NOTE TO SELF: Do not attempt blogging while intoxicated. It just isn't going to work out well for anybody involved.

I remember (kind-of) being really proud of myself for being able to compose such a coherent entry while completely bombed last night. Looking back, I can see that this was a rather large misconception. My first instinct was to delete it, but I decided not to for three reasons: 1) Everybody has probably already seen it by now anyway. 2) I worked really hard on it and think it took me about 45 minutes to get all of that typed out. 3) I think it is one of my best entries at Blogography... I should get drunk more often.

Anyway, here's a slightly better account of Saturday, if you care to read it, in an extended entry after today's movie quote.

The drive over Blewett and Snoqualmie passes to Seattle normally takes about 2 to 2-1/2 hours depending on traffic. I left my apartment at 9:00am and didn't arrive until 12:30, so the winter storm added a good hour+ to my drive time. Since I am used to driving in such conditions, I can honestly say that the roads were not that bad. The problem is that you have some stupid, stupid, people who can't drive in the snow, are not prepared to drive in the snow, and shouldn't be there in the first place, messing it up for the rest of us (especially if they are going to ignore signs telling you "traction tires required" and "trucks must use chains").

It got so bad that, as I came down Snoqualmie, I saw that snowplows were blocking people from even entering in the opposite direction. Hundreds of cars were backed up for miles, and I would later learn that the pass was closed for several hours while they tried to get everything cleaned up.

During my drive, I was so shocked at the shear number of accidents that I started photographing each one and making a quick voice notation to myself...

1. Jeep slid off the road in a ditch. Amazing how people with 4-wheel drive think that they can drive like maniacs when simple physics will tell you that four wheels can slide on ice just as easily as two.
2. Two-car collision. Why do people follow so closely when the roads are icy? You're just begging to rear-end somebody!
3. Honda Civic stuck in a snow bank. I think they must have been about to rear-end the car ahead of them, and managed to skid off the road instead.
4. Black car spun around, half-blocking left lane.
5. Small red car violently run off road. Traffic was backed up for at last a mile (photo A), while paramedics and State Patrol tended to the accident (photo B) and, unfortunately, loaded up the deceased driver in a body bag into the back of what I think is a coroner's van (photo C). Sad, sad sad... and so very senseless.
6. Tan Corvette stuck trying to get back to the road (photo D). Not only is this car totally inappropriate for driving in snow this bad (and didn't look to have proper tires), the lady driving it had NO idea how to drive in the snow. She was gunning the engine, which does nothing more than spin-out the tires and make a slick surface even slicker. HELPFUL WINTER DRIVING TIP: Keep a big bag of kitty litter in your trunk. If you get stuck, liberally put kitty litter down in front of whichever tires are driving the forward motion, then VERY SLOWLY drive forward (drive too fast, and you'll just be spitting kitty litter everywhere without moving). The kitty litter will give you traction and allow you to get moving again. The poor lady driver was really upset, and obviously crying. I honestly did feel badly for her, but I wasn't going to get myself stuck trying to help her out. Let her wait for a tow-truck.
7. U-Haul van without traction tires stuck in the ice, sliding off the road.
8. Volkswagon Rabbit slid into median from traffic coming the opposite direction.
9. Brown pick-up without traction tires unable to move on ice, blocking entire right lane.
10. Stupid trucker who thinks that the sign saying "TRUCKS: CHAINS REQUIRED" didn't apply to him finding out he was wrong, wrong, wrong (photo E). Good luck trying to get them on now that you're stuck in a snow bank, dumbass.
11. Another stupid trucker who thinks mandatory chain usage is for everybody but him (photo F).
12. Black pick-up rear ending a white car.
13. White car spun around in right lane, blocking traffic.
14. And another stupid chain-less trucker.
15. And yet still ANOTHER stupid trucker who thought he didn't need chains (photo G).
16. Another car spun off the road, once again in the left lane (photo H). Probably tried to go too fast while passing somebody and lost control.

Time for a couple games of COSMIC BOWLING. Since I arrived late, I had to make up some missed frames and (more importantly) missed drinks. If you've never experienced COSMIC BOWLING, it's like bowling inside of the movie TRON. It's dark, lit with black lights, and decorated with glow-in-the-dark accents. As if that weren't enough, there's loud music, lasers, a disco ball, and colored strobe lights. And, just like the characters in TRON, your bowling balls and shoes have funky parts that glow under the black lights. This means that when you look down the alley, you see glowing feet and bowling balls bouncing up and down the lanes. Surprisingly, despite all the distractions and my increasing alcohol content, I still managed to bowl a 142 and a 125. I'm kind of proud of that.

After food-shopping and drinking, dinner and drinking, games and drinking, and blogging and drinking, it's off to the casino for music and drinking, darts and drinking, and blackjack (without drinking... but it didn't matter, I still ended up losing $20). I passed out went to bed sometime around 2:00am, and slept a pleasant 7 hours... awaking with only a slight headache and heartburn.

The drive back home was no problem, seeing as how the mountain pass roads were snow and slush-free. Now I'm going to take a nap.