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Posted on Monday, January 30th, 2006

Dave!I don't really care about football because I'm more of a baseball kind of guy with an occasional basketball infatuation (college ball only, because pro basketball doesn't seem to be about basketball anymore). But even then, it's just entertainment and not a reason to go insane.

And yet if you live anywhere in the vicinity of the Pacific Northwest, odds are you are going out of your freakin' mind right now because the Seahawks have finally managed to make it to the SuperBowl. It's a pretty big deal here, or so I gather.

All I know is that every time I turn on a local television station lately, I've got to watch everyday citizens dressed up like clowns and acting like obnoxious douchebags...

Dave Seahawks

People with blue hair. People with green hair. People with painted faces. People yelling and screaming... "WE'RE NUMBER ONE!!" and "STEELERS SUCK!!" — It's kind of like what I envision armageddon is going to be like.

Don't get me wrong. It's not like I have anything against people being all excited and having team spirit for fun... but the idiots that they're always showing on television act like rabid freaks who are in desperate need of therapy. I'll be very glad when football is over, though a bit frightened at the possibility of Seattle losing. I envision the Space Needle on fire and the city engulfed in chaos... the WTO riot of '99 is still fresh in my mind.

Anyway, for the sake of all my fellow Washingtonians who are dying to win the SuperBowl, I'll shout out my obligatory "Go Seahawks!" for the Showdown in Motown.

That's about all I can do, considering that winter storms have caused multiple avalanches on the mountain passes, and westward routes to Seattle are closed until further notice.

In even more disturbing news... whilst flicking through channels last night, I noticed that sicko pervert Pat O'Brien is back to hosting one of those boring Hollywood gossip shows. It is impossible for me to even look at the freak without having those disgusting drunken answering machine tapes playing in my head.

Pat O'brien

Was it too much to ask that he quietly disappear after being released from rehab?? As annoying as he was before all this, he's just plain creepy-scary now.

In other words, he's perfect for politics.

Categories: DaveLife 2006, DaveToons 2006Click To It: Permalink


  1. michaelsean says:

    I must admit to having a little bit of wood over the fact that the Seahawks are finally in the Super Bowl. And as long as people are not painting their balls blue, I am cool with it.

  2. lani says:

    i absolutely loathe football. where i live, it’s all about college football. ugh. imagine people running around yelling, “go cocks!”

  3. Lisa says:

    bleh. Pat O’Brien.

    We’re close enough over here in ideehoe that the “GO SEAHAWKS” weirdness is even trickling down over here. There as close to a local team that we’ve got.

    I mostly don’t care. If I watch the Super Bowl at all its for the snacks and commercials.

  4. amanda says:

    Rest assured that things are equally nuts in Western Pennsylvania…local restaurants are selling sandwiches by the name of “Roethlis-burger” and the Steelers fight song is on the radio every 2.5 minutes. There’s also this truly weird homage floating through e-mail called Steeler Baby that’s this old kewpie doll with a hand-knitted Steelers outfit…people are certifiably nuts here…

  5. Patti says:

    I think the appropriate phrase for both Pat O’Brian and them there crazy sports fanatics is “douchewand”…that’s right…douchewand. For reasons I’m not entirely clear about, I find douchewand to be a more offensive idea than the douche bags. Plus, Pat just looks like he’d volunteer to actually BE one on his days off.

  6. Kevin says:

    Michaelsean, you don’t need to worry about people painting their balls blue. So long as they paint themselves blue and green and constantly rave about their team, the likelihood is that they’re never going to “get any” from their non-football-loving significant others, so their balls will be blue naturally.

    Go Steelers!

  7. MRKisThatKid says:

    What is it with you guys and football. I was a bit mithed at this week’s Family Guy, the main joke of the episode seemed to be to suggest that us English aren’t very good at American Football, but seriously, we haven’t got a single American Football team in this country, not ONE! Do you guys really think we are so bored as to resort to playing such a lame ass game. You’d think by now that american’s would get that it’s the joke of the world that you’re the only country playing the sport and yet call it the world series.

  8. Dave2 says:

    You are confusing football (SuperBowl) with Baseball (World Series)… but the logic applies, as I don’t think that other countries who play baseball are invited to compete for the “World” event.

    As for Family Guy, the entire show is a joke, and I don’t think you can really take it seriously. I mean… it has talking dogs and homicidal babies and stuff…

    I don’t know that I consider football to be a lame-ass game. Touch-football is kind of a fun way to spend an afternoon. It’s just different from soccer, so I guess people who have never played it aren’t going to “get” it. Though, I must say, I am getting to the point where I feel ALL pro-sports are totally lame, because they are more about money, endorsements, and advertising, instead of actually having a love and enjoyment of the game.

    Of course, you Brits have Cricket as a sport…


  9. Naomi says:

    Amanda–I must concur… a friends’ mom (who lives in Pittsburgh) actually answers her WORK line, This is so-and-so, go Steelers.

    To anyone else who cares–on the topic of fanatics: my soon-to-be ex-husband used to threaten divorce when I would wear my white pinstriped suit during baseball season being the die-hard Red Sox fan that he is…I wore it anyways–guess that’s why we’re seperated…

  10. delmer says:

    >>I envision the Space Needle on fire and the city engulfed in chaos… >>I envision the Space Needle on fire and the city engulfed in chaos… >>I envision the Space Needle on fire and the city engulfed in chaos… >>I envision the Space Needle on fire and the city engulfed in chaos… >>I envision the Space Needle on fire and the city engulfed in chaos… >>I envision the Space Needle on fire and the city engulfed in chaos… >>I envision the Space Needle on fire and the city engulfed in chaos… >>I envision the Space Needle on fire and the city engulfed in chaos…

    If Ohio State loses to Michigan … people flip cars and set them on fire.

    If Ohio State beats Michigan … people flip cars and set them on fire.

    Win or lose, it looks like the Space Needle is going up in flames. Maybe they’ll flip it first.

    (Okay, in all fairness to THE Ohio State University — they’ve did a pretty good job keeping things tame this year. There were fewer dumpster fires and maybe zero auto fires.)

  11. jube jubes says:

    You suckers wouldn’t be so pissed @ your teams if they were as awsome as the Patriots!! 🙂
    New England 4 ever!!!

  12. Randy says:

    I am hoping the Seahawks win, mostly to see if the “famed” Super Bowl Stock Market indicator really works.

    Otherwise, I’ve been dissappointed so many times with various teams (I’m origionally from Detroit) now live in California and at one time rooted for the Raiders…need I say more?…I don’t care too much anymore

    Actually, I can root for the Seahawks in pretty good conscience…They seem like a decent team–no known thugs in the bunch.

  13. ChillyWilly says:

    The Howard Stern show plays those Pat O’Brien tapes a lot. Now that his show is on Sirius, they play them uncensored. They were funny the first time, but somewhat annoying now.

    Go Seahwaks!

  14. belinda says:

    You think it will be bad if the Seahawks LOSE? Dude, what if they WIN?

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