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Posted on Friday, August 13th, 2010

Dave!Despite multiple horrible experiences at the movies recently (not with the films, but with the dumbasses in the audience), I hooked up with some friends to go see Sylvester Stallone's latest epic masterpiece The Expendables. I ended up enjoyed it quite a lot.

Which is somewhat surprising given the number of poor reviews the film has been getting. Critics just can't seem to leave it alone, saying that it "doesn't live up to expectations," like it's a complete waste of the big-name action stars stacked up behind it...

The Expendables Movie Poster

Which raises the question... What the hell were the critics expecting?

What I expected was a lot of bad dialogue, major ass-kicking, and huge explosions attached to a paper-thin plot and recycled storyline. This seemed logical given that it was co-written, directed, and starring... SYLVESTER STALLONE!

Surprise! The film featured a lot of bad dialogue, major ass-kicking, and huge explosions attached to a paper-thin plot and recycled storyline.

Yes I wish that they hadn't cast drastically over-used Eric Roberts as the bad guy (yet again). Sure I wish the story was tighter in the pacing and expanded in parts to add depth to the characters. Of course it would have been nice to functional dialogue... but that's obviously not what The Expendables was about. It's an homage to cheesy 80's action flicks, and fits the bill perfectly (even if all those 80's cheesy one-liners are curiously absent... Ahnold didn't even say "I'll be back!"). If you turn off your brain and just go with it, as intended, it's entertaining movie fare.

Just don't forget to turn your brain back on as you leave the theater.

Categories: Movies 2010Click To It: Permalink


  1. muskrat says:

    Glad the audience cooperated. I’ll probably wait for NetFlix for this one.

  2. Lisa says:

    I thought this looked like a fun movie when I saw the trailer, and it sounds like it’s the perfect vacation fun kind of movie. Maybe we’ll go see it this week!

  3. Michelle M. says:

    Weren’t Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damm available? And how cool would it have been if the expendables were battling a group of famous action movie villains (Alan Rickman and um, I can’t think of any other names, but I’d know them if I saw them)? Hmmm… maybe in the Expendables 2.

  4. I never turn my brain on. It’s a nuclear device and to turn it on would ensure destruction of all mankind.

    I can’t WAIT to see this movie. FUCKIN-A!

  5. B.E. Earl says:

    Has Eric Roberts been over-used lately? In mean in big-time flicks, not B movies. Besides The Dark Knight, I can’t think of any big movies he’s been in recently. Maybe he has and I’ve just forgotten.

    I agree with you about the critic’s expectations. Are they kidding me? I want to see this movie and I know EXACTLY what to expect. I expect all the components you pointed out.

  6. Avitable says:

    I enjoyed it, too. I would have liked to have more Jet Li scenes that showed his life a little, but it was a throwback to the 80s in all the ways I expected.

  7. I *so* want to go see this.

  8. josh says:

    Mickey “Chowda Face” Rourke literally haunts my dreamz. His smile on this movie poster is more terrifying than a parade of psychotic, blood-thirsty clownz.

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