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Imposter

Posted on Saturday, December 3rd, 2005

Dave!Turns out some crap-weasle is using my name to endorse products for advertising dollars. And now I have to ask any lawyers out there... can I sue this douche-bag for impersonating me and using Blogography to advertise a mattress that I've NEVER OWNED in an ENTRY I NEVER WROTE?!? Isn't this identity theft? I DON'T ACCEPT ADS OR ENDORSEMENT FEES AT BLOGOGRAPHY! This is a personal choice that may change in the future, but it should at least be MY CHOICE!

Just look at this crap...

Mattressshit

Sorry, but my price for selling out my blog is $25,000. And now I WANT MY FREAKIN' MONEY! I also want to sue for damage to my reputation, identity theft, and the fabulous catch-all: "pain and suffering." You owe me ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS you f#@%tard!!

WTF? I mean seriously... WHAT THE F#@%?!?

Who in the hell thinks it is perfectly acceptable to fabricate a blog entry using somebody else's identity? Shouldn't there be ramifications for this shit? This is MY blog and I F#@%ING CHOOSE WHAT TO WRITE HERE. On April 14th, 2004, I was (ironically) blogging about somebody stealing my identity for spam and Lomo effects on photographs.

But a A MATTRESS?!?

Seriously... do a search for "mattress" on Blogography and see what comes up (other than this entry). I HAVE NEVER EVEN MENTIONED THAT WORD!!

And, while I'm at it... will somebody tell that ass-clown over at "memes.org" to STOP USING MY NAME AND MY CONTENT FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF ADVERTISING STUPID SHIT?? The terms of my Creative Commons license CLEARLY STATE that my stuff can only be taken for NONCOMMERCIAL USE, but all his sites are obviously just frames to support advertising, WHICH IS A COMMERCIAL ENDEAVOR YOU IDIOT! Yet here's an excerpt from one of my entries as picked up on web search...

Abrahamshit

According to his profile, he's a self-proclaimed "expert on corporate blogging, the blogosphere, online social networks, virtual communities, online brand promotion, online brand protection, online brand intelligence, online buzz marketing, and online viral marketing."

I guess all that corporate hype bullshit is supposed to imply that he's some kind of internet marketing genius for hire... which is funny, because he's obviously trying to flood blog trackbacks to get himself links and drive up his Page Rank so he can sell more... except I DON'T HAVE TRACKBACKS ENABLED YOU MORON!

I wouldn't hire the dopey bastard to clean my toilet. "Online Brand Protection?" And how do you accomplish that... by stealing content from others, thus ruining THEIR brands? Just another douche-bag thief who makes money off of other people's hard work without their permission and in violation of copyright laws. Want to advertise crap? Write your own blog you donkey-ball-licking dumbass.

Now get me a lawyer so I can start suing some asses! I am looking for somebody thoroughly unprincipled, unethical, immoral, shameless, corrupt, dishonest, devious, evil, and unscrupulous who will stop at nothing (including death) TO GET ME MY MONEY!! Oh wait... that's pretty much all lawyers isn't it? I never thought that I would be happy about that.

CHAPTER 3: We Wish You a Merry Arson
LEGO ADVENT CALENDAR TOY OF THE DAY: Cherry Picker Ladder
   
Oh noes! The fire that Lego Dave started in a meth lab to prove his fire fighting skills has inadvertently trapped a crack whore inside...
   
The flames grew higher and higher, quickly turning the meth lab into a flaming deathtrap! From the second story window, the crack whore is screaming for help from out of the inferno... "Help! Help" she cries.
   
Lego Dave starts frantically looking around for something that might help him to rescue the drug-addicted prostitute. Luckily, a crew working on the power lines have left their electronic "cherry picker" ladder nearby. Without hesitation, Lego Dave climbs into the bucket and rises into the flames...
Lego Holiday Three
But will the ladder be tall enough?
   
FIND OUT TOMORROW WHEN DAVE'S "A VERY LEGO HOLIDAY TALE" CONTINUES!


Categories: Blogging 2005, LEGOClick To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Randy says:

    Dave I guess this is what happens the more famous you get with your blog. People just want to have a corner of your fame…and in this uncontrolled internet you might be outta luck nailing these guys for any $$ or pain and suffering.

    BTW, how is your new Mac Powerbook? Maybe I missed your review, but wonder how it has gone…

  2. john says:

    find out who hosts the site, tell them that the person is abusing the creative commons license and to take him down. you may also find that the creative commons folk could give you some solid advice if you contact them. just build up your evidence, take screenshots, save the actual sites to your hard drive, and so on.

  3. Chaz says:

    You know what makes this atrocity even more atrocious is the fact that they’re not even posing as you to endorse a cool product. It’s just a crappy mattress, and honestly, who really cares about that? It’s not even a cool mattress like that Tempur-Pedic thing with the funny commercials where people throw eggs at it (because that’s a practical mattress test). I mean why couldn’t they spring for something cooler like say… the Batmobile. Heck, just think of the advertisement… “After getting his own Batmobile, Elizabeth Hurley wanted to be Dave’s baby daddy.” Now that would be cool.

  4. James Bow says:

    This appears to be what has happened:

    The store in question is doing a Google search on Kingsdown, and is indiscriminately posting all the results. And it found this page here:

    > http://www.blogography.com/archives/2004/04/fan_of_the_fann.html

    Take a look in the comments. On July 1, 2004, Geezitron posted the following:

    “I just bought this outrageously expensive Kingsdown mattress and it has given me the best night sleep ever. It’s super dooper squooshy and enormous and just looking at it makes me tired. Maybe a new mattress would help…but I agree with the person who said sex is the best male sleep-inducer!”

  5. Dave2 says:

    Hmmm… a mystery is kind of solved, so thanks!

    Except, while that’s interesting and all, it clearly says “POSTED BY DAVE2″… and I didn’t post that.

    As far as I am concerned, this doesn’t excuse anything. He never asked for permission to use MY NAME or MY BLOG in his advertising. The fact that it’s a Google accident that attributes the quote to me makes no difference. I STILL WANT MY ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR USING MY NAME AND MY BLOG!

  6. Belinda says:

    Remind me never to piss you off. I’d never survive the name-calling. I’d have started crying WAY before you got to “ball-licking dumbass.”

    There’s a one-person plagiarism wave coming to light on lots of blogs, too–by a person who calls herseIf Lizzie and just steaIs entries in their entirety and posts them as her own. Bizarre.

  7. Dave2 says:

    Awwww… really? I would have made you cry?? Are you saying that just to make me feel better? You are so sweet! I can only hope that idiots who steal from other people to make their money are that sensitive… they DESERVE to be crying. :-)

  8. Dave2 says:

    The new PowerBook is good, by the way. I still think that my old TiBook was nicer to look at, but the better graphics and faster processor do have their advantages.

    Overall though… if my TiBook wasn’t dying, I wouldn’t have bought the new Aluminum one. For surfing the internet or email or what I am doing 90% of the time, there’s just no benefit to it.

    And of course, now there’s the rumor of thinner Intel PowerBooks with built-in cameras and other nifty Apple tricks coming in January… but that’s always the case isn’t it? :-)

  9. SJ says:

    One of my blog entries has been stolen, also, for some lameass website called kitchen kaboodle. I have no idea why, because the post they pirated is about shaving my nether regions. And there’s all these ads around it about razor bump relief. What in the HELL does that have to do with kitchen gadgets?!?!?! Never mind, don’t tell me.

    If you know how to stop this kind of bull$#!t, please clue me in.

  10. Kevin says:

    So do you guys just start searching Technorati for random keywords that may or may not be applied to you to find out who has done this or is there some easier way to do it that I’m unaware of? Not that I think anybody would actually steal from little ol’ me, but it’d be cool to find out.

  11. SJ says:

    Kevin, all I did was Google “SuziJane”! In the midst of all the listings by or about me that came up was this one strange one. It only showed up because they actually gave me a byline on the pirated post. God only knows what’s out there UNcredited.

    Frelling lowlife pondscum ratbastards!!!

  12. Dave2 says:

    I have an RSS feed built from “blogography.com” at Technorati. It doesn’t work all the time, but I occasionally get updates, and sometimes those updates show people who have swiped entries or have me on their page from a Google scrape.

  13. Neil says:

    So, it sounds as if I have a business, let’s say Acme Fireworks, and I write a comment on your blog saying, “Shit, Dave, I just used Acme Fireworks and they are the best damn fireworks ever!” — I could now link to you and write “Blogography reviews Acme Fireworks and says they are the best fireworks ever!”

  14. Dave2 says:

    I’m not trying to be difficult here. Honestly I’m not. My blog is freely accessible to all and, if somebody wants to link or quote anything in it (including comments), I have zero problem with it… SO LONG AS IT IS A NON-COMMERCIAL SITE, REFERENCES THE ORIGINAL SOURCE, AND HAS A “SHARE ALIKE” LICENSE FOR OTHERS. This is very clearly explained by my Creative Commons license that is on every page. Any comments my readers leave are governed by the exact same license.

    HOWEVER… if you are A COMMERCIAL SITE (ie, your primary function is to sell something, advertise something, or your blog is for-profit)… you don’t get to quote ANYTHING without permission. You can link all you want, but any material on Blogography (entries, illustrations, photos, comments, trackbacks, whatever) or pieces thereof MAY NOT BE USED WITHOUT PERMISSION… EVER. This INCLUDES stuff you’ve scraped from a search engine or aggregated from my web feeds (and I don’t want to get into the debate as to whether aggregators and search engines are “commercial” so I’ll leave that topic for now).

    Of course there are exceptions. As an example… I am a huge fan of “Kitty Spangles Solitaire” and rave about it often. The good people at Swoop Software asked permission to use a quote for the game, which I granted. They have every right to re-publish material because, even though they are a commercial site, THEY ASKED AND WERE GIVEN PERMISSION.

    Reader comments are a different ball-game. I would most likely NOT grant permission to “Acme Fireworks” because I didn’t write that comment… you did. If Acme wanted the quote, I would have them ask you (if I had a way to contact you). I know some bloggers feel that comments become their property… but I don’t really subscribe to that way of thinking here.

  15. Anonymous says:

    I think you are maybe the hottest guy that ever was – just thought that needed to be said. Not hot like attractive-hot, but like kinda dorky-smart-hot. Anyway, sorry about the fake review thing.

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