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Tripping Day Eight: Seattle

Posted on Sunday, July 17th, 2005

Dave!My flight out of Hartford BDL was delayed because the inbound flight from Detroit was late. Apparently, there was some serious weather going on there. That worked out just fine because my flight from Detroit to Seattle was delayed as well.

And this was made exponentially worse because of the drama queen at the Northwest gate counter. Actually, there were two drama queens, but one woman was so horrendous that I think she might actually qualify as a "drama whore." You'd have thought this bitch was curing cancer the way she was going on and on and on about every little thing. This is astoundingly stupid, because this type of activity only upsets the customers more than they already are. Gate agents need to stay calm, cool, and collected so that everybody feels the situation is under control. By freaking out and carrying on about things as if the world were ending, you may feel more important... but you just look like a complete tool. What an embarrassment to the truly professional gate agents that know how to handle their job.

Northwest needs to hire "Drama Monitors" that can go around the airport bitch-slapping those idiots who feel the need to add drama to their jobs when none is required.

But all that paled in comparison to the dumbass douche-bag pig-f#@%er that I had to fly home with on my last leg. He was one of those "corporate buzzword idiots" that uses words like "people networking" and "synergy" and "empowerment" when blathering on in his mobile phone about absolutely nothing. And then it wasn't enough that he had to take up the entire arm-rest... he had to stick his elbow into my seating area as well. And then, since he is obviously the most important person in the universe, he felt it was okay for him to turn on his Blackberry to try and retrieve messages during the flight (Federal regulations mean nothing to somebody whose job is Synergy Empowerment... or whatever). Whilst navigating the parking lot, I had the opportunity to run down this dumbass douche-bag pig-f#@%er, but felt I would probably have a better chance at a good night's sleep in my own bed instead of a jail cell.

Movie Quotable of the Day: "You are such a pig f#@%er, Phillip!"
Day-Before-Yesterday's Answer: Bedazzled (2000) with Elizabeth Hurley, Elizabeth Hurley, and Elizabeth Hurley.

Categories: Travel 2005Click To It: Permalink


  1. ssp says:

    You’d probably save a lot of words if you only wrote about the trips without such encounters.

    As for checking e-mail on the plane… keeping in mind that most situaions which look like people are mean bastards are actually caused by them being stupid, you should assume that the guy just didn’t know that technically checking his mail is about the same as making a phone call.

    P.S. What about changing the record cover at the left? It’s been there for ages.

  2. HeideH says:

    Dave, a lay over in Detroit and you didn’t even say hello??? Remember, you need to see the big tire : )

  3. Dave2 says:

    Unfortunately, my trips are ALL those encounters. People really are rude bastards.

    I’d thought about changing the album cover, but I don’t know what I’d change it TO. New stuff comes along, but it never lasts… whereas I always find myself coming back to Major Earth, Minor Sky. I think there’s a plug-in that will change the image based on what is playing on my iTunes, so maybe I’ll check into that.

    My layover in Detroit was for about 35 minutes. I didn’t have time to see the big tire!

  4. Patrick says:

    I don’t know if I should consider myself lucky that I don’t travel as much as you do. Or is it just the wonderful people that inhabit the same continent as you do?

    The movie quote has to be “South Park, the movie”.

  5. Ben says:

    My dads flight was delayed as well. Must be something in the air.

    And I bet that guy is a one of those ‘GTD-wank’ types. I’m sure they employ more empty buzzwords (like ‘todo list’ and ‘prioirt’) per capita then and other cultist group out there (except the followers of the Church of Moleskine).

  6. delmer says:

    Up until this moment I didn’t realize that was an album cover — I obviously missed the “listening” header. Just the other day I was wondering what Dave’s interest in aircraft nose assemblies was (I wish I were kidding, I’m not.) You would have theought that A-Ha would have tipped me off.

    Regarding Drama Whores: Just after 9/11 someone threw a package into the lobby of Children’s Hospital in Columbus and dashed away. Reports suggested the thrower had a middle eastern look to him.

    The hospital was evacuated, at least as much as it could be. My wife and one of our children were out front waiting to get back in while a Drama Whore walked around playing “What if” … what if it blows up … what if they come back with guns … you know the type.

    My spouse explained to the woman that she wasn’t really helping and maybe she could calm down.

    Drama Whores, of course, don’t want anything to do with calming down.

    (Due to this event, my wife missed the noon deadline to return a video to Blockbuster. As she explained to the 18-year old clerk what happened the clerk, with a tone in her voice that said “bullsh*t”, said, “Well, let’s hope THAT doesn’t happen again.”)

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