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The innocence of youth… or not.

Posted on Wednesday, March 27th, 2024

Dave!Facebook memes are often more amusing to me than they probably should be. What can I say? I'm easily amused.

I especially like those memes asking you to score yourself on all the debauchery, danger, and mishaps you've had in life. Partly because people assume that I'm some kind of choirboy or something, but that's never been the case. Not necessarily because I seek these things out... but because they somehow find me.

The latest I ran across asks you to score a point for each thing you haven't done...

Give yourself a point for each thing you HAVEN'T done.

I end up with a whopping total of... two points.

  1. Skipped school. I skipped school more times than I can count. And it wasn't because I was "hanging out with the wrong crowd" or whatever... it was because school was so boring to me. So some days I just wouldn't go. Which was easy because both my parents worked. And because I got pretty good grades nobody really found out or cared.
  2. Broken a bone. Never have. I did saw into my thumb bone with a hacksaw though. And because I had frostbite when I was a kid, I couldn't feel pain. I only knew what happened when I saw the hacksaw blade covered in blood. Oops.
  3. Fired a gun. I was raised in Redneckistan and got my NRA Gun Safety training and everything. Haven't touched a gun since 1986 though, because I decided to try and live my life more in accordance with Buddhist precepts, and it's forbidden in the traditions of the Buddhism I follow.
  4. Done drugs. Marijuana is legal in Washington State. As to whether I did drugs before that? No comment.
  5. Been in a limo. Several times. My sister is fond of hiring them when a group of us is going out... and I was in them often with my work.
  6. Gotten a tattoo. I have nine now. Want more. Will probably get more.
  7. Ridden a horse. I've ridden horses, camels, and elephants at one time or another.
  8. Sung karaoke. I used to work in Japan. It's a very common group activity there. I'm terrible at it, however. And then there was the serious karaoke accident I had in Stockholm where I fell off the back of the stage and cut my chin open.
  9. Gotten a ticket. Four speeding tickets. AND I DESERVED NONE OF THEM!!
  10. Been arrested. I've been detained, but not arrested. And it was over something that had nothing to do with me, I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Seriously thought I was going to be arrested based on how I was treated though. Guilty until proven innocent, and all that.
  11. Gone zip-lining. I've been a few times. It can be fun, depending on the location. I think my favorite is the one down Vegas Old Town under that lighted canopy they have.
  12. Been on TV. I've been interviewed a couple times to comment on a project the charity I worked with was involved in.
  13. Been on a cruise. My mom loved them. So I've been on a half-dozen.
  14. Gotten a piercing. Had my ear pierced in college for years. One day it fell out and got lost, so I left it out.
  15. Smoked. I smoked because I was in a crowd that smoked. But after six months or so, I just couldn't do it any more because I felt sick more than anything else.
  16. Met a celeb. I've met many. Several band members from bands I like. A lot of TV and movie celebrities at conventions. Occasional random encounters from when I was working in L.A. But it's not like we ever hung out or went shopping or anything.
  17. Been skydiving. I went tandem skydiving with a friend. I liked it, so I went back for lessons. Got my certificate after my graduation dive and never felt the need to jump out of an airplane again.
  18. Had a one-night stand. And each time I had a one-night stand, there ended up being a pretty good story attached to it. Except once. Which was one of my very few regrets in life. I was a tool for revenge and didn't even know it. Had no way of knowing it. Even so, I still feel like crap because of it.
  19. Skinny-dipped. In the Ocean off Maui at night.
  20. Been drunk. BWAH HA HA HA HAAAA!
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Categories: DaveLife 2024Click To It: Permalink


  1. kapgar says:

    Seven for me. Wow. I’m shocked it’s so high. May need to steal this for a post.

  2. Christopher Stogdill says:

    I have a non-positive integer….

  3. Mine is seven: fired a gun, ridden a horse, been arrested, been on tv, been on a cruise, gotten a piercing, been skydiving. It’s safe to say at age 50 I’m pretty sure I’m gonna be ok not ever doing those things.

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