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Posted on Wednesday, February 9th, 2005

Dave!If you've read my "100 Things About Me" page, you will know that I am not a big believer in astrology or any of that crap (see item #4). But I will admit that I find the Chinese Zodiac to be eerily accurate in describing my personality and whatnot. Since Girl On A Glide has asked "what's your sign?" - I though I might as well put it out there and let people draw their own conclusions.

Fire Horse

As it turns out, I am a Fire Horse. From what I've read, this is a pretty good sign if you are a guy, but a very bad sign if you happen to be a woman. In Asia, girls born as Fire Horses are considered unlucky to the family who bore her, and catastrophic to any man who is unfortunate enough to fall in love with her (as her sign is thought to be an overly-assertive troublemaker). This is odd, because those are exactly the traits I seem to attract in a woman. You can read all about that in this extended entry if you should so choose...

Here's all about Fire Horses:

  • "A flamboyant and itinerant Horse with a superb intellect and great personal magnetism. He tries to bring about the changes he desires through force and sheer willpower." - Flamboyant doesn't really describe me, but that "superb intellect" stuff is right on the money! And I guess my desire for total world domination would be covered by the rest of it.
  • "This is a double Fire sign (Fire also being the Horse's fixed element), and it will produce a native who is highly excitable and hot-blooded." - This is the part I have the most problem with. I am one of the calmest people I know... especially in a crisis. As a lover, however, I am indeed hot-blooded and fiery with passion!! (at least that's how I describe myself when making a call to a 976 number).
  • "The Fire Horse is easily distracted and is too inconsistent to stick to repetitive tasks. He has flair, wit and charm but his continuous stream of bright ideas makes him extremely volatile." - It's true I am very much easily distracted. In fact, as I have been typing this sentence, I have also been booking hotels and car rentals for my next trip, having an online chat with a friend in New York, and calling in a prescription for my migraine. I will also admit to being very witty and charming, but my lack of ego and my modest disposition makes such a thing exceedingly difficult for me. As for flair, I am wearing my required 37 pieces.
  • "His personality is many-faceted and he requires a great deal of spice and variety in his life. He is happiest leading a double or triple life or having several professions to his credit." - And this is why I became a globe-trotting international spy who uses an obsession with the Hard Rock Cafe as a cover story while assassinating world leaders and other espionage-related activities. Oh dear... now I suppose I will have to kill you for reading that. Sorry. Hmmm... is that somebody knocking at your door just now?
  • "He will love to travel, anticipates action and change and works most efficiently when put in charge. He rarely accepts supervision from others, even his superiors." - And if that doesn't sum me up in a sentence, I don't know what does. Trust me, once I've taken over the planet you will be much better off... I promise.
  • "The Fire Horse is a thrill-seeker. He can sort out and deal with all kinds of people and situations within a minute's notice. He is skillful at resolving sticky affairs but is not above being argumentative." - My thrill-seeking days of skydiving, scuba diving, bungie juping, and all that are pretty much behind me (unless you consider my travels to be "thrill-seeking"). Though one of the things I appreciate about my life is that I often DO take off at a moment's notice and am adept at handling a variety of situations with ease. It's one of the few perks of being me I think (well, that and my talents as a hot-blooded lover!).
  • "This type of Horse will have the gifts of ingenuity and resourcefulness but not perseverance." - Which is why I probably haven't taken over the world yet... I need to work on that perseverance thing.
  • "The animated and affable Horse is said to be very susceptible to the perils of love. He could easily lose everything if he falls head over heels in love. Consequently, he may have many affairs that end unhappily or even several marriages and divorces." - Yeah, well, I already have lost everything because of falling head-over-heels in love, so I guess that's buying into my destiny.
  • "He keeps odd hours. A Horse is unable to stick to schedules not of his own making and has a lack of respect for standard procedures. When an idea strikes him, he will work around the clock without eating or sleeping. Then, when things are lax in the office, he is not above taking the day off to play hookey." - And that pretty much sums up my work ethic. Exactly.
  • "The best partners for the Horse will be the Tiger, Dog and Sheep." - So if you're a real Tiger in the sack, then please do give me a call! I'm not really sure I am up for dating a Dog... though, at this point, perhaps I shouldn't be so picky. I think I pretty much draw the line at Sheep, however.
  • And there you have it. My entire persona laid bare by the stars.

    Movie Quotable of the Day: "I can't believe what a bunch of nerds we are. We're looking up 'money laundering' in the dictionary."
    Yesterday's Answer: Legally Blonde (2001) starring Reese Witherspoon, Luke Wilson, and Selma Blair.

    Categories: DaveToons 2005, Memes 2006Click To It: Permalink


    1. Rachel says:

      Whoa nelly. That is serioiusly scary that the sign know who you are (note the sarcasim). What next, are you going to receive messages from the future in you AlphaBits?

    2. kazza says:

      Officespace for the quote? Inspired by the pieces of flair? 🙂

    3. Dave2 says:

      Yep! Office Space is a classic, and one of my favorites.

    4. Neil T. says:

      Surely that should be a Fire-fox? 🙂

    5. karla says:

      I am a Monkey sign. This is problematic for me as: I am almost phobic about monkeys and all things of that ilk. (Think scary furry clowns. Eek.) So I don’t think Chinese astrology is all that right on for me. My other sign is Leo, and that DOES fit, however.
      Major props on the 37 pieces of flair.
      Now we must war over who gets to dominate the world. Swords, pistols or nukes?

    6. Dave2 says:

      Sadly, there is no fox in the Chinese zodiac. That would be cool though!

      And I think monkeys are cool! In fact, a fire monkey is probably the coolest sign there is! I want to be a fire monkey.

      I prefer the Dr. Evil approach to world domination, so we would have to battle with hot magma or sharks with lasers on their heads or something.

    7. Chris says:

      Where did you find out Dave? I’m curious about me.

    8. Dave2 says:

      Here is the most popular place it seems:

      And you can get further information here:

    9. fire horse woman! says:

      well…hmmm as i was researching my torrid and karmic past to understand my romantic underpinnings and somewhat strange ways of working in the world i stumbled on your fire horse confessions..
      i think as a FH man you should claim the fullness of your chinese zodiac and be very happy you are not a woman! although as i get older I am beginning to appreciate my revolution-airy ideas…no wonder those asian men of old did not want fire horse women..we cannot be controlled!

      but….are there any tigers out there!?

    10. dave 3 says:

      Well from another dave fire horse I can only back up & support everything you say dave 1.
      Now why do we fire horse daves not band together to take over the world. Oh.. probably because we will get bored once the opposition dies out.

      interesting how we all know some little secret about the numeric 37 isn’t it.

      best wishes Dave 3

    11. Sam says:

      A truly momentous discovery. Until now I have lived in complete ignorance of the cruel circumstances of my birth!
      What a discovery – I am a female Fire Horse. No, actually, I AM A FEMALE FIRE HORSE.
      That’s me your describing! I’m astounded. I have never been one for horoscopes but I wish I had read this 20 years ago.
      Still, its not all bad! Dave – are you still single?

    12. Alex says:

      A second FEMALE FIRE HORSE in your site Dave !
      Too much badluck… 🙂
      I was born to be free and rebel as well and I like horses features.
      Horses rules !

    13. jeff says:

      Yet another fire-horse here. Odd. I don’t remember authoring this page…

    14. adena says:

      I am bored and going back in people’s archives and reading meme’s. I really should be cleaning. So, you see why I’m reading memes.

      Anyhow…it appears I am a Wood Tiger. Not sure what that means. It’s not completely accurate w/ it’s description. Ah well.

      I don’t really buy into astrology, either…but, I think that my traditional sign is more like my personality. (Cancer)

    15. Dave2 says:

      “Wooden Tiger, Flaming Horse” would be a great name for a Hong Kong martial arts pic!

    16. adena says:

      Or porn. 🙂

    17. Dave2 says:

      Horse as a porn name? I don’t think th–

      Oh. Never mind. 🙂

    18. telly says:

      yo dave! interesting … not applying as a partner, am here because i’m a fire horse myself .. yup check on the travel, check on thrill-seeking bit (scuba diving,surfing, staring up at bungee jumping in NZ included?hehehe) … was just reading about fire horses as a friend told me i am very fire horse … and voila came accross your blogography .. hope you are well mr. horse — telly, manila

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