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Crazy

Posted on Saturday, November 5th, 2005

Dave!Today was a bizarre kind of day, which is unusual in itself because all I did was go to work.

Of course, getting to work was a bit of a challenge because my car was iced over and the frost had somehow bonded to my windows. Scraping did nothing, so I had to wait until the defroster could take care of it. Weird that the first frost of the year was so serious.

After four hours of hard work, I needed to go to the post office to mail some T-shirts on my lunch break. Since it was a Saturday, the actual office wasn't open but there was a scary guy going through the mailing supply rack. He was kind of in a trance and kept repeating the same thing over and over again...

Scary Dude: Everybody's got a hungry heart. Everybody's got a hungry heart. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody's got a hungry heart. Everybody's got a hungry heart. Everybody. Everybody...

Thinking he might be stuck, I decided to help out in my best Springsteen impersonation...

Scary Dude: Everybody's got a hungry heart. Everybody's got a hungry heart. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody's got a hungry heart. Everybody's got a hungry heart. Everybody. Everybody...
   
Dave: ...LAY DOWN YOUR MONEY AND YOU PLAY YOUR PART. EVERYBODY'S GOT A HUH- HUH- HUNGRY HEAAAARRRT! ... WHOA OH OH OH OH OHHHHHHH!!

The guy just stared at me for a minute, then went back into his trance. I guess that makes me the crazy one.

After another five hours of slaving away on the job, I'd had enough and decided to go home. Along the way I noticed that gas was at $2.51 a gallon, and decided that was good enough to finally fill up my tank (probably a good thing since I've been running on empty for the past several days). While standing in the freezing cold and driving rain pumping my gas, a guy dressed in a Broncos jacket wandered up to me...

Bronco Dude: Hey man, you got any spare cash?
   
Dave: Uhhh... sorry, I haven't got any cash. I'm having to fill up on my card.
   
Bronco Dude: I really need it.
   
Dave: Um. Yeah... well, sorry I can't help out.
   
Bronco Dude: There's an ATM inside. Can you get some cash?
   
Dave: Errr... no.
   
Bronco Dude: Well that sucks man. That sucks!
   
Dave: Welcome to life on planet earth.

I guess that just goes to show you can never have too much crazy.

And to prove it, I'm going to go drink orange Kool-Aid and watch Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith!


Categories: DaveLife 2005Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. delmer says:

    Once, I was getting ready to start a 6-mile walk home because I didn’t have enough for bus fare. I was at a pay phone when a guy came up and gave me a story and then asked for some money. I dug in and gave him all I had — about 40 cents.

    He looked at the change, then at me, then the change, then at me with a “are you kidding me” look in his eyes.

    He finally left me alone.

    Hmmm. Not my best story. Still, it needed to be told.

    (Wait, on the walk home I was propositioned by another guy.)

  2. JoeBruin88 says:

    I watched Episode III today too!

  3. Belinda says:

    Dave–you really need to know this: You absolutely CAN have too much crazy. Oh, yeah. I tell you this out of love. You may ask me how I know, but it might be best if you just trust me.

    And if that “hungry heart” guy had knocked you on the head and taken my t-shirt, I’d be so aggravated. After I’d made sure you were OK, of course.

  4. Anthony says:

    That song is great, I must get it :)

  5. Chris says:

    Just what I thought – most people in the USA are crazy.

    Good job you’re not though!

  6. karla says:

    I CANNOT believe you are going to watch that heinous movie. Forward to part where Anakin gets burnt to a crisp and then gets put in his suit. That’s the only good part. Fast forward through any part where Miss Whiney What’s Her Face actually speaks.

    I heartily approve of the orange kool-aid, though. Gonna drink from the penis?

  7. Dave2 says:

    I don’t have a Kool-Aid Man mug… and if that’s how you have to drink from it, then I don’t want one!

    The movie did suck as much as I remember, though there are some passable parts (mostly with the emperor and FX). Oh well.

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