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Hart

Posted on Wednesday, December 7th, 2005

Dave!Tonight was a bit of a bummer. I had some errands to run in Wenatchee, and decided to stop by Quizno's for a bite to eat. Despite my love of all things Quizno-Toasty, I don't eat there very often because it's so astoundingly expensive. But it was the least I could do to reward myself for having to brave the cold and crowded streets. Unfortunately, Quizno's has now crossed over the line from "merely expensive" to "total rip-off." Their bread, which used to be of fairly good size, was barely over 2-inches wide on my sandwich tonight! WTF? Was this some kind of freak bread accident, or is Quizno's shrinking the size of their sandwiches on purpose? They sure as heck didn't shrink the price.

As if that wasn't bad enough, it was a fairly mediocre episode of Veronica Mars on this evening. Of course, it's only mediocre when compared to other episodes of Veronica Mars. Compared to all the other crap on television, it's positively brilliant. My one complaint is the lame resolutions for Deputy Leo and Meg, which seems to have been a half-hearted attempt to explain their absences in future episodes.

Fortunately, there was one good thing that happened today... my DVD set for the complete first season of 80's classic Hart to Hart arrived! There's something special about a show that features a massively wealthy couple who are so bored that they travel the world solving mysteries with their dog and their butler. Heaven only knows this is exactly what I would do if I had big money.

Well, that and being able to afford to eat at Quiznos with their new and unimproved skinny bread.

CHAPTER 7: All I Want for Christmas is my Two Left Feet
LEGO ADVENT CALENDAR TOY OF THE DAY: Safe with Precious Gemstones.
   
A stranger named Lego Buzz has appeared on the scene and cut the dead crooked cop into itty bitty pieces...
   
"How is this supposed to help?" Lego Dave asked. "Now instead of one easy-to-carry body we've got a bunch of really gross chunks!"
"Bark! Bark!" added the dog helpfully.
"Chill out buddy!" Lego Buzz replied. "I've got an idea. Grab some parts and follow me!"
   
Gathering bloody meth-addicted chunks of policeman in their arms (and a severed hand in Barky's mouth) the motley crew runs away from the raging crack house inferno just as the fire department arrives.
   
"Quick, in here!" Lego Buzz says as he enters the back door of a jewelry store. "I was breaking into the safe when I saw you guys axe that bad copper across the street!"
Lego Holiday Seven
"And what are we supposed to do with these body parts?" Lego Dave asks as he waves a left foot in the air.
"Easy!" Lego Buzz chirps happily. "We'll put the body pieces in this safe then toss it in the river!"
"Are you nuts?" Lego Dave replied cautiously. "All of this won't fit in that tiny safe!"
"WE'LL PUT THE BODY PIECES IN THE SAFE AND TOSS IT IN THE RIVER I SAY!!" Lego Buzz screamed. "AND I'M GOING TO PUT YOU AND THAT DOG IN THE SAFE TOO! BWAH HA HA HAAAAAH!.
   
Lego Buzz revs up his rotary saw and starts moving slowly towards our hero and his brave canine companion.
"Bark! Bark!" says the dog in alarm, the severed hand dropping from his mouth...
   
Whoa! How is Lego Dave going to get out of this one?
   
FIND OUT TOMORROW WHEN DAVE'S "A VERY LEGO HOLIDAY TALE" CONTINUES!


Categories: Food 2005, LEGO, Television 2005Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Patrick says:

    Lego Dave should have seen this coming. A guy running around with a rotary saw should have raised suspicion…

  2. The Ref, LGC, England says:

    Hart to Hart was one of my all time favourite shows. The butler (Max) kept Mr & Mrs H together. As for Freeway the dog he was the real brains.

    A great show. Must check out Amazon.co.uk to see if I can get a copy…….

  3. Kevin says:

    I’m thinking we may have a new protagonist in this story by day’s end. God I love Lego blood! I wish I had thought of it when I was a kid.

  4. Anthony says:

    What happened to calling him Barky? I love that name. :)

    Damn this story is compelling.

  5. Chaz says:

    Hmmm, Lego Dave is in peril. This is quite bad. I wonder if this is where Lego Dave dies only to go back in time and realize the errors of his past ways. Probably not. That’d be too cliche. Of course, he could wake up only to realize that he was dreaming this whole time, but that’s not really any better. What oh what could happen next?

  6. sandra says:

    You know what I just found out? My best friend from childhood went to high school with Kristen Bell of VM. I’m happy to report that she was really nice, rather athletic and “great in all our plays”.

  7. I totally thought the Quiznos thing was either a local phenomenon or a figment of my imagination… Now I’m starting to wonder why they’re changing what was formerly a good thing!

    PS: I can honestly say I’m too young to even remember Hart to Hart… MUAHAHAHA

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