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Dvorak

Posted on Thursday, July 28th, 2005

Dave!John C. Dvorak is a long-time Macintosh basher that has been predicting the demise of Apple for years. He's also a long-time tool, but that's beside the point. People listen to the ass-wipe because PC Magazine continues to publish his bullshit. His most infamous attack on Apple was when he declared that the Mac should be "discontinued" and Apple do something different. Never mind that the Mac is a highly profitably chunk of business for Apple, Dvorak is Dvorak, and stupid shit like this gives him the attention he craves so badly. Like I said, he's a tool.

But now the Mac faithful are all in a tither because Dvorak's latest column slams Microsoft's next OS release ("Windows Vista") as "the end of the line for Microsoft's dominance in the OS business." He then goes on to say that "the Mac OS is already better than Windows in its modern look and feel as well as its functionality" and "I see too many smart people with Mac laptops nowadays." This follows still other Apple-friendly jibes that would almost lead you to believe that Dvorak is changing his stripes.

Personally, I don't buy it.

Dvorak can safely slam Windows NOW, because "Vista" is over a year-and-a-half away. Basically, he's attacking vapor until Microsoft ships the product, so what's the danger?

But once "Vista" is released... even if it's total shit... Dvorak will undoubtedly change his tune...

Dvorakbites

If I were more talented, I would have drawn Dvorak blowing Gates at the same time as eating his shit. Not that I blame Dvorak. I'd blow Gates for his couch money (well, assuming he's lost a couple of million in pocket change down there)... but I'm not a journalist, so whatever.

Anyway, once "Vista" is finally unleashed, Dvorak will be all "Windows was worth the wait" and "surely the Mac is dead now" and "no other OS experience can touch it" - yadda yadda yadda. He's an attention whore, willing to say anything to make waves and grab the spotlight. Today it's bashing Microsoft because it's safe to do so. Tomorrow it will be something else. A year-and-a-half from now, he'll be back to Mac bashing again.

It's what he does.

So to any Macintosh fans thinking that the battle has been won, I'm sorry to say we're most certainly not that lucky. I think that day won't come until Dvorak is dead. DEAD LIKE THE WIND!!!

Err... you know what I mean.

Movie Quotable of the Day: "Bill, I don't know if it's the clothes on the floor or you... but something in here definitely needs to be hosed down."
Yesterday's Answer: Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979) with William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy.

Categories: Apple Stuff 2005Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Annette says:

    great graphics :-0 …. but, uh, Dave… sick, you are sick! I think you’ve been working too many hours.

  2. Rob says:

    Nice cartoon Dave. I’ve seen Vista. And it’s exactly like you pictured up there. A big log of POO. I’m so happy i switched.

  3. melina says:

    i am stuck with windoze at work…this was just what i needed when i heard about “vista”. awesome!

  4. Neil T. says:

    Read Dvorak’s Creative Commons article that was posted recently. To say he’s missed the clue train is an understatement.

  5. Kevin says:

    Vista?!?! I thought it was Longhorn? What happened to Longhorn? The possibilities for creative insulting were so much better with a name like Longhorn. Damn!

    Disturbing graphic, Dave. I’m scarred.

  6. Craig says:

    I don’t know which has scarred me more, watching you change (GAP) or seeing this cartoon.

  7. Hey freak boy. Find one instance where I ever thought much of Windows — now or whenever. You are a total turd with no clue yourself a-hole.

  8. Dave2 says:

    If, in fact, you are Dvorak… you are completely missing the point. It has nothing to do with your liking Windows or not liking Windows, it has everything to do with your past history of spreading FUD on the Mac and stirring up controversy. You attack the Macintosh platform, say it should be “put down like a dog” and are now somehow surprised that a Mac lover could possibly be skeptical that you’ve changed your tune? As I said, I don’t buy it. Vista is just the excuse you’ll need to get the Mac faithful riled up again and start going back to the “Macs are dead” rhetoric that gives you the attention you apparently crave so badly. Please… I’m begging you… prove me wrong. I will GLADLY write an apology if you can somehow resist the temptation.

    Oh… and I’M the a-hole? Please. What kind of an a-hole are you to use your influence to try and kill off the Mac, then turn around and use the Mac as a jibe against Microsoft… all so that you can sell a magazine?

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