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Posted on Thursday, June 18th, 2009

Dave!Before I left for Seattle last week, I sprained my right-hand ring finger. Not only did it hurt like hell, but I am having to wear a splint on it for the next couple months to avoid getting a mallet finger. Next week I'm hoping to find time to visit the doctor and make sure I don't need surgery or physical therapy (which would make a sucky situation even suckier).

But why stop there? On Tuesday I pulled a muscle in my back. About the only thing I can do to avoid pain is to lay flat and not move. This is highly impractical, because driving a car requires one to sit up. And so I spend my days doped up on pain-killers while attempting to find a sitting position at my desk which won't bring me to tears.

But why stop there? This morning as I was attempting to get into my car with as little back-trauma as possible, I smacked the side of my head into the door frame. The hit was so hard that I fell into my seat stunned and seeing stars. Suddenly my back didn't feel quite so bad. Something tells me that this is a headache that will be around for a few days.

But why stop there? Limping along with my splinted finder, aching back, throbbing head, and in a pain-killer-induced haze, I managed to step wrong on my foot tonight while climbing stairs. So now I've got a sprained left ankle as well.

What's next?

Well, I've still got hips that are in pretty good shape, so I'm guessing I'll be run over in the street tomorrow morning so I can get me a fractured pelvis.

If everything happens for a reason, I'm sure there's some kind of master plan at work here.

Or I'm being tortured.

Either way, I'm assuming that I've got a rough couple of weeks ahead of me.

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Categories: DaveLife 2009Click To It: Permalink


  1. Jeff says:

    Maybe something is telling you to stay home… in a padded bed (or room). If you stop moving, you might have time to heal. Yes, you are quite welcome for the impractical advise.

  2. faiqa says:

    Wow, I was wondering how the blog post of my 72 year old neighbor got into my reader until, hey, it was actually YOU. 😉 I hope you feel better, soon.

  3. Dickie Maxx says:

    Hope you feel better.

  4. Rachel says:

    You are falling apart. I thought I was klutzy. One (or 6) of my friends said I need to live in a bubble. I think you should be in one as well.

    hope you feel better. I just got my voice back but I still have to keep my broken toe wrapped or I can’t wear shoes.

  5. Kyra says:

    Awww. ON the upside? I’m with ya. I blew my Achilles tendon, and I have pain pills that I can’t decide if they help me, or just make me more worried about something else and distract me.

    Shall we just wrap you in bubble wrap?

  6. jenny says:

    Mallet finger? Yeah, that sounds like something you’d want to avoid.

    Hope the pain meds do their job!

  7. Hilly says:

    Cheezy creezy, Davey-Joe! I hope that whatever Murphy’s Law God of Three Stooges leaves you alone soon. Sheesh.

  8. christie says:

    Ouch! Hope you heal quickly 🙂

  9. delmer says:

    What did you do to hurt your back? I pull a muscle once or twice a year doing such feats of daring as tying my shoes shaking the front wheel loose from my bicycle. I swear, I could get hit my a truck or fall off a roof and not skin my knee … bending down to pick up a piece of paper off the floor might tweak my back.

  10. sizzle says:

    Good lord my friend! Is the Universe trying to give you a not-so-subtle hint to slow down? That’s a lot of aches and pain. I’m sorry.

  11. Tracy says:

    Good lord, that’s a lot of hurtin’ for one week! I almost knocked myself out once getting into the car, and my husband couldn’t figure out how the hell I managed to do it. Now I can share your story and let him know that I am not alone! Cars are dangerous!

    Seriously…be careful out there and feel better soon!

  12. Finn says:

    Are you stressed? Because you can injure yourself really easily when you’re tensed up.

    Or maybe you’re just getting old.

  13. Sybil Law says:

    So, in other words, you totally need a helmet and stuff?!
    Yowza. Will you please take care of yourself?
    Also, go as a pirate to Adam’s party.

  14. John says:

    Sorry guy. Hope ya feel better. : )

  15. martymankins says:

    Sounds like body pains and aches are going around. My right arm is in pain from a pinched nerve in my shoulder. Trying to keep the pains down to a minimum is challenging.

  16. B.E. Earl says:

    Maybe you should just lay down for a while.

    PS – your Washington beer profile is up.

  17. ETinNY says:

    “padded room”, “bubble” and I was thinking of like a sensory deprivation tank but, then realized that’d just allow you to be more aware of all the aches and pains. Besides, you’d probably slip and swallow some of the water that is loaded with epsom salt which can be used as a purgative. Considering your current run of luck, the violent diarrhea would probably cause you to sprain your a-hole, too. Maybe we should all chip in and buy you a hockey goalie outfit (but, without the skates – god forbid!). Really sorry to hear you’re having such a bad time of it. Feel better!

  18. Mrs. Hall says:

    here’s a thought

    first there is the weird swelling out of nowhere for no reason

    then the kidney stone which when you wrote about the nurse asking if you questions during the intake process (at the hospital)- and you said, she probably couldn’t hear me cause I was screaming in pain’- man! that made me laugh so hard I peed!

    Then you have this fabulous life. These pictures you take, oh DAVE! They light up my computer screen and make me all dizzy.

    But this life, it requires gobs and gobs of travel, sleep deprivation, stress stress stress

    and your body is now attacking you.


    only now it is using a multi-pronged approach.

    perhaps your body is telling you something.


  19. Robin says:

    If it makes you feel any better, I hit my head three times trying to drive to work this morning….

    I think the universe is trying to tell you to take a vacation. Take care of yourself – I can’t have one of my favorite people lose their place in line for being gimpy – after all, the gimp slot is reserved for Rachel.

  20. Robin says:

    If it makes you feel any better, I hit my head three times trying to drive to work this morning….

    I think the universe is trying to tell you to take a vacation. Take care of yourself – I can’t have one of my favorite people lose their place in line for being gimpy – after all, the gimp slot is reserved for Rachel.

  21. adena says:

    Holy moly, you’re a klutz!! I thought I was bad!!

  22. mew says:

    wishing you a quick mend.

    also, when i read “so I’m guessing I’ll be run over in the street tomorrow morning so I can get me a fractured pelvis.” i choked on the piece of potato i was eating. >__

  23. claire says:

    Ouch! I guess the key is to not be so doped up on painkillers that you cause yourself more injuries. Hope you’re feeling better soon.

    In the meantime, I completely agree: being a cyborg has a lot of attractive qualities.

  24. Twinkie says:

    I’m with Claire.. it’s the drugs. Or just a good ol fashioned sign of old age setting in.

  25. Anissa says:

    Make sure to tweet when your liver falls out…would hate to miss it!

  26. Poppy says:

    Hmm, I was expecting to see a comment from Dawg. He somehow sprained/injured his right-hand thumb about 2(?) weeks ago and keeps asking girls to open his sodas for him. Because he knows we do it better, I guess.

  27. Iron Fist says:

    I just hope your massive nozzle remains unimpaired.

  28. Sodapop says:

    WOW!!! You are a train wreck! I hope you start feeling better soon! It sucks to have so much going on all at the same time. I empathize! Keep your chin up and remember to breathe 🙂

  29. Good grief! I’m so sorry, Dave2. Wish you could take a break from your busy schedule to just heal.

  30. whall says:

    But why stop there? Wayne got the new iPhone before you did!

  31. Stacey says:

    Geez, Dave. I hope you feel better soon. I’ll share my hydrocodone wth you.

  32. Avitable says:

    When is Apple going to come out with a cyborg body? iBorg?

  33. Göran says:

    Ouch. Sorry about the rough days!!

  34. Lynda says:

    Can I call you Lucky?

  35. Kris says:

    Dude, did you piss off karma or what??

    Feel better, hon!

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