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Posted on Friday, November 14th, 2008

Dave!I don't have anything to write about, so I'm just going to bitch about Walgreens and see where that takes me.

This past Monday I went to an allergy specialist to find out why I keep dying, only to find out that it's some kind of crapshoot that has no real cause that can be determined. This lovely piece of news was punctuated by the doctor recommending that I ignore all the drug precautions on the box, and start overdosing on antihistamines every night before bed. I was also given an additional prescription for adrenaline injectors just in case I start dying again.

After only a week, I am feeling so much better I just don't know what to do with myself.

The constant nausea and random swelling seems to have disappeared. If only I had known that abusing drugs was so great, I would have started doing it a long time ago.

Anyway, when I went to pick up my adrenaline on Monday, the line of eight people at Walgreens didn't move an inch in FIFTEEN MINUTES (probably because they only had ONE person working the counter), so I gave up and drove home... hoping that I wouldn't die on the way. Today I had a work-errand in Weantchee, so I decided to stop by Walgreens again and see if I could pick up my shit. There were only two people in line, so I figured it wouldn't take very long. Turns out that was just a dream. Once again there was only one person working the counter, and they would randomly disappear for 10 minutes at a time. Meanwhile, the line grew to six people and nobody was going anywhere. Finally, after 28 MINUTES (I timed it!) I was able to buy my injectors and trip the fuck out the door. WTF?!? The prescription had already been filled... I was just picking up. I could have found a whore and got blown in less time than it takes to buy drugs at Walgreens.

"So why shop there?" you may be asking.

I use Walgreens because I travel a lot and having a pharmacy nation-wide that's able to fill my prescriptions comes in handy. But now I'm wondering if it's worth the hassle. That's a darn shame because, ironically, I love Walgreens for buying just about everything else. Everything except drugs, which is what I thought a pharmacy is supposed to be for in the first place. One of these days, some drug store chain is going to guarantee you get your shit in 10 minutes or less or you get it free, and it's going to revolutionize the entire pharmacy business. Surely I'm not the only one who is sick and tired of wasting time standing in line at Walgreens. It's not like there's a Disneyland attraction or a blowjob waiting for you at the end.

Well, at least that's the case at my local Walgreens. Your Walgreens may provide value-added services like Disney attractions and blowjobs, which would make it totally worth standing in line for.

And if this is the case, please email me with the address.

Categories: DaveLife 2008Click To It: Permalink


  1. claire says:

    We don’t even have Walgreens where I live. However, when I travel I do usually stop in one because they carry a product I can’t get here. Stupid boonies.

  2. delmer says:

    “I could have found a whore and got blown in less time than it takes to buy drugs at Walgreens”

    I gotta start vacationing in Washington. Is this a statewide perk? Or local to your area?

  3. Dave2 says:

    Given the current state of our economy, I’d imagine that it’s nationwide!

  4. yellojkt says:

    All our prescriptions are at Target which is also nationwide and the service is pretty quick.

  5. Sybil Law says:

    Nope – not here – our Walgreen’s sucks, too.
    Anyway, I’m glad you got your meds! (And that they’re working!)

  6. A Lewis says:

    I get my drugs in the back alley. Under the cover of darkness. Wanna go with me next time? It’s faster.

  7. Crail00 says:

    Hmmmmm – what about CVS which just merged with Longs Drugs? Longs is mainly in the western mainland states and Hawaii.

    That is a biased suggestion since I am a retired Longs Drugs employee 🙂

  8. Hilly says:

    We only have a few Walgreens in my area since CVS is huge here in Southern California. However, they are the really cool drive through ones where the people kiss your ass and move you through very quickly because hi, it’s Orange County and things here aren’t real.


    Anyway, I’m insured through the Kaiser Network and have to use their pharmacies. They DO offer blow jobs but that’s never helped me…at all. That’s just adding insult to injury! 🙂

  9. Dave2 says:

    The Walgreens here has a drive-through, but it’s always 4-cars deep and there’s no way I’m wasting my time AND GAS waiting to get my prescription!

  10. Kailey says:

    We don’t have a Walgreens here at all. I think I may have gone in one once in San Francisco… it was big. I get my prescriptions filled at Bi-Mart, they are generally fast and efficient, but I’m pretty sure they aren’t a very big company.

  11. awytch says:

    One word:


    Yep, I know that it’s a Wenatchee Valley Washingtonian’s PATRIOTIC Duty to boycott Wally World,


    my epi-pens (I get them redone every 6 months, paranoid, who me?) + my antibiotics + all my inhalors (I HATE spraying season in orchards) cost me less than one prescription refill at Walgreens (or Payless, where I used to go religiously because the pharmacist, Ethel is soooo totally awesome) And they are nationwide (heck, you can even get refilled in Cardiff, Wales at the local ASDA Store if need be, I checked just in case) and if you comp them they WILL give you the lowest price going locally…

    And the staff tries to be nice and polite (most of them do have to live with the rest of us, after all or at least with their spouses, significant others, etc. and THEY know exactly what kind of rep Wally World has in the Valley)..

    And they really do try to be efficient and accurate, so give ’em a try, what do you have to lose?

  12. Jeff says:

    I’ve never understood what takes so long to fill prescriptions. Even when there’s nobody in line they tell you to come back in 25-30 minutes. Grab some pills, put them in a bottle, print the label and give it to me. 10 minutes tops.

  13. Mik says:

    Okay, I’m off to see if our Walgreens offers any extras!

  14. P. Gardiner says:

    I’ve found it doesn’t matter, pharmacies have to call & get the prescription. My husband got a Costco prescription refilled in another state at a Walmart because it was all we could find. I also ran out of allergy medicine on a vacation and Walgreen’s was able to get the scrip even though I used a small Mom & Pop at home. I also had a super expensive scrip filled while on vacation (on purpose) at Sam’s Club where it was half the price than at home. Carry a scrip with you, unless it a narcotic anyone can fill it. I work with someone who is missing her thyroid due to cancer, and her doc gave her scrips for a six month supply in case there is some sort of shortage or natural disaster. Surely you have a pharmacist or pharm tech reader who can clarify.

  15. Sarah says:

    My Dad works in a hospital so I go to their outpatient pharmacy to get prescriptions and stuff. It’s pretty nice because everyone knows me there so I usually get my stuff pretty quick. But I heard CVS is pretty good, but I don’t know how many there are everywhere though.

  16. sarah says:

    Hm, I don’t know if my local Walgreen’s offers blowjobs, since I’m a girl oh yeah I’m not in the market for RECEIVING blowjobs, but the check out dude is cute and he hits on me. That’s kinda like offering blowjobs….but not.

    Glad you’re still alive. Next time you’re in Memphis, share your drugs dude. LOL

  17. Mrs RW says:

    They stopped offering free blow jobs at my Walgreen’s — people wanted more than one and the line backed up even more. I’m waiting to see what CVS will offer; blow jobs really didn’t do it for me so they better come up with a “girlie treat” to get my business.

  18. Matt says:


    * Rx by mail? (my fav) – won’t work for you given your need for drugs NOW!
    * Walmart, Target, CVS (do you have those?), etc… nah…they’re all the same…

    Wait…I got it…

    * Lay on the floor in front of the counter clutching your chest!…that may reduce the wait from 28 minutes to, say, 26 minutes!

    Sorry…that’s all I got.

  19. Faiqa says:

    Nope, not just your Walgreens. My Walgreens is the same. I use CVS. BTW, I have very bad allergies too — some of which they have identified, some which they have not… I feel you (no, not literally).

  20. Pattie says:

    The closest pharmacy for me is CVS (although in Chicago there’s a Walgreens on every block) and I’ve waited crazy long times with only ONE person in front of me before. I thought it was just a regular pharmacy type thing, make people wait forever to be sure they WANT the drugs. Do you think maybe they teach that in pharmacy school?

  21. Lisa says:

    I’m having problems finding a drugstore that even carries the drugs I NEED. I’ve been forced to use a pharmacy that’s attached to my local hospital to get certain prescriptions filled.

    I refuse to go to Wal-Mart for anything else because no matter how many people may be before me (or you) it’s an hour wait.

  22. kapgar says:

    I ain’t sayin’ nothin’.

  23. stef says:

    nope, walgreens in cincinnati are the same. and i love walgreens because far more of them are open 24 hours than any other pharmacy in the city, and because i generally remember to go get my prescriptions really late in the day.

    i think they’re less expensive than cvs or other chains, but they aren’t the best in the “speedy customer service” department.

  24. Ours is the same. We continue to use it because it is right near our house and when I have a sick kid or I am sick myself, I don’t want to have to be driving around to get medicines. I try to go during the middle of the day and sometimes that helps.

  25. karla says:

    Norwegian pharmacies have always given a blowjob with purchase. Bit of a bummer if you are a girl.

    I kid, I kid. The pharmacies here seem pretty efficient, all told, I’ve never had to wait too long for a prescription, they have them all on this big round lazy Susan type thing that’s about 6 feet tall with many cubbies. You hand them the prescription, they give you a box of pills. All the medicines come in pre-filled boxes, so no fucking around with counting out pills and putting them in bottles. Maybe that’s a big time saver right there.

  26. Mitchell says:

    Walgreens is the devil, if you lived on this side of the mountains, I would tell you to shop at the company I’m with, of course that doesn’t help with the whole traveling thing…

    The turn around time -should be roughly 5-7 minutes, 9-13 during busy hours. That is enough time for the pharmacist to open the bottle, count and verify; and the technician to deal with insurance. Then the clerk grabs the goods and sends it out. Nothing can leave the pharmacy without the pharmacist’s signature. At a few stores in our chain, some of the pharmacists would be there hours after the pharmacy closes just verifying and signing off on the prescriptions. Some have even told me that they have nightmares, wondering if they gave them the right pill, or if it would interact with something else the customer is taking that the pharmacist doesn’t know about. Doctors don’t really know about some of the interactions with these brand-new prescriptions that come out. It’s also kind of scary that you don’t have to have any schooling to be a clerk or technician (min 1year clerk experience)

    Of course the problem your having sounds like the clerks and technicians are slow, or the pharmacist on duty is being plain lazy. Stores with drive trough’s also get things faster (with my company anyway) sorry about your bad service!

  27. Dave2 says:

    Here’s the thing that everybody is missing that makes this story so much worse… my prescription was ready. It had been filled earlier in the week. They took the Epi-Pens off the shelf and put them in the bag. No counting pills… no anything. I can only guess that people ahead of me were having their prescriptions filled, in which case they should be told to wait off to the side instead of holding up the entire line for people who already have their stuff ready (how hard would it be to say “I’m sorry your prescription isn’t ready, I’ll let the pharmacist know you’re here while I take care of these other people in line”). But even once I got to the counter I was screwed because the register clerk disappeared for 5 minutes without explanation. THEN they couldn’t find my prescription when they got back because the Epi-Pens wouldn’t fit in the trays and was elsewhere. I remain dumbfounded that it took TWENTY-EIGHT MINUTES to hand over the adrenaline injectors and run my credit card… if this is typical, something needs to change.

  28. I feel your pain, man. going to pick up your drugs at ANY drugstore blows.

    Anyways, about your allergies.. have you ever thought of trying a homeopathic remedy? I don’t know of anything specific. Just askin in general..

  29. Lexxie says:

    come stop at my Bartells in Bellevue! i’ll smack them and make them be fast for you. 😀

  30. Gina says:

    I have always had problems with Walgreen’s – no matter which Walgreen’s I visited for my prescriptions. I prefer to use an independent pharmacy and luckily found one within two blocks of my apartment building when I moved a year or so back.

    Even when I need a prescription and I am not in the area, they are able to transfer the prescription to whatever pharmacy is in the area (though it will have to be between 10 and 10).

    All this talk about blow jobs by you is getting me way to excited while sitting here at my desk at the office, though. Why did you have to get me thinking about you and blow jobs? Why? 😉

  31. *lynne* says:

    my mysterious hives have *finally* gone away too… after loading myself with zyrtec and benadryl and singulair and (this is probably what made the difference) a new drug called xyzal. Your allergist and mine said the same thing – they don’t really know what causes them, but hey, let’s start you on H1 & H2 blockers and go from there… if nothing works, we’ll bring out the big guns and start messing with your immune system regulators… yikes! Glad I have not needed to get to that level!

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