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Posted on Thursday, December 4th, 2008

Dave!Today I got to spend some time at Walt Disney World's "Animal Kingdom."

It's probably my least favorite of the four parks here. Mostly because there just isn't very many cool rides to be found. You've got "Expedition Everest"... and that's just about it. Still, it's fun to go on the Harambe Kilimanjaro Safari every once in a while to see what animals you can spot. Or to wander around the nature trails they have because you're sure to see some nifty animal antics along the way. And I always like visiting Conservation Station so I can see if any cool new jungle frogs are on display.

Animal Kingdom: Forbidden Mountain

Animal Kingdom: Everest Tracks

Animal Kingdom: Ape Break

Animal Kingdom: Rhino Crossing

Animal Kingdom: Elephant Rest

Animal Kingdom: Gator

Animal Kingdom: Ostrich Stop!

Animal Kingdom: Jungle Frog!

Animal Kingdom: Lamp

Animal Kingdom: Donald Duck Car

Good times. Good times.

As an interesting aside, while I was waiting in line to grab a veggie burger for lunch, I noticed the woman ahead of me had a number of buttons pinned to the strap on her purse... all of them sporting anti-gay rhetoric. It was the usual homophobic dumbassery, like "MARRIAGE IS BETWEEN ONE MAN AND ONE WOMAN!" and "SAME SEX MARRIAGE JUST AIN'T RIGHT!" and "GAY IS NOT OKAY IN OUR SCHOOLS!"

As I was standing there burning a hole into the back of her empty head with my mind, I surmised that she would probably be equally happy to get rid of the gays working at Walt Disney World... in which case they'd have to shut it the fuck down. Why doesn't she take her hate-promoting ass over to "The Holy Land Experience?" Given the crazy-ass shit TBN puts on their network, they'd probably welcome this overtly discriminatory behavior at their theme park.

I wonder what the odds are that her three kids will be able to escape from this antiquated bigot mindset?

I wonder what the odds are that one of her three kids is gay?

I wonder if it would make a difference?

Categories: Travel 2008Click To It: Permalink


  1. In a perfect world, all of her kids would turn out gay.

    PS. Thanks for the tweet on Lego weapons. Sweet!

  2. Tug says:

    Have you heard about not leaving the house (calling into work, etc.) on the 10th for support starting with Prop 8 in CA? I heard a blurb on the radio today, but haven’t seen much around the blogosphere…..

  3. Ginger says:

    HA! I wonder how many closeted gays are working at The Holy Land Experience? Given the fact that I personally know dozens of closeted gays who have performed on TBN, there must be a few over there at that other park. Heh.

  4. Mooselet says:

    I have to admit I gave the park I miss when we took the kids to Disneyworld back in 2001. My mother quite likes it, though. I like the blue frog.

    And I do hope one of her kids becomes a drag queen. A good one. A famous one. And outs his bigoted mother for what she is to the world.

  5. Crail00 says:

    Your comments are very well expressed.

    How would these bigots react to find one of their own was gay?

  6. A Lewis says:

    I would have wrapped that purse strap up and around her neck but good. Nice and tight. Until she screamed for jesus.

  7. Robin says:

    People are deranged fucks. Seriously. I hope ALL of her kids are gay, and that one of them is a bottom for Gay porn.

  8. Sarah says:

    Look at the Gorilla! (well obviously YOU took the photo, of course you’ve seen him) I’m pretty excited because I might have time to volunteer at a safari like park not too far from me. Which means I get to feed and play with the monkeys. Are you jealous?

  9. Sarah says:

    Oh and did you like how my comment had nothing really to do with your post? I know, I’m awesome.

  10. ~jtm says:

    Love your pics! It’s been ages since I was at Disney. As for that ‘lady’, we can only hope for the safety of any of her kids that they aren’t gay. I’ve heard to many stories of kids being put on the street, put through ‘repairative therapy’ or worse turning to suicide. Ok, far to early for me to get worked up…. ah, lovely pictures. Thanks Dave!

  11. Avitable says:

    After visiting Animal Kingdom for the first time last month, I’d have to say that it’s my favorite park. I loved the little authentic touches in Mumbai, and the food was good. I could sit and watch the gorillas all day. The rides are secondary to me for that park.

  12. When I was in college, Disney and Universal always advertised at the school of music for performers for the parks. Almost 3/4 of the people who went and got jobs there were gay. I didn’t see what the big deal was. I know that this is America and we are allowed to have our own opinions, but people really need to rope it in when they go to theme parks. Oh, and shower. People really need to shower when they go to the theme parks.

  13. I actually disagree with other commenters. I hope for their sakes that none of her kids are gay. I don’t think there is anything wrong with it at all, I just think it would be really sad for the child because I bet she’d not be ok with them being gay and I’d never wish a bad relationship with their parents on any child.

    When we were at Disney last year I didn’t really love Animal Kingdom. It was fine, but not nearly as exciting as I had expected based on things other people told me. Although I think that is where they had a bunch of bones and skulls of animals that my sons both thought were very cool. And the bat house? That was cool too. I guess it was just not amazing in comparison to what else there was because now that I am thinking about it, it certainly sounds cooler than I remembered it being.

  14. NYCWD says:

    I went when it first opened before the Everest Expedition… and I wasn’t impressed.

    I have heard that the Yeti on Everest is insane though… so when/if I go back… it’ll be a park hopper stop… and that’s about it.

  15. whall says:

    I bet that ostrich is gay.

    You’d think that the anti-gay people wouldn’t mind so much at the liberal policies because

    A) no-one’s proven that homosexuality is contagious
    B) being gay produces no offspring, so their long-term life-span is already shortened, so they’ll die out eventually
    C) most liberals are ok with abortion, so they’re killing off their own kind already anyway.

    So why can’t they just adopt the Chinese custom of just waiting out their enemies? Sit, watch, learn, and wait. That way, you win, right?

  16. Finn says:

    Every time I see a gorilla I think it looks like a guy in a gorilla suit. Anyone who says we’re not related to them is just in denial.

    I think those of us with a brain and a heart should make up buttons with hate slogans about “born-again” people and see how they like it.

  17. Nicole says:

    I have to agree on your assessment of Animal Kingdom. I love animals, but it was a huge disappointment to me. I’ve only been there once but am not planning on going back for more than a couple of hours to ride Everest (it was being built when I was there last).

  18. Faiqa says:

    I’ve lived in CFL for, well, all of my life. Never been to Animal Kingdom. The pics were beautiful. The intolerant hag in front of you? Nauseating.

  19. Dickie Maxx says:

    I often find that bigots get justice served to them because one of their children either become or date the thing they hate. It just seems like God’s way of sharing the love.

  20. Naomi says:

    Being decked out in anti-gay flair at Disney World is the equivalent of passing out Klan brochures in the middle of Africa…

  21. delmer says:

    Do things like Expedition Everest make you nauseous? I thought I was going to make it off EE without any upset stomach feelings … and then it went backwards and my stomach flipped.

  22. TWINKIE says:

    I admire the restraint you showed and the fact that the lady still has all ten fingers.

    She DOES have all ten fingers, right?


    OH gawd….

  23. Arwen says:

    What’s really classic is that Disney is one of the first corporations in the US to extend benefits to same sex couples and people who care for their parents. They were the harbinger of what needs to happen in the US and were boycotted by dumb asses like that woman for years. I guess her memory is as big as her intelligence.
    (MY vitriol waxes poetic today)

  24. I would *really* love to know exactly what she thinks is going to happen if they allow teh gay in schools. I mean srsly, wtf people? I just want to shake people like her. Ugh.

  25. Poppy says:

    BOULLIABAISSE, those photos are gorgeous!

  26. ChillyWilly says:

    as you would say… “Expedition Everest, bitches!”

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