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Bullet Sunday 120

Posted on Sunday, February 15th, 2009

Dave!At long last... Bullet Sunday at home. Imagine that!

&bull Dolly. Okay, I just have to get this out of the way... if the first issue of Joss Whedon's new series is any indication as to what we're in for... Dollhouse is going to suck total ass. This pains me greatly, because I have been looking forward to a new Whedon series forever. After Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, and the amazing Firefly, he teased us with Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, which was sheer genius. It was as if he could not fail. But then along comes Dollhouse, which has to be one of the most boring hours of television I've ever suffered through. Eliza Dushku stars as lead "doll" Echo who had her mind wiped so she could be programmed with different personalities and training, which she then uses to undertake missions for a mysterious company. Now the premise... a hot girl who can become anybody to do a job... had definite possibilities. The reality? Boring. Boring. Boring. The most exciting action in the entire episode was when Dushku's character had an asthma attack. What the hell? I was wishing I had a Dollhouse mind-wipe half-way through the show. Things had better improve a lot in the next installment. Eliza is hot, but not hot enough to keep me watching a shitty, boring TV show...

Eliza Dushku cavorting with blank manequins.

• Snowy. It's been snowing all day. I am really, really tired of snow.

• Poopy. While I was in Mallorca, I saw this confusing sign...

Icon photo of a man behind a dog with... something.

I can't decide if he's waiting for something to come OUT of the dog so he can clean it up... or if he's going to put something UP the dog. Like a bottle of Goldschläger...

Goldschlager Bottle

Icon picture of a man with a Goldschlager bottle behind a dog

Poor doggie. That's just wrong.

• Snowy. It's been snowing all day. Have I mentioned that I am really, really tired of snow?

Now, for some inexplicable reason, I'm really tired (that almost never happens!) so I think I'll turn in early for bed.


Categories: Bullet Sunday 2009Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Arwen says:

    We were just hoping that the pilot sucked (many do) and that the series will get better because you are right, the first show sucked ass.

  2. Göran says:

    How could you miss such obvious information? it´s an artist holding a palette and a brush. The poop has to be in the right color in Palma, Mallorca :-D

  3. kapgar says:

    Well, they do say the ass is pretty much a mainline into the bloodstream, so that stick figure may really be trying to get his dog trashed.

  4. Avitable says:

    Ouch, you’re cranky.

    Dollhouse wasn’t that bad, and you know that Fox made him reshoot the entire pilot because they felt it wasn’t accessible to everyone (which on Fox means it needs to be dumbed down). He got more free reign with other episodes, so I’m sure it will be able to showcase his writing ability soon enough.

  5. Sybil Law says:

    I have to say, I thought Dollhouse looked bad from the promos, so I didn’t even try to watch it.
    That Goldschlager sign- hahahaha!!
    Hope you got some sleep. And less snow today!

  6. B.E. Earl says:

    I think it is inevitable that Dollhouse will get better. I mean, IT HAS TO.

    There are things I want to know. What happened to Amy Acker’s character? The Alpha is obviously gonna be the Big Bad this season, so I am interested in that. I want to know a little more about the process as well. They just jumped in and started the show with very little backstory, so I’m assuming that will all come out sooner or later.

    So while the first episode didn’t wow me…far from it…I will be hanging in there because I have to trust in Joss.

  7. martymankins says:

    Let’s see… Goldschlager has gold flakes in it. Or is the dog pooing out gold flakes to go into the Goldschlager…. Hmm….

    Still haven’t seen Dollhouse yet, but your review will weigh pretty heavy when I do end up watching it.

  8. Badger says:

    I only made it through the first four minutes of Dollhouse before realizing I was not in the target demographic, like, AT ALL. I am a little slow sometimes.

  9. Dave2 says:

    Arwen: I would certainly hope so. It can’t get much worse.

    Göran: That’s a BIG brush for such a tiny canvas!

    Kapgar: Really? Still… poor doggie!

    Avitable: Sorry, but I think it WAS that bad. And, according to his blog, the idea of making the first episode all boring and shitty was entirely his own decision.

    Sybil: Thanks. I’m afraid to look out my window…

    B.E.: Well it’s not like it can get much worse, so I hope you’re right. Joss got seven episodes… but, unless something unprecedented happens, the ratings will kill the show before we can get through all of them.

    Marty: The Metacritic compilation pegs the series as “middle of the road” at 59. But most of the good reviews seem to be based on Whedon’s track record than the actual show. Everybody is counting on it getting better. Fingers crossed.

    Badger: The show was achingly slow… maybe you should have gone an extra few minutes! :-)

  10. Dave S. says:

    That dog sign in and of itself is damn funny, then to add the Goldschlager is priceless. Nice work, Dave2. ;-)

  11. jewelz916 says:

    I’ve had Goldschlager and it’s really good, but I don’t think I’d like it up my butt.

  12. Lexxie says:

    heh, how funny, i was just drinking goldschlager shots on saturday

  13. Peggy Archer says:

    I agree that the pilot was bad. It seemed directionless and I was expecting more from Joss.

    Oh, well.

  14. Hilly says:

    I didn’t think it was that bad either. I just think that shows like this take time for character development.

  15. I haven’t watched Dollhouse yet but from what I’ve read today I think I’ll skip it. I have yet to read a good review. Which is a shame as I loved Firefly. LOVED it.

  16. Cris says:

    OK I agree Dollhouse sucked and I can’t figure out how the series can continue without all viewers feeling like horrible accomplices of the agency that abuses Echo (whom I am more than willing to give you up as a Terrorist if she would sleep with me… and when I say sleep, I do NOT mean sleep) I mean the whole premise seems to cruel to continue. So all we could hope for is she lives long enough to break free and escape? Naw… I think I will just go back to pulling the wigs off of flies and watching free internet porn.

    ON the other hand… I feel your assessment of Fringe was way off after the first episode. I have grown to really like the characters and the Mad doctor guy cracks me up.

  17. Poppy says:

    *gigglesnort* to Goldschlager cleanup.

  18. Twinkie says:

    Well, at least now we know why you were so tired on the 15th. It’s because you were sick on the 16th. Hmmm.. and it happened AFTER watching Dollhouse. A coincidence? I think not!

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