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Posted on Thursday, November 17th, 2005

Dave!As anybody who has ever called a customer service line can attest, half the battle in getting help is getting transferred to the right person. It seems that every time you call, there's a maze of "press 1 for this" and "press 2 for that" to go through, and most of the time the number you select is either wrong, or leads you to yet another maze of options. It's a horrifying and thoroughly frustrating way to treat people, but that doesn't seem to deter companies from using complicated automated phone menus.

So imagine my surprise this morning when I call a software company because of a problem, only to have an actual REAL-LIVE PERSON answer the phone?

I am so conditioned to having a machine pick up that I think I must have gone into shock. But once I regained my faculties, I was giddy with happiness that I wouldn't have to waste my time pressing buttons and could be connected directly where I needed to go...

Operator Lady: Super Sweet Software Company*, may I help you?
Dave: Uhhh yeah, I'm having problems installing your program.
Operator Lady: Well this is Customer Service, sir, you need to call Technical Support.
Dave: Oh. Uhhh sorry, this is the only number on the pamphlet thingy... can you transfer me?
Operator Lady: No sir, it's an entirely different number. I can give it to you if you're ready.
Dave: Okay.
Operator Lady: (gives number) Thank you for calling Super Sweet and you have a good day!
* Company name changed to protect the innocent.

Okay, not so bad. A little annoying I have to pay for a second non-toll-free call, but whatever. I call the new number...

Operator Lady: Super Sweet Software Company*, may I help you?
Dave: Ah. I think I somehow dialed the wrong number again. I had just called a minute ago and was trying to get Tech Support.
Operator Lady: Yes, this is Technical Support, I'll transfer you now...
Dave: HEY! WAIT A SECOND! Aren't you the same person I just spoke to at the other number?
Operator Lady: Yes sir. Both lines are routed thro--
Dave: Well why didn't you just transfer me the first time?
Operator Lady: We are using call logging to keep count of the number of calls each department receives, sir. You have to call in on the proper line so the count is accurate. Let me trans--
Dave: WHAT? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of... this means your count is already wrong because my first call was to the wrong number! Why not have the phone in Tech Support just keep track?
Operator Lady: (frosty now) Sir, providing you with the number for Technical Support IS a Customer Service Call!!
Dave: You have GOT to be kidding me. If you do--
Operator Lady: SIR! If you want to place a complaint call, I need you to call back on the Customer Service line.
Dave: (head just asploded) No. No. The last thing you want today is another call from me. I'll take Technical Support please.
Operator Lady: I'm transferring you now. Thank you for calling Super Sweet.
* Company name changed to protect the clueless.

I feel like I am trapped in a Dilbert cartoon. Seriously, does anybody know how really, unbearably, remarkably, stupid... STUPID people get in charge of dreaming up this shit? I'd be mad if I didn't find it so gosh-darn funny!

It also doesn't hurt that there was yet another amazing episode of Veronica Mars on last night. I swear I don't know how they manage to be so positively brilliant on that show every single week. I mean, two characters who are on the far periphery of the Veronica Mars universe were given shocking revelations last night that were so seamlessly woven into the main story that you have to wonder how mere mortals can create something so perfect. Who would have thought that they could ever, EVER turn Sheriff Lamb into a sympathetic character in such an unsympathetic way? AND WHAT THE HECK WENT ON WITH DUNCAN AND KENDALL BEHIND CLOSED DOORS?!? GAH!

Speaking of perfect... have you SEEN the spread of Ms. Veronica Mars herself, Kristen Bell, in the latest issue of Giant Magazine? I've scanned some eye candy from my copy to post, but there are more (tiny) shots along with the interview on the Giant Magazine web site.

Better yet, subscribe to Giant at the super-cheap price of just $7.97 a year. It's worth every penny...




Yes. Love me the Kristen Bell.

BLOGDATE: March 2, 2004
In which Dave decides that internet quizzes are lame and decides to invent some quizzes that he'd actually want to take. Unfortunately, Dave failed to impress upon people that these were FAKE quizzes and don't actually exist... which is why he still gets emails asking where the quizzes can be taken to this very day (eventually Dave relented and actually created his own quiz, which practically nobody has ever bothered to take... go figure).
Click here to go back in time...

Categories: DaveLife 2005Click To It: Permalink


  1. Rob says:

    When I first read about you watching Veronica Mars, I thought it was just another regurgitated teeny bopper show that had trapped you. But after watching it a couple of times (because my Tivo was forcing me to) I changed my mind. It IS so much more than that. The Wife was also skeptical, but now she has added it to her Tivo also for the weekly transfer.

    And yes Kristen Bell is a cutie

  2. Kevin says:

    Oh, dear sweet mutha…

    About the Kristin Bell pix, that is. Wow.

    And, please, f#@% protecting the innocent and clueless. You’re talking about Adobe, right?

  3. Dave2 says:

    Oddly enough… no. It was not Adobe.

    This time.

  4. James Deonier says:

    Nice to know that the great Dave is, in fact, a mere mortal; as he too has trouble installing a piece of software.

  5. Dave2 says:


    HAH! I say!

    It wasn’t my fault, it was a problem with their installer!

    Nyah! ๐Ÿ˜›

  6. Randy says:

    Why is the bent-arm-behind-the-head picture so excruciatingly nice???

    I mean, it’s just an elbow…

  7. Randy says:

    Why is the bent-arm-behind-the-head picture so excruciatingly nice???

    I mean, it’s just an elbow…

  8. Dave2 says:

    Really? Elbow you say?

    Fascinating. I attributed that photo looking so nice to her cleavage.

  9. Neil says:

    Can we make a guess to the company? Quark? Macromedia? Microsoft? Any clues? Did this woman have an Indian accent but called herself Mary-Sue?

  10. Dave2 says:

    Nope. Nope. Nope. It’s not a “big name” company… but it is a company that I am quite fond of, which is why I don’t want to slam them in public. They’re products more than make up for their bizarre customer service routine.

  11. Chaz says:

    I tell you, Dave. Your tech support experience is almost too much to believe, but it certainly brought out a good chuckle. Then you were nice enough to top it off with the ever so nice pictures of Kristen Bell. What a pleasant, pleasant post, and thanks to those pictures I’ll be having wet… I mean sweet dreams tonight. Yeah, I know. That was wrong.

  12. Cavan says:

    Best. Tech Support Story. Ever.

    And yeah, Kristen Bell is excellent. I’ve never seen Veronica Mars, but I have an excuse – no cable…I only get six channels. Anyway, I was totally infatuated after seeing her brief role in Spartan. And I can’t wait to see her in that musical version of Reefer Madness.

  13. Anthony says:

    Kristen Bell is so hot. Thanks for the eye candy dave.

  14. SJ says:

    Now this is interesting. Notice that none of your female readers have posted comments thus far. Why do you suppose that is? Perhaps we are all too intimidated by the babelicious Ms. Bell?

    Codswallop! SOME men happen to like their women “built for comfort”!!! :>)

  15. Kevin says:

    This isn’t the company behind that Kitty Solitaire you’re such an advocate for, is it?

  16. CJ says:

    I’m a female reader and I’ll comment: Kristen Bell is gorgeous! I would go gay for her, I’m telling ya.

    Okay, not really, but if those photos bring some new (male) viewers to VM, I’m all for her doing more of those cheesecake pics. She’s as hot as she is talented, and that’s saying a lot.

    Every week I think I can’t love VM any more, but every week, I’m proven wrong. And Kristen’s performance is perfection personified. (Say that three times fast.) Truly, she’s all kinds of good. ‘Tis a pity more people don’t know how good she is.

    But this week’s episode was so f*cked up and weird, I’m not sure what new viewers would think of it. It definitely strayed a bit into Twin Peaks territory, I thought. But as dark as it was, Logan still brought the funny. I’m sorry, did I hurt your feeling? Heh.

  17. CRISTINA says:


  18. Dave2 says:

    Kristen Bell รจ bello. Vorrei avere suo autograph anche!

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