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Posted on Monday, July 7th, 2008

Dave!WTF?? It's happened to me AGAIN?!? Seriously, do these fuckers not know how to take inventory?

I'd like a veggie burger! Sorry, we're out of veggie burgers.

Are you sure (gun to head). Uhhh... yes?


Blam (shoots off hat off waiter)

Johnny Rockets sucks ass!

Somebody needs to die.

Categories: Food 2008Click To It: Permalink


  1. Penelope says:

    Urgh! Sucky sucky suck!
    The cartoons totally rock(et) though! (Lousy pun, sorry, shoot me too please.)

  2. carlos m. hernandez says:

    Oooh, does this mean we’ll be treated to another series of Bad Monkey revenge-killing toons?

    Sure hope so, I’m interested to see what new, creative ways of killing he’ll come up with.

    Is it wrong to get so excited over a cartoon monkey?

  3. NYCWD says:

    You would think by now they would have hired people who could count.

    I bet Bad Monkey would do a better job keeping inventory.

  4. Angie says:

    I laughed my ass off when I saw Bad Monkey crap on the counter!

  5. Avitable says:

    He fell over from his hat being shot off? And where did Bad Monkey put that knife before pooping? Or do I really want to know?

  6. Dave2 says:

    The waiter fainted from a gun being shot off in his face… but Lil’ Dave didn’t kill him… he’s too nice for that, and decided to just shoot his hat off.

    The knife is buried in he waiter’s chest. Bad Monkey, as it turns out, is not so nice.

  7. wow, seriously Dave…I am thinking about going to go to Mohegan Sun, getting you a veggie burger at Johnny Rockets and have it air mailed to you just to make you happy…all this death and destruction…it’s so senseless!

  8. Miss Britt says:

    It looks like Bad Monkey needs more fiber.

  9. Dave2 says:

    Penelope… No doubt! I wanted my veggie burger!!

    Carlos… I hope it’s not wrong, or else I am in serious trouble.

    Watchdawg… I’m positive of it. Because Bad Monkey can count to ONE. When you’re down to ONE CASE, order MORE!

    Angie… Probably because you didn’t have to clean it up.

    Cissa… More or less senseless than Johnny Rockets being so stupid that they can’t keep a FROZEN item in stock??

    Miss Britt… His diet consists entirely of vodka and chocolate pudding lately, so you could be right.

  10. Harold says:

    Hey Dave, don’t have a cow !!!!!

  11. Iron Fist says:

    Johnny Rockets deserves to get the Lifetime EPIC FAIL Award. Bitches.

  12. Finn says:

    I think a letter to corporate is in order. Or you could just print this out and send it. Yeah, I like that better.

  13. shari says:

    My mom is vegetarian, and when traveling, she has been known to carry a Boca Burger in a cooler, HAND it to the fast-food restaurant (notably, Wendy’s was cooperative), and ask them to make her a sandwich using it. I was perfectly mortified, but she went home happy.

  14. kilax says:

    Oh man. I am hoping that doesn’t happen to me when I go to the Hard Rock Cafe tonight 🙁

    I don’t understand this. How hard is it to keep an effin’ box of frozen veggie patties in a freezer?!

  15. ajooja says:

    I love Bad Monkey more than I’ll ever be able to say.

  16. Tug says:

    OMG, is it wrong that I laughed hysterically at your pissed-offedness?

  17. John says:

    Hahaha. Well, Counter Guy stood his ground anyway. That’s something.

  18. Dave2 says:

    Harold… I was trying really hard not to, but that’s all they had available.

    Iron Fist… No doubt. On the list of EPIC FAILS, Johnny Rockets not being able to keep a fucking FROZEN veggie burger inventory is about as FAIL as you can get!

    Finn… I agree. I’m trying to calm down before I write my letter.

    Shari… The last time I was at the U-District Johnny Rockets, I very nearly walked across the street and bought a box. But I was so pissed that I probably would have kicked it up somebody’s ass.

    Kilax… Apparently maintaining an inventory of a FROZEN item that DOESN’T SPOIL is monumentally difficult… all reason to the contrary.

    Ajooja… I’d say he loves you too… but I think we both know that’s not true.

    Tug… Depends… were you laughing AT me or WITH me? 🙂

    John… I’d like to think that he at least pissed himself… but that he was wearing Depends, so it didn’t show.

  19. Tug says:

    WITH you of course – I would NEVER laugh at someone with the power of bad monkey (& my t-shirts & caps & stuff).


  20. Willo says:

    I’m noticing a violent trend here … when things don’t go your way. Hmmmmm … remind me to ALWAYS say yes to you.

  21. Tracy Lynn says:

    Dave, you have GOT to stop stuffing your feelings. It could cause an aneurysm. Let it out, dude.

  22. Sue says:

    The world is against vegetarians. Uh… or just Johnny. That sucks, again.

  23. Stacey says:

    As someone who gets sent there by her boss somewhat regularly, I can tell you that Burger King ALWAYS has veggie burgers. I can’t imagine the quality is stupendous though.

  24. Sarah says:

    Obviously they knew you were Dave of Blogography and thought you could use the blog fodder. They’ve been planning this from the beginning.

  25. it is seriously wrong how much i love that bad monkey crapped on the counter.
    even sadder is how much i have wanted to do that in many situations.
    and yet those facts make me giggle.
    me thinks i have issues.

  26. Matt says:

    I’m not a vegetarian, although I do tend to eat vegetarian a lot. And while I’m addicted to burgers, a good veggie burger is exactly the right thing sometimes. Don’t they realize that it’s not just vegetarians who eat them?

    I’ll light a candle, Dave.

  27. Göran says:

    Mail Johnny Rockets the bad monkey poop. That will be a clear enough message!

  28. Whitenoise says:

    No offense, dude, but I’m really happy to be a carnivore. (Hey, I wonder what monkey steaks are like…?)

    Seriously, it’s admirable, though, that people like you are willing to suffer for their beliefs.

  29. I saw that things are rough in real life, so I sent you some chocolate pudding on webkinz world. Chocolate pudding can fix just about anything, right?

  30. Belinda says:

    Johnny Rocket’s doesn’t have soft-serve ice cream, do they? Because what Bad Monkey left on the counter, there….oh, never mind.

    (Oh, and Bella wanted me to make sure you know that your monkey is “Pet of the Month” on Webkinz this month. Extra goodies for all the monkeys.)

  31. Winter says:

    Karl and Hilly and I will have to go to the JR here in Orange and order the veggie burger… just so we can let you know if they’re out when we see you at Dave Diego. HEH.

  32. whall says:

    OMG! you shot Charlie Brown!

  33. Johnny Rockets better get it together. If they keep screwing you over like this, I’m going to have to boycott, and they don’t want to see a Ninja who’s had to go without his beloved tuna melts!

  34. Mike Jones says:

    Think of how I feel when I am surrounded by morons! I hate my job so much. The worst is when old rich white people or preppy doosh bags(i’m not racist I’m half white). no offense, they know who they are, come in and ask if i’m the soda jerk, and want you to make everything exactly like it was in the fifties. Sometimes I want to say that we should put a WHITES ONLY sign above the counter and re-create history with the first T-BAGGED milk shake and first pube burger fifties style. Some of you are cool and deserve great service, and i hate it when I cannot deliver due to the retardedness of my staff and being pre-occupied with those moron customers who want to know why it takes over 5 minutes for a 6 person order with all well done burgers. But what I hate more than those customers are the management staff. I’m low man on the totum poll and the red headed step child to my superiors. And my bosses are retarded. i have to deal with a lazy 40 year old server and retarded teenagers for servers who make almost as much as me. I regret every day I am there. Times were hard a year ago and I wanted to move forward in my career so I took the first thing smoking. I know being a restaurant manger generally sucks but it shouldn’t be as demeaning and crappy as making 26,000 a year with no benifits working well over 50 hours a week alot near 60. So please dont shoot me. make sure that the person you shoot is over 5’10” or shorter than 5’7″ just in case you do get to bust a cap in a johnny rockets employee before I do.

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