on, not to analyze. So much for that idea.

  9. Jacynth says:

    Love the intro to this. I will guess who are you are, oh yes, I will!

  10. Karl says:

    Wow, very well done indeed! As I was reading it I found myself saying, “Man, I wish I was this good” over and over. I kinda hate you just a little bit. heh.

  11. Ms. Q says:

    Yeah, what Karl said. Nicely done. Damn you! *shakes fist*

  12. Jill says:

    I rather covet your meta-layer to this whole shindig. Bloody brilliant, indeed. I have a guess, but I’m going to hold off.

  13. Jeff says:

    I’ve noticed this “Tom” character shows up on all new MySpace accounts. I agree with R-A-S. He’s creepy and must be eliminated!

  14. ash says:

    Damn, I came up with a guess straight away but I’m having second thoughts now so I don’t want to risk it. I can’t wait for the next post! I probably shouldn’t be surprised by the amount of work you (or rather “Rage-a-Saurus”?) put in but I’m still impressed.

  15. You had me at “set my alarm an hour early, to 4:30 AM”…actually this is quite intriguing…I will chose wisely with my guess.

  16. Bre says:

    Have I told you lately that you delight me? Cause that was deeeelightful!

  17. Rabbit says:

    Would you believe that I squinted and read that ENTIRE parchment before I realized that the content was rewritten just below it? Yeah, I feel smart.

    Your posts definitely go above and beyond. I’m jealous. I’m way too computer stupid to do anything of that nature, even for myself.

  18. Nicole says:

    I’m torn between gushing praise and also being eaten by jealousy over your entry. So as not to feed your ego I’m just going to say, “Eh, it’s an okay post”.

    (Seriously though, I can’t wait to see what tomorrow has to bring. Hopefully more clues because I honestly have no idea who the myserious R-A-S is…yet.)

  19. Impressive!

    And I have to agree with R-A-S, that “Tom” dude is more than a little creepy…

  20. I’ve got a few thoughts but I’m waiting until tomorrow’s installment before guessing…

    Good show!

  21. groovebunny says:

    What an amazing and creative entry!

  22. Eve says:

    I have a few gut-feeling guesses, but I too will wait. Don’t want to jump the gun. Whoever you are, this stuff is great so far.

  23. Kathleen says:

    Awesome intro! I have no clue who you are, but I haven’t cracked any of my fellow lost bloggers yet!

  24. dave says:

    HA! davespace. You sir, are clever. Do you have a myspace yourself?

  25. Belinda says:

    I knew yours would be the most fun! I find myself “skeptical of your ask” from time to time, so at least I identify with your mystery subject.

  26. sandra says:

    I’m feeling like an underachiever now…god, thanks Dave…

  27. kilax says:

    I have been waiting all day for your lost blog… I knew it would be good and it was more than that!

    I love the comment on Tom on “Davespace!”

  28. Bec says:

    Feel stupid… must try harder… will guess… eventually… or will nod intelligently at everyone elses’s guesses and then pretend I knew too…

  29. Kathleen says:

    i love the first entry! you’re such a good writer.

  30. Ms Sisyphus says:

    Great conceit. Cannot wait to see how it plays out. I’m hoping it’s not one of the obvious 2 choices though.

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