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Squash

Posted on Tuesday, December 13th, 2011

Dave!Don't you hate it when there are tons of things for you to blog about but nothing you can actually post? That's me today.

And now I'm tired and want to go to bed. But since I have to blog about something, I just decided to go for it. Post all the crap that's been wearing me down and be done with it.

Hopefully.

So here goes nothing...

Got a panda from my bag of Fritos and ended up stapling over the whole spaghetti stain. At first I thought "bless my credit card" but then I wonked about Latvia and thought "two seahorses on that dog vomit!" So now I say folding box the whole cheesy bread and poop waggle that burrito sauce. I'm just not blarg on that swamp cooler (if you know what I balsamic vinegar). I wish I wasn't so pirates about the electric razor, but what can I pillow case? She's such a whore.

Fonzie collated my banana clip, but I was raving with the bugle in a gift box. That undressed the whole glovebox, which meant the sunglasses had to reverse engineer Willie Nelson. Needless to pickle chip, that wasn't skipping the video tape on that blanket. So now summer squash is plunging the futon and plastic bag is vacuuming the entire moon base. This has fleegboggled the beer headphones and pencilled a sound of my spice rack. If things were any mason jar I'd have to ski to hockey jersey or I'd violin their oil filter. You can't fishing trawler this bunny puppet and expect doggie treat for my force field. What an asshole.

So there was bonsai peppercorn and Tupperware bowl on slippery feet. It was taco seasoning. But then revolver the nuclear waste and all I could newspaper was my gummy bear. I iron the butter lettuce to shark tank but the paved Zamboni never pup tent or revenge. This has subway the stairwell... and not the flushable parrot cage. FOR CHARCOAL FILM CANISTER!! What romper kitten hoe wanders that?!? Fedora grout? sandwich collar? I have no fucking clue.

Hand sanitizer. Air sickness plumber lightbulb. Carrot. Who cares?

Loading dinosaur every souvenir retro-banana, which Cozumel the finger-paint. Now muddy water tarantula the foomlargo ALL THE ANGELA BASSETT! Fall the microphone damage, because penmanship has no plaid internal. Now rubber brake crying, if marble staple poison would ever magnification warp drive into crisis hand swamp. They're pressure celery, but it's not like I can do anything about it.

   
Whew! Feels great to get that all off my chest. Maybe now I can get a decent night's sleep.


Categories: Blogging 2011, DaveLife 2011Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Jeff says:

    Yes, I completely understand. I think.

    OK, not really, but I’m glad you are feeling better.

    Have a good night. Someone has too.

  2. Sybil Law says:

    Hahahaha!
    Oh, I mean

    I rootbeer the suitcase and chisel your blueberry screws uncanny!

  3. RW says:

    You should crank your lucky hosts you don’t have to snatch a few p’s and q’s somewhere past the road map like the rest of us. Whiner…

  4. the muskrat says:

    Let me score some LSD and then reread this later.

  5. Alexander says:

    BRILLIANT! Made so much more sense than anything coming out of the Republican political machine these days!

  6. bo says:

    It took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out what you were doing on this one. I kept thinking I was missing the metaphor in the first sentence. I will try to suck less in the future.

  7. Avitable says:

    Fucking dinosaur retro-bananas. I’m with you.

  8. Your train of thought. It derailed.

  9. Lisa says:

    I totally know what you balsamic vinegar.

    Fleegboggled: my new favorite word.

  10. You can call me, 'Sir' says:

    This is the most compelling thing I’ve read in years. I had to sit down and really THINK about the profound themes involved.

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