Last night I was trying to figure out the last time I saw a movie in a theater. I ended up thinking that it was probably the Taylor Swift Eras Tour movie back in 2023. It was my first time seeing a movie after the pandemic started, and I haven't wanted to go back since.
Which is not surprising given how much I loathe the theater "experience." People are rude assholes, and paying big money to be trapped in a building with a bunch of them is not my idea of fun. At least not any more. Back in the 80's and 90's I went to the theater all the time. After that, it had to be a really good film to drag me to the cinema. Eventually I was mostly only going for the latest Marvel movies, and that was the end of it.
Except for Taylor Swift, of course.
And I'd probably grant an exception for this "COSM Shared Reality" experience if it ever came to town...
Right now there's two films in release that seem almost inconcievable that I'm skipping... Superman and Fantastic Four. Both of them look to encapsulate everything I love about movies. But, much as I'd love to see them ASAP, I'm content to wait it out because the idea of having to go to the theater fills me with a dread and loathing that's insurmountable.
And that got me to thinking what would be a film that could get me to leave the house to see?
Spinal Tap II: The End Continues? Or Project Hail Mary? Or Avengers: Doomsday? Or Avatar: Fire and Ash? Maybe. But... probably not.
One movie that most definitely won't be enticing me to the theater is Now You See Me: Now You Don't which looks even more stupid than the previous two installments (something I didn't think was possible). There's no magic here. It's just shitty special effects with even shittier dialogue...
It's like they're not trying to provide even the illusion of magic.
Remember the amazing series Deception which was a magic-based caper show that actually gave a shit about making the tricks look possible?
Dang was I sad they canceled that show.
Instead we get millions of dollars poured into piles of shit like another Now You See Me flick.
Oddly enough, if they ever made a Deception movie to tie up the cliffhangers they left us with, I actually would go to the theater.
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I don’t normally disagree with you on things, but I’m excited to see this when it comes out.
And also, Superman was awesome in IMAX…
Um… I don’t think you’re allowed to disagree with me! And, now that you mention it… if I didn’t have to drive three hours to the nearest IMAX theater, THAT might actually get me to see movies in the theater more often!