I swear, I do not make this stuff up.
Yesterday morning as I was walking out the door to work, I got a wrong number phone call from some older guy. I seem to be a magnet for these kinds of things.
Fortunately, this time I resisted the urge to be a smart-ass, because something tells me the repercussions could have been particularly strange...
Dave: Hello?
Caller: Yeah, I was the guy that gave you $20 last night.
Dave: Uhhh... no you didn't.
Caller: Yes, I gave you $20.
Dave: I think you have the wrong number, because I didn't get $20 from anybody last night.
Caller: Well this is the number he gave me!
Dave: Then he must have given you the wrong number, because I don't have your $20!
Caller: But...
Dave: Sorry, goodbye!
Naturally, my mind is abuzz with wonder over why somebody would give a stranger $20 in exchange for his phone number. And since he thinks that stranger is me, I've got these disturbing images running through my head.
Most of them involving me being naked or dressed naughty...
Please. Make it stop.
BLOGOGRAPHY FLASHBACK ENTRY: Mr. Bread
BLOGDATE: February 8, 2004
In which Dave explains the photos of himself that preface each entry, and wins a coffee mug for drunken bread carving.
Click here to go back in time...
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AAAAAH, my eyes, my eyes…they hurt! You’ve got to warn us when you have images like these. 🙂
Maybe you should consider hiring a phone answering service so that they can screen these weirdo calls you seem to get?
You know, that cartoon would make a great t-shirt 🙂
Not really what I wanted to picture this morning, but thanks for sharing…
The cross-dressing Dave is very strange. I noticed that you took the time to paint your toenails.
You look good as a blonde.
Make it stop for you?!?!
What about “make it stop for us“???
Gahhh!!!!! My eyes!!!!!
mmmm… banana…
I would definitely pay $20 to see banana/heart underwear Dave. But ball-gag Dave? Hellllllll no!
Please. I kinda suspect that a lot of your mental images involve being naked or dressed naughtily anyway, and that you *don’t* want it to stop at all. And that’s all right. We love you here, just as you are. Now give us our $20.
I wanna be that cute in a bikini.
I think S&M Dave might be one of the funnier things I’ve seen in ages.
If Batman were a pornstar, the first image is pretty much what he’d look like :p
Strangely enough, after I posted about wrong-number callers, I haven’t had a single one since!
Heart/Banana S&M Dave wins!
So, $20 only buys the phone number, right? And then you negotiate? Because if he gets Dom Dave for $20, you seriously need to re-think your rates.
dave has a little heart on