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Gangsta!

Posted on Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005

Dave!This was not starting out to be a very good day. Which is not surprising considering how my evening went yesterday. It all started as I was driving home for work... a nice drive through town, minding my own business. When all of a sudden I notice some white chick in cornrows flipping me off with an obscene gesture while two of her skanky friends watched. Ordinarily I would just think to myself "whatever" and keep driving, but this time was different. I slam on the brakes, open my window and shouted "WAS THAT JUST A RANDOM ACT OF DEFIANCE, OR DID I DO SOMETHING TO PISS YOU OFF?!?" She was genuinely startled for a second, but quickly regained her composure and shouted back "f#@% OFF A$$HOLE, I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!!" To which I shouted back "ALRIGHTY THEN... CARRY ON YA GANGSTA-BITCH WANNABE!!" This caused her friends to crack-up laughing, which threw her into a rage of obscenities.

I ignored her and drove off, but then got to thinking about how sad it is that some small-town cracker white girl can honestly think that randomly flipping people off and shouting obscenities while done-up in cornrows makes her bad-ass cool. If she were to ever encounter a real gangsta-bitch, her pasty white ass would be served to her on a platter. I'd love to fly her down to East L.A. and drop her off on a random street corner and see how many minutes she could survive. Call me a horrible person, but THAT would be a great idea for a reality television series!

Things just went downhill from there. By the time I was ready for bed, I was so freaked out that I ended up taking a sleeping pill so I could manage a few hours sleep. Naturally, this meant I woke up in a drugged-out haze. At least I was in a drugged-out haze until I stubbed my toe on the bookshelf. Then I banged my head in the shower. Then I jammed my elbow putting on my shirt. Then I couldn't find my security key dongle for LightWave. Then I forgot what I had done with my lucky hat. Eventually I made it out the door, but I was not a happy camper.

After getting to the office and checking my email, I notice a message from a friend who is a fellow graphic designer that said "IM ME RIGHT NOW DAMMIT!!" Thinking that it was some kind of joke, I replied "Yeah, I'm me right now too dammit!!" Within seconds of pressing the "send" button, his reply hits my inbox... "IM = Instant Message you dork. Turn on iChat!!" And so I did. Turns out he ran into a tricky design problem and needed some advice on how to handle it. Fortunately, things like this are easy to solve with a little face-to-face video chat, and we managed to figure everything out in a few minutes.

After expressing his gratitude for my assistance, he went on to say "I hope you get your PowerBook back soon... you're looking a little grumpy today."

Grumpy Dave

Hmmm... I do look a little grumpy today in a serial-killer kind of way. But all that changed the minute I looked up the repair status for my PowerBook...

Unit Shipped!

AppleCare is da bomb! Can you believe it? One day turn-around repairs!! This means I just might get her back tomorrow (which is the best birthday present I could ask for!). Of course, from previous experience, I have learned never to count on Airborne/DHL for on-time delivery... but, at the very least, I should have my laptop back in time for the weekend.

Now I can't seem to wipe the smile off of my face. It's going to be a good day after all.

Movie Quotable of the Day: "C'mon, he's insane! Look, right now he's probably dancing around in his grandma's panties... yeah, rubbing himself in peanut butter."
Yesterday's Answer: Rambo: First Blood (1982) with Sylvester Stallone and Brian Dennehy.

Categories: Apple Stuff 2005, DaveLife 2005Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Ben says:

    Wonder we will find out that their are actually 47000 different daves, hence the different pictures! :)

    I like your idea, and even though of a name for it: Survivor: East L.A. Orginal, I know?

    Hey, it’s only early.

  2. MRKisThatKid says:

    This is going to sound so mean condsidering the tone of the piece but the “IM ME RIGHT NOW DAMMIT” part had me in hysterics! So thanks for the chuckle.

    Oh and i hope you copyrighted your idea because it’s probably being discussed in a fox board meeting as i type this.

    Se7en i believe?

  3. Patrick says:

    Soon we are celebrating a birthday, we are?

  4. Dave2 says:

    More of me? I think one is enough. All the pictures are absolutely me, though I think I look equally dopey in all of them.

    It would certainly not surprise me to see “Survivor East L.A.” on the air. Though they did something similar on “The Chappelle Show” with an episode of the REAL “Real World.” Funny, funny stuff.

    And, alas, yes… tomorrow is my birthday. Another year older and none the wiser. :-P

  5. I was going to ask how old you were turning this year but then I thought about it and decided to poke around, find the answer for myself –

    Your 100 things is the most fascinating 100 Things list I have ever read. It’s so random and informative at the same time.

    Ten points to you.

    And happy birthday, of course.

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