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DaveCock

Posted on Tuesday, July 1st, 2008

Dave!Once again, I am not here today. I am over at Karl's blog Secondhand Tryptophan where I am guest-posting for his annual "Summer of Love" event.

Because I start traveling this week, I decided to do something special since I won't have time to do anymore guest posting for a while. Heck, I'm still trying to figure out how I am going to find time to write in my own blog. Maybe I should have started my own "Summer of Love" and got Karl to post for me! A pity I'm just not that smart.

In any event, what I am doing today is posting a naked photo of myself over there. It's something I would never do on my own blog, but Karl said "there are no rules" and "you have carte blanche," so I figured "what the heck?"

I'm sure Naked Dave will raise a few questions, which I am happy to answer below...

DAVETOON: I Blogged So Karl Didn't Have To!

Yes that's really me naked.

The photo was taken back in 2001.

It was taken by my then-girlfriend who decided to goof around with my digital camera.

I have no idea why I kept the image, except that it's a pretty darn fine picture, if I do say so myself.

This is not the only naked picture of me on the internet. Somewhere out there, somebody has posted a photo of my bare ass. And no, I'm not telling you where it is (though it's totally worth tracking it down because, let's face it, I've got a totally hot ass).

No, I can't send you a high-res version, because Hilly has gone and trademarked DaveCock. From my Twitter Feed...

Twitter chat where Hilly trademakrs DaveCock!

No, she didn't trademark DaveBalls, so my testicles still belong to me.

For the time being, anyway.

UPDATE: With so many blogs going under, I've decided to archive my guest-entry just in case it disappears over at Karl's.

This is not Karl.

My name is Dave, and I have my very own blog called Blogography.

I am here to kick off Karl's annual "SUMMER OF LOVE" event, where Karl gets people to guest-blog on Secondhand Tryptophan so he can enjoy a couple months of summertime rest and relaxation while he cuts back to half-time blogging.

Or, as I like to call it, "SUMMER OF LAZINESS!"

As I recall, Karl's invitation went something like this...

  • KARL: Hey Dave, do you want to guest-blog for me during my Summer of Love?
  • DAVE: Well, I'm working on three jobs right now and am starting five months of back-to-back travel, so I...
  • KARL: So that's a yes then? Great, just great! I'll pencil you in for July 1st!
  • DAVE: Errr... I dunno if...
  • KARL: Thanks, Dave! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to tally up how much advertising revenue I made off my blog this month. Please keep in mind that if your guest-post sucks and my ad revenue drops, I'll be sending you an invoice for the difference! Bye! =click!=

So here I am...

Trying not to suck because I don't have the several thousand dollars that Karl makes in ad revenue every day.

But what to do? What is it that will ensure lots of blog hits? What is the one thing on the internet that nobody on earth can can resist?

Answer: ELIZABETH HURLEY NAKED!!

Except I don't have any naked pictures of Elizabeth Hurley, so my only option is to post a naked photo of MYSELF!

No bullshit, I am posting an actual naked photo of me... one of those photos I've always feared will end up on the internet somehow.

Well, there's no time like the present...

Just a little photo of Dave naked.

There... NAKED DAVE!

Now everybody click on Karl's ads so I don't have to sell my kidney.

   

But before I go, I made a badge that Karl's guest bloggers can use to let people know that they're blogging so Karl doesn't have to...

DAVETOON: I Blogged So Karl Didn't Have To!

And there you have it.

I sure hope that Karl did something entirely depraved and pointless with the time he saved by not having to blog today!


Categories: Blogging 2008Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. jenny says:

    What’s next? Your lost sex tape with Elizabeth Hurley that accidentally leaks onto YouTube? Photos of you and Amy Winehouse doing lines of coke with lime? It’s all too much. :)

  2. Avitable says:

    So you won’t guest post for me for the entire month of August?

  3. Michelle says:

    Damn, and I don’t have a magnifying glass.

  4. Karl says:

    Ha, DaveCock is on my blog! Woo hoo!

    Thanks for taking the time to guest post for me, dude. You rock, even without the DaveCock.

  5. Winter says:

    I might have to track down the DaveAss. I am a bit of an AssFan when the Ass is Hawt. Oh, and I love that Bad Monkey is picking his nose in that badge.

  6. Hilly Sue says:

    I knew that was really you, even through all that pesky pixelation!

    The good thing about me trademarking DaveCock is that I can now give glowing testi-monials about it and such ;).

  7. Penelope says:

    I’m not sure what the protocol is now. Do I say “What lovely weather for the time of year, and by the way, nice cock?” Help!

  8. ChillyWilly says:

    You’d better hurry and get that DaveBalls trademarked before someone like Hello Haha Narf goes and starts posts twats about it.

  9. delmer says:

    Is that a mullet your wearing?

  10. Dave2 says:

    Jenny… If I had a sex tape of me and Elizabeth Hurley, there would be no accidental leakage. I would build an entire website which features the video in high-def! I would announce its existence daily on my blog. I would announce its existence daily on YOUR blog. Everybody on earth would know about it. As for me and Amy Winehouse… we’re just friends. And I don’t recommend snorting Coke with Lime because the carbonation can lead to reckless behavior… like posting naked photos of yourself on somebody’s blog.

    Avitable… Of course I would! How fun would it be to take over your blog for a month? Of course, I can’t guarantee that you’d like it when you got it back…

    Michelle… Ego crushing! And you are supposed to be MVBFITWWW?? :-)

    Karl… I don’t even want to contemplate life without The DaveCock, but you’re welcome.

    Winter… It’s quite a treat. The focus is a little off, but there is no denying the hotness of my ass.

    Hilly-Sue… You’re hiring a P.R. firm to talk-up The DaveCock? Now THAT’S brand marketing!

    Penelope… I’d lead with how nice my bits and pieces are BEFORE discussing the weather, but that would be lovely!

    ChillyWilly… It’s a lot of money to trademark something… what’s the worst thing that could happen to my balls?

    Delmer… Errr, no. My hair is actually very close to a buzz-cut in that photo. My head must be merging into the background or something.

  11. ajooja says:

    Naked people rock!!!

  12. Laurence says:

    What can I say? Mmmmm… I just want more naked pictures of you…

    P.S. I really said that ?
    P.P.S. Oh yes… I really said that ! :D

  13. elfenkate says:

    DaveCock after lunch. Now that’s a good day!

  14. Lewis says:

    oh my god, i haven’t even been over there yet, and I’m STILL NERVOUS. You’ll do anything to drive readers and hit to your site, won’t you? You’re nothing but a 20% cock whore. Hugs.

  15. Lewis says:

    Is that all the bigger it is? You got us all worked up over THAT? I’ll expect a big one in my email inbox. …Pronto.

  16. Tori says:

    I’d like to buy some DaveCock from the Artificial Duck Store… can you just add it to my order… send me the bill…

  17. Mocha says:

    I can’t leave a lame-ass comment fast enough so I can go click on DaveCock.

  18. Tug says:

    Either it was really cold outside or my monitor sucks, or I need to recheck my bifocals…

  19. shari says:

    Oooh, that pic. can totally be the badge for: “TC’09 — Unwrapped.”

  20. Patty says:

    Now, I have to go on over to Karl’s site to see this picture, ha! Somehow, I don’t think you’ll be as nude as Karl is on his blog….ha.

  21. Belinda says:

    Tease. And now I am totally naming a rooster DaveCock. Will try and resist the urge to serve DaveCock with dumplings.

  22. Carl says:

    Aah, i wonder if seeing your micro naked pic makes me gay?! Technically its a bit of a peachy fleshy blur, so I hope not.

  23. karla says:

    Dave, of all people, you should know that being nearsighted allows you to see things close up that other, normally sighted people cannot see.

    As a severely nearsighted person, I really enjoyed your picture on Karl’s blog. I know you so much better now.

    No, really. Thank you.

    ALOT.

  24. Bec says:

    DaveCock – the perfect way to end any day!

  25. Matt says:

    “DaveCock” – hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

    (Umm – I was laughing at the name, not the picture. I didn’t go to see the picture. I wouldn’t do things like that.)

  26. Kelley says:

    Damn tease.

    I got the husband out of the room and everything.

    Disappointment does not become me…

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